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  • 1 Post By cesar3003
  • 3 Post By meteora

Thread: The long story of my rejections

  1. #1
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default The long story of my rejections

    Hi gurus,
    I don't want to be negative but the fact is that when I started Day Game (and direct approach which is the only thing I really know) I got a few numbers and went on a few dates and ended up dating a really cute girl for 2 months. Since I met that girl I did not stop approaching (even though I just did it on the weekends) but since then I just could not get even one number!

    I have asked a couple of coaches in Sydney to observe me and tell me what do I do wrong but they all do your approaches are impeccable! If they are flawless then why the heck girls refuse me?

    I cannot ask you to tell me what's wrong because it's impossible without seeing me but can you make some guesses please? my mind has gone blank!

    cheers

  2. #2
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    I've got an idea, perhaps you have already subconsciously built some feelings towards that cute girl you're dating and that holds you back ?
    English is my second language

  3. #3
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    Quote Originally Posted by cesar3003 View Post
    I've got an idea, perhaps you have already subconsciously built some feelings towards that cute girl you're dating and that holds you back ?
    You are right but I think it was for the first few days. Now I am over it and I open sets to get number and f-close.

    I have heard that 30% success rate is normal but mine recently has been 0.5% ! I wish someone could record my approach and so I could show it to you

  4. #4
    Dizzie's Avatar
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    Keep doing your approaches man. Leaving the computer and actually meeting women is a big first step. Now as for your consistent rejections, these things take time. There are a lot of reasons why they could be going wrong. More information is required otherwise everyone is going to be taking random guesses. I would also question the capabilities of these coaches if you did not receive any constructive feedback. A few things to consider:

    -how many approaches a week are you doing?
    -Give examples of the kind of openers you are actually using? Even if its just "Hello"
    -Are you groomed/well dressed, clean looking when you go out?
    -Whats the typical dialog like after the opener?

    The more information you give us, the better we can narrow it down. I also recommend you start audio recording your interactions on your cell phone. You'll start picking up on your own mistakes a lot better. Cheers!

  5. #5
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    Thanks so much Dizzi,

    I have crossed check what the coaches teach with each other and with the things I find on the Internet and they sound OK.

    1- I approach 5-6 women on Saturday and 5-6 other ones on Sunday. Only 2 or 3 approaches during the week because where I work it's hard to find women!

    2- I approach directly. Maybe I need to do indirect but I have not learned it to be honest. When I approach I try to open from the front and with proper distance to the target. Then I say something like "Excuse me.. Hi.. I know this is quite random but I saw you from over there and I found you very pretty so I had to come and meet you". Sometimes I say "Hi.. I saw you in xxx and I found you very attractive. I would be kicking myself the whole day if I did not come and meet you".

    Sometimes I said "I hope you dont mind" at the end but then I thought it would lower my value. do the openers sound ok?

    3- I am perfectly groomed and well dressed. People usually look at me wen I go out. There is a cafe where I go and buy coffee every day. Once their barrister said "you always smell so nice, always. I like you!". I have asked a good hairdresser to do my hair and now my hair looks much better.

    4- Transition from the opener sounds to be an sticking point although I have improved it a bit. Usually if the target has an accent I ask about their background and relate it to whatever I know about it or about their travelling etc. Sometimes I ask about their work and I ask what do they like about it? I also tell them what I do and what I like etc. Yesterday I talked to a HB 8, she responded positively and talked to me but then she said she did not want to give her number!

    People say I look a bit serious. Do you think it can be a deal breaker? If yes, what can I do about it?

  6. #6
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    It all sounds good to me Aussie, regarding looking serious, smile more man! do not wear dark and dull colours, and yes it could be a deal breaker. Girls love funny, not boring guys. Up until a few weeks ago I was thinking of myself like I am a serious guy but decided to change it, smile more, laugh more, talk to people, not taking life too seriously anymore and I already see some effects
    English is my second language

  7. #7
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    On Opening
    Regardless of what some guys will tell you, those are pretty standard day game openers. I have used these before with varying degrees of mixed results but I personally prefer indirect. However, i have a friend who is really good with direct approaches and he gets consistent numbers from day game. The biggest thing about direct openers is not so much what you say, its how you say it. Your voice needs to project strong confidence and your body language needs to match as well. You can't sound needy at all. The beauty of approaching a woman directly during the day is that it's actually a DHV when done correctly and confidently. You are showing her your intent right away and that takes balls. This is where the audio recorder will come in handy. You will be able to analyze your voice and pick up on little things you are doing wrong.

    Transitioning After the Opener

    YOU SAID "Sometimes I ask about their work and I ask what do they like about it? I also tell them what I do and what I like etc. "

    This is rapport building material. You are likely boring her to death by asking her these questions this early in the interaction when your attraction levels are low. Most guys talk to women like this so you are not being different. Here are a few basics to consider:

    -You need to get her laughing, what ever her answers are to your questions, start lightly teasing her and misinterpreting her
    -Have a cool/funny reason for why you are out in the first place. Obviously if you are in a book store or grocery store you are not going to say you are looking for parts for your rocket ship. Try to be creative though.
    -Have a couple of good stories before you leave the house that you can launch into. So after the opener you can transition into "OMG you won't believe what I saw on the way here....", or "The craziest thing happened to me last night...".
    -In day game, women are not drunk either like in night game so they will be able to read you much better. Mistakes are also more costly. A high quality woman will be able to tell whether you have your sh*t together and are living an inspired life. If you have inner game/Identity issues, I strongly suggest you work on these areas.

    Good Luck,

    -Dizzie

  8. #8
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    I believe your problem is not about method, but rather its about your "intent" before you met this girl your approaches were wholehearted and sincere, but subconsciously your intent has changed for "lets find a cute girl to date" to "I have found a cute girl I really like and I could care less about these girls who i'm approaching"

    all your willpower is now focused on the girl your dating and thus these girls you talk to get the vibe that you are only talking to them to get in their pants (because your body language is subtly giving off your intent)

    the solution is simple, commit wholeheartedly to the girl you've been seeing, (its the only move that is congruent with your intent) some people might say its beta to commit to a girl, but if she is what you truly desire and you are unafraid to go for her wholeheartedly then she will appreciate that you are a man of ambition, a man who goes after what he truly wants and pursues it relentlessly.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    Meteora! I absolutely love your response. It's what I was thinking, but couldn't word it right. I would also like to add:

    Indirect and direct are categorized as low risk/low reward and high risk/high reward. With direct game it's almost has NOTHING to do with what you're actually saying. It's all in the body language and tonality. That's why if you aren't being 100% sincere about the approach it will be off, since you chose direct, and your body language or tonality will betray you.

    Now I'd like to clarify something. I'm more of a night game person than a day game. That's one of the things I'm working on. But I have done some day approaches and there are certain things I keep in mind. I'm sure you already know this, but even I sometimes forget the basics and have to be reminded.

    - Good eye contact (this is probably the most important thing)

    - Body rock (if it's during the day and she looks busy then you should look like you have to be somewhere as well)

    - Speak slow and clear. Almost hypnotic.

    Vin Di Carlo said his best approaches were when he only spent two min with the women before the number close. The reason is that the woman's imagination will fill in the gaps of what kind of guy you are. So if you leave a really good impression and she doesn't know anything about you, once you're gone, she will idealize you as "the perfect man" according to what she likes. And no matter what you tell her, she can always imagine something better. You know this if you have ever got so hung up on a girl, but then found out later she was a bitch lol. So let her imagination do the work for you and keep the interactions short. It's something to try, right?
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  10. #10
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The long story of my rejections

    Thanks so much guys for your helpful tips.

    That cute girl that I dated for a couple of months left Australia for good just around ten days ago so I am really and sincerely looking for another cute girl to date.

    I think conversation after the opener is my problem. Talking about work sounds boring but I think the accent/background one is good because I speak 4-5 languages and in case the target can speak any of them I will be able to make good rapport.

    I will go out this weekend and put all your recommendations in practice.

    I've got two questions here:

    1- Is there a good resource to learn indirect approach? The guy who coached me does not teach me indirect approach (maybe because he does not). If it's a safer option maybe I should begin with it?

    2- When I am with friends and colleges I am totally a fun person. All my friends say to me that I need to maintain that smile at all times but for some unknown reasons I lose it when I am on my own! I think my success rate will increase if I can have that smile with me when I approach. Any tips for this one?


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