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  1. #1
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default How to close a date successfully?

    Hi gurus,

    I have a very old issue that is actually the reason I decide to learn PUA stuff. Unfortunately that problem is still there, quite untouched!

    The biggest problem that I have is failing to seduce/attract women on dates. I even had this issue when I was doing online dating a few months ago. I could attract women very easily through writings to a level that they usually asked me out! But after the date they just said "I did not feel the connection" or "I did not feel the spark".

    Yesterday I picked up a HB10 and took her to an instant date. She was an air hostess working for Qantas, and a model. Even though during the date I made her laugh and we had a good conversation after the date she just said "it was great to meet you too." and did not respond afterwards.

    I need to know how to attract/seduce a woman on a date? How to kino without looking creepy or sleazy? There is no couch in 95% of cafes in Sydney and so it's hard to touch women when on dates.

    Please help me with that one. If I fix this then my success rate will jump up dramatically.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to close a date successfully?

    Your writing gets you women. You are able to approach and get dates. Your problem lies somewhere after that and you will need to analyze it. Without knowing exactly what you do you won't get proper advice here on this site.

    On your dates:

    1/ What is your body language like?

    2/ What is your tonality? It not just what you say, it's HOW you say it.

    3/ Do you DHV and look needy during the date?

    4/ Are using push/ pull?

    5/ Are you building attraction?

    6/ Kino?

    7/ Are you escalating? Calibrating? increasing escalation? Calibrating?

    8/ Are you reading the IOIs correctly?

    Somewhere in the game you are losing them. The best way is to think back, analyze where and when she stopped giving you the IOIs. It's usually at that point in the game where you went off track. Correct that and you will be fine.

  3. #3
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to close a date successfully?

    Thanks Dave,

    As you said I think I have to fix the dating issue before anything else. I won't go anywhere if I get dates after dates but I blow them.

    In regards to your questions:

    1- I have an open and relaxed body language. I make eye contact and engage the conversation. Yesterday when I was with that hot chick I even made jokes with the waitresses and made them laugh.

    2- I am not sure about tonality. In general my voice is very soft, but it's heard I think.

    3- I don't think I look needy. I somehow make it clear for them that I have access to women so I don't need them even though I might want them. The fact that the woman on the date has been picked up by me must proof that I don't need her. By the way I never say or act in anyway that indicates neediness. How can I demonstrate higher value during the date?

    4- No I don't do Push/Pull. Please help with this one.

    5- I don't think I am building attraction. If I could, I would not fail the dates. Please advise me on this

    6- I don't do Kino because in cafes there is rarely a couch. I and the girl sit at a table. It's really hard to touch without coming across as creepy/sleazy. Yesterday I said "I like your rings. are those diamonds real?". then I grabbed her hands but did not do it for more than a few seconds. she was comfortable with it.

    7- No I don't escalate. It's the first time I hear "Calibrating" term :-)) How can I escalate? should I talk sexy or what? would you please give me some references so I can read/watch about this topic?

    8- I know the IOIs but normally on dates women come to see if I am a weirdo or a trustworthy person! It might be different int he US but in Sydney, to women every man is a weirdo by default unless otherwise! So as long as a woman is engaged in conversation and asks questions etc I assume there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Yesterday she asked many questions , told about herself, showed me photos on her iPhone etc. At the end she kissed me in the chick and then send me a kiss (as in kissing her hand and throwing the kiss to me). I was 100% sure that I was close to her bedroom but sounds like I was not :-))

    Please help me with this

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How to close a date successfully?

    Reading IOIs a general list when in the field:

    *She re-initiates conversations when you stop talking
    *She giggles
    *She touches you
    *She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
    *She looks back and glances at you repeatedly ever minute or so
    *She tosses her hair (to see if you will look)
    *If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
    *She smiles at you
    *She stands nearby (proximity)
    *She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said
    *While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you
    *She says something to her friend and they both giggle
    *She asks you for a light or the time or in any way initiates a conversation
    *While you're talking to her group, she is particularly talkative (to get your attention)
    *She asks you for your name
    *She asks you your age
    *She compliments you
    *She is playful and tries to challenge you
    *She's disagreeing but laughing
    *She's punching your arm but laughing
    *She uses nicknames for you
    *She plays with her hair while talking to you
    *When she is sitting next to you her leg touches yours
    *She repeatedly touches you in any way
    *She asks if you have a girlfriend
    *She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one
    *When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
    *She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when she speaks with you
    *She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
    *If it comes up that you like something, she mentions that she likes it, too, or needs someone to show her how to do it
    *When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction
    *She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking
    *She introduces you to friends
    *She buys you a drink
    *She calls you a player or a heartbreaker
    *On her way out, she re-approaches you to tell you that she is leaving
    *On your way out, she asks you where you are going
    *She returns your calls
    *She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have isolation with you

    Passive IOIs :

    *Her friends go (to the bathroom or bar or dancing) but she stays
    *She moves to see you and hangs with you for extended periods
    *If you move, she follows you or waits for you
    *She doesn't flinch or pull back if you happen to get too close
    *She doesn't resist when you escalate physically (or she gives token resistance to avoid feeling like a slut)


    The most important IOIs to look for are:

    *She re-initiates conversation when you stop talking
    *She giggles
    *She touches you
    *She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
    *She mirrors your body language
    *She is shy, doesn't speak, can't make/maintain eye contact
    *She gets the DIHL look
    *She preens (adjusts clothes, hair, checks herself in mirror)



    DHV stories:

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...v-stories.html

    Push / pull :

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...push-pull.html

  5. #5
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to close a date successfully?

    Thanks so much Dave. I will check the lings you've provided. Why reading the IOIs is important during a date?

  6. #6
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to close a date successfully?

    Thanks guys again,

    I have decided to learn things step by step so for now I've focused on having some good DHV stories in my pocket. I have prepared some DHV stories and the good thing about them is that they are my real life stories and I just have made them look a bit more exciting.

    Today I had another date with a pretty girl. I told her all my stories, one after the other, and she was constantly saying wow how interesting! She asked many questions too which means she was really interested.

    Although that date was much better than my previous dates, I could not Kino at all. I sat on the chair which was next to hers but she had put her hands between her legs (she was cold - it's winter in Australia now!). She had put on a leather jacket with scarf too. I did not know how to touch her without seeming creepy. Can you guys please give me some tips as to how can I do kino on a date ?

    thanks again for your help, I am already seeing improvements in my dates

  7. #7
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to close a date successfully?

    In that situation say, " Hey, how cold can your hands be?" It gives you an excuse to touch her hand. Your warm hands will comfort her cold hands.

    Tell her that her skin feels soft and ask her what kind of a lotion/soap she uses to get the skin so soft and smooth.

    When you feel the skin on her hands and the arm that's a start to the kino. Then calibrate how it's going. If it's going well then continue to escalate.

    The more you use the DHV stories the better you will get at getting the positive responses and IOIs. Try not to tell the DHV stories one right after another. Make it look like natural, as if the conversation just went to the DHV story on it's own even though you are guiding it there.

  8. #8
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to close a date successfully?

    Thanks Dave,
    I will work more on DHV stories to have a bunch of stories for different situations. However, I read somewhere that the entire interaction during the date must be fun and flirty. Does the flirt thing happen while saying the stories or it must happen in another way. how can I be fun/flirty on a date?

    Also, apart from DHV Stories & Kino what else I need to learn to have a good chance of closing my dates successfully?

  9. #9
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to close a date successfully?

    .. and one more question.. what is the best "wait" time after the first date to text/call the girl and let her know that I want to meet her again? what would be the best way to say it?


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