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  1. #1
    HeavyMetalPUA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to tell when a girl is ACTUALLY busy?

    MPUAs,

    First off, thanks for your active presence in this forum. I speak for all of us when I say your advice doesn't just help us get laid, but helps us build better lives.

    I'll keep this short and simple. How can you tell, when soliciting a date, when a girl is ACTUALLY busy when she says she is? I've been on dates with around 50 different girls, and from my experience when she says she's busy she means one of the following:

    1) She's actually busy and wants to see you when she's free
    2) She just wants to be chased and has no intention on dating you
    3) She wants to be chased and wants you to WORK for it

    So when a girl texts "can't tonight, out with the girls blah blah," how can you test whether she's actually interested? Also, how can you keep asking a girl out without seeming needy?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to tell when a girl is ACTUALLY busy?

    Why do you care if she is or isn't really busy? Because either way it's her loss. You are the prize and she will be lucky if she gets to spend time with you. That has to be your attitude.

    Go find lots of other girls and make plans with them. Never depend on one girl. When you have many options you will see that the girls will naturally gravitate towards you. It will show in your confidence, body language and in the way you express yourself.

    Having an abundance of girls is a GREAT thing. Work towards that with your game.

  3. #3
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    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to tell when a girl is ACTUALLY busy?

    I don't think there's a way to tell if a girl's actually busy unless you ask her what she's doing and if she's lying about it( very needy). I just wait and ask another time but if she says she's busy just tell her to pick a date when she's free for you guys to hang out( puts the ball in her court and if she's interested she'll tell you a day and if she keeps on flaking just forget it and move on)
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  4. #4
    HeavyMetalPUA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to tell when a girl is ACTUALLY busy?

    Follow-up question: what's a good way to relay this alpha, IDGAF, you're-missing out-style mindset in a text message or phone call?

  5. #5
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to tell when a girl is ACTUALLY busy?

    Don't always reply right away to her text if you're busy with something else! Go live your life and don't wait for a girl to text you back to make your day( I'm guilty of that myself sometimes). ( it makes you very depressed when you actually don't get a text from the girl/women). Go out and live your life; if she texts good for her, if not go love your life don't let your life past you by because of a few words from a woman. Make her chase you too don't always chase her. If she says no too many times/flaking. Just say " hey I thought you was Cool and wanted to get to know you better but since that's not going to happen, have a nice life and enjoy every moment of it". Something like that would make give you a huge advantage even if she does leave.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  6. #6
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    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to tell when a girl is ACTUALLY busy?

    Quote Originally Posted by HeavyMetalPUA View Post
    Follow-up question: what's a good way to relay this alpha, IDGAF, you're-missing out-style mindset in a text message or phone call?
    First, I like to give women the benefit of the doubt, whether they're lying or not. You relay these qualities by not being needy. Once she flakes, just reframe it in some way to show that it doesn't bother you at all. Preferably in some funny form if you can. DON'T GET MAD or SAY SHE'S LYING. I also tend to give women 2 chances to meetup with me before I stop contacting them. 3 if they have REALLY good qualities I like. This displays that your life goes on, and this kind of stuff doesn't affect you.

  7. #7
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to tell when a girl is ACTUALLY busy?

    Quote Originally Posted by HeavyMetalPUA View Post
    Follow-up question: what's a good way to relay this alpha, IDGAF, you're-missing out-style mindset in a text message or phone call?
    - don't ever talk about the fact she flaked, don't even mention it

    - do your thing anyway, with a girl if possible, and make it sound awesome the next time you speak with her, still without mentioning she flaked

    example: this girl I'm interested in, see her at a party, invite her to get brunch the next morning

    next morning: she tells me she can't because she has a horrible hangover (which is probably true, considering how we got hammered the previous night).

    Quick, I text another girl: "Hey, I want to go get brunch this morning, with someone fun. Are you fun?" She replies she can't, because she's going to this beer festival with a friend. I text another girl, and she ends up being the friend the previous girl is going to the beer festival with. Damn.

    I text a last one, and hurrah, she can. We go get brunch, have fun, I chat her up, escalate, blah blah.

    And then, later in the day, I text the original girl, and the second one (not the third, because I know she's with the second), with "Oh God I went to the brunch with a friend, we saw the craziest thing haha. How was your thing?"

    If you calibrate correctly (don't insist too much on the fact you went with a girl, else you sound desperate), you should have good return. It's a basic "show don't tell situation". Don't tell her she's missing out, show her, and then she will feel it.
    Seduction is a martial art. Reading books and talking to experts is important, and helpful. But you won't progress unless you go out there and fight.


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