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  • 1 Post By Lex S

Thread: The one you can't have

  1. #1
    MFalcon25 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default The one you can't have

    I have a question for everyone out there. I've read countless forums and advice on how to get over a oneitis and possibly get her back later on. Have any of you actually done this, how long did it take you? What did you do. There is a woman in my social circle, whom i became friends with and tried in futility to game, she friendzoned me immediately and refused to be anything more than so. Eventually, I came on too strong and she became angry at me, calling me a creep and stalker. I've followed the forums and have backed off and cut off all access. Do i still have a chance with her, or is she one that i can never have. Are there woman that some guys just can't have no matter what techniques they try?

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: The one you can't have

    I use to have one-itis 20 years ago when I was in college for a girl. Like you I came on too strong and made the mistake of creeping her out.

    Once you rid yourself of one-itis and even go as far as establishing an alpha frame, chances are that you will not even think of her. At best, you will look back and think how silly I was! And thinking back, I wouldn't want them anyway right now.

    To answer your question, there are women out there that you won't get no matter how good you are at the game, and to tell you the truth, when you really get to know them, you probably wouldn't want them anyways. What it comes down to is chemistry and making a connection, compatibility and finding things you have in common. You either got it or you don't. It's not something you can force.

    For some folks, mastering the art is a way to find that someone ultimately. It increases your chance to get through an HBs bitch shield to see if that person is compatible with you when she would normally shut the typical chump down.

    You just got to remember not to put any woman on a pedestal and devalue yourself. You are the prize.

    Just remember, for every gorgeous woman you want, there's a guy out there who is sick of her.

  3. #3
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The one you can't have

    Hmm I don't know if this will suit your case but I'll add my bits.

    I had this chick and I was obsessed with her, but she knows about this PUA stuff and she figured it out I was gaming her. So she openly rejected me, I cut her loose for a while and later on, implemented a different approach just for her.

    I intentionally went full AFC with her since regular PUA techniques won't work. In the end, we never dated, (I was slightly disappointed and what not, but not anymore) but as of today we are very good friends and she's probably the best wing I have, better than most dudes I bet.

    Good luck,
    Wolf.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  4. #4
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The one you can't have

    all of us had a one-itis before and it hurt when you see the girl you want but cant have due to AFC behaviors. like I.M.Mortal said it before, just leave her all together before she loses total respect for you or worse, call the cops on you. By the way, when you get your game right where it needs to be, you wouldn't even be thinking about her anyways.
    Good luck!!
    Nikee --Just did it--

  5. #5
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The one you can't have

    It's tough, but sometimes if you're rejected it's just not meant to be. I dated a girl for 2 years, and when we split I became a MASSIVE AFC and tried to find any way I could to get her back for the next 6 months. I felt incomplete and thought all I needed in my life was her.

    Then I began working out and building my confidence and studying relationships and courtship (I didn't delve fully into Game at this point). I soon found I was having better luck with women than I did before her (She was only my 2nd in 24 years, after we split I was with 4 or 5 girls in the next year), and I realized that devoting all of your emotions to one person is bullshit - If they leave then you have nothing left.

    Maybe you can get with her if enough time passes and you work on yourself. But as much as it sucks, just consider her gone. If you guys are meant to be then she'll come back when she sees the newer, fitter, more confident you.

  6. #6
    MFalcon25 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The one you can't have

    That's basically the same advice i've heard all around, and i'm currently doing everything possible to follow it. There is however, one snag. She is very much a part of my social circle. She is very fun and charismatic, and all my friends are friends with her. It's very difficult to avoid her, since it would mean having to avoid hanging out with my friends. So I do have to be around her, and that's what is making it difficult. I need to know what to do while being around her. Thanks all for the great replies and all the advice, i'm loving all the support.

  7. #7
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: The one you can't have

    Quote Originally Posted by MFalcon25 View Post
    That's basically the same advice i've heard all around, and i'm currently doing everything possible to follow it. There is however, one snag. She is very much a part of my social circle. She is very fun and charismatic, and all my friends are friends with her. It's very difficult to avoid her, since it would mean having to avoid hanging out with my friends. So I do have to be around her, and that's what is making it difficult. I need to know what to do while being around her. Thanks all for the great replies and all the advice, i'm loving all the support.
    Be calm and cool and don't act like her rejection is bugging you. If you guys have to hang out together then talk to her if she talks to you, but otherwise keep the interactions short. Keep improving yourself, too, not for her but for your own benefit and for any potential girls you meet.

    And it also doesn't hurt to hit on other girls around her. If your group is hanging out and she's there try inviting any girls you may know. Contrary to what most people will have you believe, women are actually turned on by a guy who's good with women and is surrounded by them because it shows high status.

  8. #8
    MFalcon25 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The one you can't have

    I have a long way to go, but I just recently got a job, after being unemployed for more than a year. Also i'm working on my weight, I am a big dude, and have been for most of my life. I'm also working on my self esteem. I like the idea of bringing in girls in with me to the group, to show my higher value to her. Although, there is another guy in the group that is sort of an Alpha male and he's always hanging with hot girls, and he's able to hold everyone's attention with stories and such, hard to compete with him. I know i can do it, it's my impatience that is getting to me

  9. #9
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: The one you can't have

    Oh man, this sounds just like the situation when I was in college. My good friend was the life of the party, funny, flirty, playful and women were attracted to him. Pretty much stole the show.

    Like you, the girl was in the same social circle and we had the same friends.

    The real killer was when another girl told my friend "Hey XXX, why do you even hang out with [me], you guys are totally different." Although, he defended me, this was a harsh wake up call and one of the few things that spurred me to action and I transformed 180.

    So I feel your situation.

    Here's what I recommend. If you are really serious, get your confidence up (the corner stone of attraction), work on getting girls outside of your social circle that none of your friends know and bring them out with you.

    I even went as far as moving to a different state. And whenever I return, I bring my hot gfs that I met elsewhere with me to increase my status. There is a saying that "beautiful women attract beautiful women." If that girl sees you with other beautiful women, she will begin to wonder what you got. It works wonders.

    It may be a long shot to hold a light to that alpha, but don't worry, work on your own game elsewhere. Focus on yourself first.

    Patience is also something you will have to deal with. Confidence is not something you are born with. It's earned.

  10. #10
    MFalcon25 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Thumbs up Re: The one you can't have

    That's awesome advice, not sure about moving out of state, but i see where you're going with it. I need to build my confidence up, already working on that, losing the weight i have will certainly go along way with that. Then going out and getting girls, to build her interest. I can understand in that once i'm with better girls my interest in her will probably dwindle. I still like her a ton, and we've opened up alot to each other, before all this fell apart. So i feel like i may still want her even after all this. Time will tell, and it's going to take a ton of work on my part. I've taken small steps so far, but i know i'm moving in the right direction. It's just the fact that i have to be around her, that messes me up. She's not higher than a 7, but honestly to me she's a 10. I really appreciate all the advice that's been given, and maybe i may open a blog to notate my experiences and keep the PUA community informed of my progress.


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