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  • 1 Post By dave_xxx
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Thread: Hitting a brick wall when talking to boring girl

  1. #1
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Hitting a brick wall when talking to boring girl

    About 6 months ago I had my first same-night smash with a girl who's also the hottest girl I've ever been with (Easily an 8.5). She lives north of the border in Canada but makes trips to my city every once in a while. We talk on Facebook maybe once every couple weeks, but I feel like I hit a wall with her. We have some common interests we can talk about, but she's just....I dunno....Hard to get a rise out of.

    I feel like I have to do all of the heavy lifting. I do playful teasing and some negging and she always responds to my texts and IMs (Good sign) but doesn't have much to offer conversationally. If Miss Utah taught us anything in that cringeworthy video that's going around Youtube it's that good looking girls can coast on their looks without having to offer much in the way of personality. It just feels like small talk more than anything else. And it's not exactly easy to talk about meeting up since she has to travel long distances to get here.

    Do you guys have any tips? Should I next her? Talk more about meeting up (She does most of her traveling when she has a break from school)?

  2. #2
    FlyNhigH is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Hitting a brick wall when talking to boring girl

    I got a doctors number a couple weeks ago at the club, I always wanted to date a doctor, but I start trying to chat it up with her and she has the personality of a door knob. She couldn't understand I was trying to play around with her, she probably is still trying to figure it out.

    I guess there has to be an attraction factor on either side, and for me it's just not there.

  3. #3
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hitting a brick wall when talking to boring girl

    Freeze her out. She knows how to find you when she visits NYC. The more you chase her the less she wants you.

    Send her one last text and say something like, " Damn, all you female Canucks (nickname for Canadians) are the ones I keep meeting in NYC. Are they deporting you all here?

    After that freeze her out until she replies back. Only reply back with a message that is about as lengthy as hers.

    If it's really short lie "LOL", "really?", "too funny" etc. Then do NOT reply back.

    Do NOT look needy ever to this female or any other female. Make it seemlike it' her loss.

    If she doesn't reply I hope you know what that means.

  4. #4
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hitting a brick wall when talking to boring girl

    Quote Originally Posted by dave_xxx View Post
    Freeze her out. She knows how to find you when she visits NYC. The more you chase her the less she wants you.

    Send her one last text and say something like, " Damn, all you female Canucks (nickname for Canadians) are the ones I keep meeting in NYC. Are they deporting you all here?

    After that freeze her out until she replies back. Only reply back with a message that is about as lengthy as hers.

    If it's really short lie "LOL", "really?", "too funny" etc. Then do NOT reply back.

    Do NOT look needy ever to this female or any other female. Make it seemlike it' her loss.

    If she doesn't reply I hope you know what that means.
    Awesome idea, I'll try it out next week. On Sunday or Monday I'm planning to go to the bar I met her at - I'm thinking that if I mentioned I met these supposed Canucks there it could create jealousy and get her wondering about who they were, what I did with them, etc.

  5. #5
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hitting a brick wall when talking to boring girl

    Bumping this for more feedback.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Hitting a brick wall when talking to boring girl

    This is a bit of a double edge sword I've noticed...

    As PUA's we recognize the importance of being unique and different from the countless other men that approach and game her. So we exercise our unique clever conversations to make ourselves noticeable to her. But I can't help but feel that this is coming from the same frame that every other AFC has on their mind...

    That we have to impress her to keep her attention, rather than her impress us.

    Now this is just my personal opinion and is definitely up for debate. I'm not saying that I don't like be clever in order to make myself unique in her eyes, but I'm always going with the flow and let the dynamic shift here and there. I feel that if I am constantly trying to be clever with her that not only am I not giving her the breathing room to express herself in conversation, but that I eventually become a dancing monkey who constantly has to work to keep her attention.

    I've gotten some great responses from women by only saying "Wow" "Lol" or "Yep" all at the right moment.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Hitting a brick wall when talking to boring girl

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    This is a bit of a double edge sword I've noticed...

    As PUA's we recognize the importance of being unique and different from the countless other men that approach and game her. So we exercise our unique clever conversations to make ourselves noticeable to her. But I can't help but feel that this is coming from the same frame that every other AFC has on their mind...

    That we have to impress her to keep her attention, rather than her impress us.

    Now this is just my personal opinion and is definitely up for debate. I'm not saying that I don't like be clever in order to make myself unique in her eyes, but I'm always going with the flow and let the dynamic shift here and there. I feel that if I am constantly trying to be clever with her that not only am I not giving her the breathing room to express herself in conversation, but that I eventually become a dancing monkey who constantly has to work to keep her attention.

    I've gotten some great responses from women by only saying "Wow" "Lol" or "Yep" all at the right moment.
    Excellent point. Someone once told me that the hotter a chick is, the more she sits. If you think about it, the hotter the chick the more impractical the clothing and the higher the heels (Making walking hard), and the more she has people coming to her. When I go to a bar I always notice the hot chicks sitting in booths in the back while the average girls and uggos stand at the bar in the front and interact with people. The uggos will come up to you, but you have to go to the hot ones. The hotter girls are almost always glued to their phones, no doubt responding to texts, Facebook messages, Tweets, etc. from people contacting HER, not the other way around. I've always seen it as a good sign when a girl at least establishes contact with you because it shows interest. Or, like the last time I talked to the Canadian, I asked a question as a joke, she gave a boring answer, and I dropped out of the conversation - An hour later she texted me again, anxious to know what the answer to the question was.

    My biggest problem is that I lean towards being an intellectual. I love reading, learning, creating, building things, etc. I have guy friends over and we don't talk about dumb TV shows or sports, we talk about art and politics and and science and religion, really deep stuff. To go back to the Miss Utah analogy, hot girls don't need to be smart, they can coast by on their looks. When a girl is really dumb you have to tap into the primal parts of your brain that are basically just about food and farking. This Canadian isn't dumb, but I don't think she's had to develop much social skills when everyone is bending over backwards to want to be with her. I tend to use cocky humor and sarcasm, but I think it goes over her head a lot. I guess you just have to experiment and find some common ground for understanding of jokes and conversation. It's really easy to be too boring, and it's really easy to go full Robin Williams in trying to impress her.

    Mirroring is a good tool for dealing with conversations, kino, etc. in person or through text. During courtship she'll set the tone of the interaction. You can take control, but you still have to be on the same wavelength to make a connection.


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