Re: Second date at her place, good idea or no?
Go for it. Besides, you don't NEED to have sex with her. There is no such rule that says: "You must have sex with her when you're at her place." Even if there was, you don't need to follow it.
Listen to your gut about what you want to do. Sex is one of the best "exercises" to get to know a person. But if you'll be nervous and needy while pushing for it, then don't push for it. Go with the flow, relax and have fun. Other way around, if she pushes for it and you don't feel ready, there's nothing wrong about saying "no" given a proper reasoning. However, I wouldn't miss the chance.
It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.
It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.