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  • 2 Post By Dizzie

Thread: Freezing out to recover from mistakes?

  1. #1
    plove2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Freezing out to recover from mistakes?

    So spent time with the girl I like and today just went to crap. The conversation just wasn't flowing like it normally does. I couldn't make any real rapport and it almost felt as if she were doing me a favor.
    I thought it'll be best if I can get to a high point and then use a time constraint to get out of there. The problem was a high point never came, then I began to panic and began to slip back into "nice guy" mode (my default setting for 20 years), asking boring questions trying to make jokes which got no reaction until I decided I need to get out of there.

    I like this girl but I decided to go out with some friends tonight to get my mind back in place that she's just one of many and I shouldn't give a frack about what she thought of today.

    I at least don't have the urge to try to fix this and apologize (which is something I would have done in the past). So my question is, in this kind of situation would freezing her out for a few days be a good thing?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Freezing out to recover from mistakes?

    Sounds like you have the right attitude man. Keep working on that abundance mentality and any time you do an approach or get a date, you are adding experience (no matter how bad it goes). You will adapt and do better next time. I don't like freeze outs from the perspective of 'you are punishing her because you bored her to death'. Take some time off from her but use it to approach and talk to other women. Next time you talk to her, make sure you are not coming from a needy place. Don't apologize for anything and don't make excuses for the date or your behaviour. Act as if everything is going according to plan. If she is cold with you, DON'T CHASE her. Move on instead. Time heals everything and she might be up for a hang out again in the future if you don't emotionally overreach or bore her. Good luck.

  3. #3
    Shadowstorm is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Freezing out to recover from mistakes?

    Just as Dizzie said, freezing her out is more of a push/pull tactic to get her to commit to something and stop flaking, or maybe if you sent one or two too many texts trying to set up a date, rather than a reset button to cover something you screwed up.

    If you two meet up somewhere unrelated (school, work, yoga, whatever) then definitely start over at being funny. Humor is the easiest (and at the same time, hardest) way to get a woman's attention. If you can make her laugh, she will forget the mediocre date and want more humor from you.

    Whatever you do though, leave her wanting more. You're using humor to build her interest. The harder she laughs, the higher her interest. If her laughter dies down because you can't keep up the funny, her interest will also drop. Before that happens, transition into emotion. This is the deeper conversation one would have during a date where you get to know each other and establish a connection. It's alright to still use humor at this point, but you need to be feeding her something more substantial as well.

    At that point you should be good to ask for another date. Don't rush anything, take your time, don't sound desperate and don't try and force any contact with her.

    Hope this helps, and good luck with your second chance!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Freezing out to recover from mistakes?

    I'd use push/pull. It's about affecting her emotions right? Well if it's dull then use push/pull. The easiest way to keep track is everything you say/do something nice then take it away.

    Say one thing, do another. Tell her you'll call her right back. Then contact her two days later. Tell her she's alot of fun, then say you two wouldn't work cause you'd argue all the time. Pull her close while looking into her eyes and say she's a troublemaker and you don't know what game she's playing. Then push her away and do something else lol.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
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    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Freezing out to recover from mistakes?

    freeze out and do a complete re-do with push-pull like everyone says?
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