Honesty and Sarging. Are you a more honest person now that you are a PUA?
I want to start a discussion on the topic of honesty and sarging. I would like to put forward the idea that as a result of becoming a PUA that I am actually a more honest person and this has improved my life and the quality of my relationships with others .
Being honest is so important to me as a person, because growing up I experienced the pain and destruction that dishonesty of other people brought to myself and other people who were very close to me. So for me being honest will always be more important than having good game or being a successful PUA.
When I first got involved with sarging, I found myself in situations with women where I had to make what felt like at the time were difficult decisions about the extent of my honesty with women. I thought that by being honest I was going to hurt my relationships with the women I was with because they wouldn’t be able to accept the truth about me. However, because I believe so strongly in the importance of honesty, I just couldn’t control myself, and I was honest with women about many things about my life, despite the fact that I was sure they would hurt my chances. I was honest about many things including: the fact that I have sexual relations with many women, and the fact that I always will approach a woman I feel attracted to (if it’s what I feel like doing). When I was telling these girls about this I thought I was being really stupid and it was going to cause them to be less attracted to me, and perhaps no longer wish to associate with me. However, to my total surprise I was totally wrong!!! Not only did these women accept these things about me when I told them, but they actually liked me more respected me more and were more attracted to me as a result!!! I couldn’t believe it. It went against everything I thought I had previously understood about women.
I would now like to look at some examples of how I feel when sarging I am a more honest person.
***Opening sets in an honest way***
First of all, lets look at what happens each time I open a set. Each time I approach a women I will always tell her the feeling that I have at some stage soon after meeting her. For example I might say: “I just had this feeling that I wanted to talk to you, and get to know you better.” This is totally true! I might also say “I am enjoying talking to you” or something like this. From the very start of the relationship I always want to create a dialogue where talking honestly about emotions is normal, and I make no apologies for being honest about my feelings, what ever they are. I think this is more honest than what some AFG’s do making small talk with HB’s about things that they are not interested in just because they think that this will make the women like them more.
***Being honest about sexual desires***
I may not mention to the women when I first meet her that I am interested in forming a sexual relationship with her, and that I engage in sexual relationships with other women. But, I don’t think this is dishonest. For, example you don’t tell someone your bank account details just because they ask you. You would reply to this by saying, I don’t want you to know my bank account details. If the woman actually wants to ask me any question I am happy to give her an honest answer, or at least be honest in as far as I will say “I don’t feel comfortable answering that question in detail.” If a woman asks me “do you want to have sex with me?” the answer I will often give is, “you are a beautiful woman, and I am a man, so I am biologically programmed to want to have sex with you, but that is not important to me, I just enjoy being with you” or something like this. I think this is a really honest answer. It is dishonest for an AFG to hide his sexual desires, just because he is afraid of rejection.
***Being honest about sexual relations with other women***
When women ask me about if I have sexual relations with other women, I guess I just want to give them an answer that leaves them satisfied. For example, if at first I say “I don’t feel comfortable answering this question” and then they keep pestering me about it, I may say, “look, if a beautiful woman wants to sleep with me I’m not going to say no to her.” It’s honest and a DHV at the same time. In the first case showing that I’m not going to reveal myself to you just because you want me to, and in the second showing other beautiful women are attracted to me.
***communicating with women using honest emotions***
I think the emotions you use when answering these kind of questions are very important. I never want to brag, I always display a feeling of discomfort when talking about these things. For, me this feeling of discomfort is genuine, because I am showing that I am afraid that this fact about me will affect my relationship with the woman that I am with. This is totally honest, because I do like the girl that I am with, and I do care about her, and our relationship and I won’t feel good if she stops liking me.
***Being honest about the nature of the relationship***
Often girls will say to me that they want to become my girlfriend. I deal with this by saying that I really enjoy the feeling that I have with you, but I am not ready to commit to a relationship at this stage. Not allowing a girl to become my girlfriend has never stoped me from having sexual relations with a girl,. When I am with a girl who wants to become my girlfriend, I will tell her that we can’t have a committed relationship at this stage, but at the same time I will treat her like she is my girlfriend when I am with her, and for the woman having this feeling is worth more that actually having the title of being my girlfriend.
I think that most of the time the girl saying she wants to be my girlfriend is just an ASD.
***Being Honest When dealing with last minute resistance***
When I get a girl up to my room they might say “we wont have sex” I will answer by saying “we “wont do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing”. This is true. Of course I want her to feel comfortable and enjoy her self, because the more she enjoys herself the better the sex will be. If she is not comfortable then she wont want to be with me again.
Perhaps the LMR phase this is the most difficult time to be honest in a logical way, but it’s just part of getting around the ASD’s. But, the girl always knows there is a chance that sexual relations might happen, but she needs to feel comfortable and know that you respect her and she able to say no.
Another thing to be honest about is wanting to continue a relationship with the girl. Most girls to have sex will need to feel like you are not going to abandon them. I’m always honest about wanting to continue a relationship, because I always want to continue!!!! Of course I’m not going to, if I want to have sex with a girl, I’m going to want to stay around after (and possibly have sex with her again.)
***Being honest about being a PUA***
I often am even honest with women about the fact that I sarge. Although, I never use PUA terminology around women, because I think this termonlogy was created by men for men. But, if she is interested in knowing (and often they are because often I have cold approached them, and from this they are curious about why and how often I do this) I will her know that I have no problem with approaching a woman that I am attracted to, with the intension of starting a relationship with her.
The women who I have told about this usually actually find this quite interesting, and amusing and I think they actually like me more as a result of it. (I know that might sound crazy) I have even been on dates with a girl and she was curious to see me do it to another woman walking the street. I told her that I would do it only if she held my hand while I did it. She said to me “if any woman gives you her number she is crazy”. I went and approached a HB9 while holding my girls hand, and within one min I had her number. I then called her strait away to prove to my girl that I got her number and she hadn’t given me a fake, and sure enough the girl picked up the phone and answered. The girl found it very amusing to see me do this, and I think it was a big DHV in my favor. Previously I would have thought that this kind of behaviour would not have been accepted by other girls.
So I guess post is me just wanting to be honest with you guys about my journey in this game. I am always going to put honesty first. I am very interested to hear what other people think about this because it will alow me to understand this aspect of life further.
Thank you for reading this.
May you find happiness in yourself and share it with each other