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  1. #1
    KStyl is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Girlfriend in contact with her ex again


    please allow me to introduce myself. I'm 27, male, new here but not a stranger to the pickup philosophy.

    My question is regarding my potential LTR. I've been seeing her for about a month now and everything's been great. It's long distance though, since she lives in Australia, while I currently live in Europe. We're both professionals in the music industry and we travel a lot and have the chance to see each other about once a month for 1 week or more, so it's not that bad. I actually prefer it this way, since I can focus on my work better this way. I'm very busy and try to make the best of my time. She herself is quite a famous and known singer/songwriter touring all over the world for usually periods of 1-2 weeks, having a lot of time off inbetween.
    As I mentioned, everything's been great, she respects me, no drama, very few sh1t tests, that I find easy to pass. She's also the stay at home kinda girl, doesn't party or drink much. I feel that she's in love with me, really wants a commited relationship and is already imagining our future together saying this is a very meaningful relationship to her. She's had 4-5 LTR before. Only one of them has been as serious and significant as she feels ours to be,

    So far so good, there's only one thing that has been bugging me a lot. When she visited me the first time, she got in contact with one of her high school friends who she told me is an aspiring filmmaker. And she told me they decided to make a film based on one of her works, which has been one of her lifetime dreams. This dream has never been fulfilled because of budget issues etc. but she's hoping to realize this project with this person together.
    Of course I was very happy for her until she told me that she used to date this guy in Highschool for a brief period of time. She told me she wanted to be open with me before entering a relationship with me and there not to be any things she might feel like I needed to know. She told me this while telling me other things about her interactions with other exes as well, who she has been in contact with, but which happened before I met her. She has cut off contact with those other exes since so I don't place any significance upon this.

    She has cheated on one of her former boyfriends with an ex, which I knew before, so I wasn't too happy to hear this. When I made it clear that I principally didn't like the thought of her spending so much time with an ex (this was exactly, what lead to her cheating on her former boyfriend, talking to her ex when things weren't going so well), she told me that she understood but that this project has been one of her big dreams and that she won't stop it. I know that her artists career is everything to her and of course I don't want to stand in the way of her fulfilling this dream.
    So I said I'd need to think about this, and we left it at that.

    A couple days ago we had a little misunderstanding about something that we didn't solve right away, but left with a not so nice feeling until the next day.
    She told me that she has been feeling insecure about her significance to me letting me know that she needs a confirmation of my commitment. So far we haven't been "official" since I still wanted to see how things go.
    I assured her that I wasn't looking for anything or anyone else, and that I was very happy with her.
    Then later, after a long talk, she tells me that she just had a long skype session (couple hours) with her friend about the film, though she didn't tell me what else they talked about.
    It made me feel uneasy that this happened after our "fight", so much that I even showed my insecurity asking if she doesn't think that this is exactly the pattern that lead to her cheating on her former boyfriend.
    She said it's not comparable, since we fight much less than she used to with her former boyfriend, but then later admitted that it did get her mind off our "issue" saying that it in fact is a little bit like what happened with her in the past.
    Of course she claims that she would never cheat on me and I also know that she has good intentions, as I said, other than this, she has only been good to me.

    So now my question: What do I do? Am I worrying too much? Should I trust her?

    Sorry for the long text and thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girlfriend in contact with her ex again

    you are not worrying too much.if you feel theres something wrong then ..
    It has already happened but are you willing to have this happen again.It all depends on you.its not really about trust its about what you wont take and the things you want for your life.
    measure this against your values and choose.

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