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  • 1 Post By DamianStitch

Thread: Is this situation recoverable? Feedback Appreciated!

  1. #1
    Alchemist26 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Is this situation recoverable? Feedback Appreciated!

    Hi all, I'm pretty new to PUA. With that being said, let me preface this post by saying that I know I messed up badly. I've been doing a lot of reading and trying to integrate (and apply) what I learn into my life. However, I still get snagged up in some areas and revert to my old mentality regarding women. If you can give me some advice regarding the following situation, I'd greatly appreciate it.

    I met this girl in my lab at college, and we both recently graduated. I've been asking her to hang out for a while, and I had a notion that she was into me. We both went to grab drinks recently, and we started talking about relationships. Eventually this topic led to a point where I asked her "what would you do if I liked you?", and she told me that she would just see me as friend. She asked me if I did, and I was a bit shocked by her response (because of her perspective), so I played it off. Later, against my better judgment, I fessed up and told her, just to get it out in the open. She told me that I'm nice, intelligent, and attractive, but she wouldn't date me simply because she (24) has dated immature 22 year olds before and she needs to draw the line "somewhere". She told me if I was 26 that she would date me. The entire time, I did not attempt to change her mind; I explicitly told her that it's up to her to decide what's best for her, and that was that. I also told her that I typically don't talk to girls after things like this become clear.

    Later, it was time to leave (she told me that day I could sleep over at her place). When we got back, she told me I can sleep anywhere I want, and I told her I'd crash on the couch. She then said that SHE wanted to sleep on the couch, and I told her I wasn't going to move. (Here's where I blew it): She said "fine", walked over, and laid down on top of me (I was sitting vertically, and she was laying horizontally on me, but her eyes were closed. I tried taking off her shoes, and she would playfully hit me, etc. I told her "you're no fun", and she would reply with "I'm loads of fun" with a smile on her face. After a few times I stopped eventually, because I was really confused as to if she was sleepy or horny. She then left and went to her room to sleep. The next morning, I left her place and sent her a text (mistake #2) saying that I think she's genuinely beautiful on the inside/out, etc. and I wish her all the best in life. I also left her a 20 dollar bill on her table because she had mentioned she was running low on cash (mistake #3). She never replied to my text. Turns out, I forgot a key on her table (go figure) and I met up with her the next day. Prior to meeting up with her, she told me she thought she had a week from hell and was getting her period, and boy did it show. She barely smiled when she saw me the next day, told me I made her feel like feel like a hooker for leaving her 20 dollars (and that she didn't want my pity money), and didn't try to make conversation with me at all. When we got to her place, it was a bit awkward...she kinda stood staring at me for like 2 min, with me staring back thinking and asking her wtf? I asked her to take a seat (to which she laughed and replied, seriously? and then said fine and walked over) and I told her that (mistake #4) I was sorry if I hurt her feelings regarding the twenty dollars and the text I sent her and that I did want to hang out with her more. She told me okay, not everything has to be set in stone, and also "just to let me know, me being there was making it worse because she was in a mood and wanted to be left alone". I also asked her about the whole throwing herself on top of me (mistake #5?) and she laughed, threw her hands up, and said she was simply sleepy and wanted to crash on her couch, because it's her favorite sleeping spot. I then took her leave, and went downstairs, trying to find my train schedule. I then heard her like scream or yell in frustration from her apartment as I was walking out the door.

    Six days later after no communication, I texted the girl saying "Hey, I can see how leaving the 20 dollars on your table can come across as being offensive. It wasn't my intention to make you feel like a hooker (even though we didn't hook up lol). But I was hoping we could amend the situation and start over. What do you think?"

    It's been 4 days and I haven't received a reply or response from the girl, which is odd because she typically responds right away (this was true even the day after when I left my key at her place, and she told me how she was angry). I'm not sure if she is playing games or genuinely frustrated at me.


    I'm kind of confused on where to go from here next? I understand that I've done many things I shouldn't have (after the fact), I should be dating more women etc, and I recognize that there are many women out there. However, I wanted to know specifically if this situation is recoverable and/or any steps I should take from this point on in order to grow her attraction for me (which I think she has, correct me if I'm wrong). She is an incredibly hard girl to read. I also know I've exhibited a lot of Beta male actions on behalf of my part, so any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time and attention and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is this situation recoverable? Feedback Appreciated!

    What a fucking trainwreck, you got a good basis to evolve, because you only need to avoid doing almost everything you did.

    ""what would you do if I liked you?"" never ask this.
    Never tell a girl you like her. Show you like her if she shows she's interest in you. I mean, if she gives you a sign of interest, you reward it with a sign of interest of your own.

    " I tried taking off her shoes, and she would playfully hit me, etc. I told her "you're no fun", and she would reply with "I'm loads of fun" with a smile on her face."

    She wanted you to make a move. She told you to sleep wherever you want. You picked the couch and then she said she wanted to sleep there. She was busting your balls. She kept busting your balls with the hitting and etc, it's called flirting. You were a pussy.

    You're asking if you have a second chance with her? Your second chance was on the couch. Sarge other girls, maybe a couple of months from now you can game this girl again, but not now.
    Best of luck!

  3. #3
    DamianStitch is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is this situation recoverable? Feedback Appreciated!

    Nothing I can add here except that my balls crawled further up my stomach with each sentence. I now have a double-chin.

  4. #4
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    TPix is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Is this situation recoverable? Feedback Appreciated!

    If you can pull it off you can always turn things into jokes. "Oh you werent one of those girls?". This can be bit risky though cause no girl wants to be called slut.

    For me you seem like Mr.Nice Guy, maybe you should test your boundaries with some girl? I mean not to turn jerk but just not explaining why you do everything and how its effecting others, just fking do what you want and see how they react.

  5. #5
    Banners90's Avatar
    Banners90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Is this situation recoverable? Feedback Appreciated!

    I must concur with most critiques here, I do think however when you said this it kind of went south from here onwards;
    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemist26 View Post
    She told me if I was 26 that she would date me. The entire time, I did not attempt to change her mind; I explicitly told her that it's up to her to decide what's best for her, and that was that.
    In my experience you're giving her instant control of the situation. I would have at least joked about it to try and convince her otherwise.


    You probably could still turn it around. Text her something random. Nothing to do with anything that has happened between you to engage her. I find that random facts are a fun way of getting things going. If she doesn't bite probably best to move forward.
    PER ARDUA AD ALTA


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