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  1. #1
    Harper is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I negged her not realizing she actually has a speech impediment. Help!

    There is a HB9 I have seen a few times at my neighborhood sports bar. She has given me an IOI on more then one occasion so the other day I approached. My opener went perfect, I was being cocky and funny and making her laugh. Then I messed up. While talking she stuttered a little and I negged her about it, saying how it was funny that a plain girl like her (which she is actually not) gets nervous and stutters around good looking guys. She got cold and turned and walked away. I took a few steps to catch up with her and saw she was crying. She said how she can't help that she stutters sometimes and ran away. I found out from the bartender (who now probably thinks I'm a jerk) that she has a speech impediment and does stutter.

    I feel like such a tool. I really and truly did not mean to offend or hurt her. I saw her a few days later and tried to apologize but she told me off. I tried to send a drink and an apology note but she sent them back. I feel so bad and just want to make this right but I have NO idea how to do it.

  2. #2
    dannov is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I negged her not realizing she actually has a speech impediment. Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Harper View Post
    There is a HB9 I have seen a few times at my neighborhood sports bar. She has given me an IOI on more then one occasion so the other day I approached. My opener went perfect, I was being cocky and funny and making her laugh. Then I messed up. While talking she stuttered a little and I negged her about it, saying how it was funny that a plain girl like her (which she is actually not) gets nervous and stutters around good looking guys. She got cold and turned and walked away. I took a few steps to catch up with her and saw she was crying. She said how she can't help that she stutters sometimes and ran away. I found out from the bartender (who now probably thinks I'm a jerk) that she has a speech impediment and does stutter.

    I feel like such a tool. I really and truly did not mean to offend or hurt her. I saw her a few days later and tried to apologize but she told me off. I tried to send a drink and an apology note but she sent them back. I feel so bad and just want to make this right but I have NO idea how to do it.
    Forget about it and move on. Lesson learned, right? This negging shit gets more men in trouble than it helps. Instead of trying to knock the girl down a peg below you to show value, why not be genuine and passionate so that the lady that you're talking to feels like she has a higher value by being around such an awesome guy?

    Buy this girl a Ferrari, and in her subconscious, you're still a dick because you revealed your "true colors" to her. Even if she didn't have a speech impediment, she now "knows" how you feel towards people WITH speech impediments, and anything you say from that point forward is just backpedalling and lying to her--in one word: manipulation. Abandon ship, and swim back to shore. Plenty more out there.

  3. #3
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I negged her not realizing she actually has a speech impediment. Help!

    This should seem fairly self evident, you've been a d1ck (inadvertently) so just apologise and explain and move on from there.

    Why didn't you ask her what was wrong when she started crying? You could have apologised told her you'd made an ass of yourself and offer a conciliatory hug (kino).

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I negged her not realizing she actually has a speech impediment. Help!

    Well I feel you've already lost this one, but I don't see the big deal. So you fucked up. Whoopdee fucking doo. I tell guys all the time that it's not about making mistakes. It's about what you do AFTER. And what did you do? Kiss her ass and tried apologizing.

    Now, I'm not saying she doesn't deserve something from you. But not for you to scramble and try and pick up the pieces. Just be cool and realize you fucked up. It's not your fault cause you obviously wouldn't have said anything if you knew. Here's what I'd say:

    "Wait....are you for real? (with a confused smile) Wow. Guess I'm going to hell for that one. Oh. You hear that? I think the devil just reserved my seat. He can be such a gentleman sometimes."

    When you get the chance change the subject. Don't stay on it. Change her mood, not her mind.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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