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  1. #1
    rightgrim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Good looks, being both a blessing and a curse for me

    Hey guys,

    I'm a 24 years old tall black alpha-male with good looks, but I'm afraid that has become both a blessing and a curse.
    Me being having those looks has also made me less approachable as most women assume i'm either 1. cocky, 2. very picky, 3. a player, which puts a huge wall between me and them even before approaching.

    Through practice, i've learned to own my character (alpha-male, also the result of being a student of the cocky+funny game), and just roll with it. This turned out to work amazingly on older women (30+), but terribly on younger ones. This is not just a mere assumption of mine, but lots of female friends and sex partners have told me this - with my looks i come across as being full-of-myself or a hard core player before saying a single word. My guess is that younger women are just a lil more insecure or something, not too sure.

    Now my question is Because i cant change my appearance (I cant stop working out just because i want to look less jockey, and obviously cant change my skin color), do I just roll with cocky+funny game? or do the opposite (Play Mr nice guy) in order to balance things out.

    Some advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

  2. #2
    NomdePlume is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Good looks, being both a blessing and a curse for me

    Your fault if 10 minutes into a conversation and they still think that.

    If you appear superficial and egoistic, show that you're deeper than that. The contrast will make it more powerful and you'll give them that emotional rollercoaster they love so much.

    I've never had a problem with cockiness or playerness, although my colleagues and friends are starting to think im a player. The girl im talking never has a problem with it. And if they think you're picky that's a good thing - dont change that one.

  3. #3
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Good looks, being both a blessing and a curse for me

    I think this is a common question here, just coming from a different angle. Many guys come to the PUA community because they're fat or balding or whatever and looking for something that gets them women without needing the brad pitt appearance.

    A lot of pickup techniques you find out there are focused on communication, so the first thing they say is don't go to some club where it's too loud to hear you speak, it can be loud on the dance floor but make sure there's some quieter area you can pull a girl aside to and have a conversation (or learn that weird ear trick that's been going around that lets you be heard even when it's loud).

    That being said, while you cannot alter your body much, you can still alter your appearance. I forget the term, but Style and Mystery always talked about wearing some outrageous piece of clothing that gets people's attention. In your case it might just be something that alters your look just enough. As an example, if you're the t-shirt and jeans type, there's millions of t-shirts out there that can be a conversation piece or immediately broadcast that you have a sense of humor. If not, there's hats, jackets, and probably a million other pieces of clothing that can change the look you project.

    If these other women have come out and told you that your appearance projects something, why not ask them to take you out shopping and see what they might have you wear? Make a day of it. Or make a date of it. And you don't have to buy/wear what they pick out, but at least it'll give you some ideas and options.

    I mean, yeah, roll with the cocky-funny, but remember it's a balance between cocky and funny, so if your appearance says all cocky, either throw in some funny with what you're wearing, or make sure your opening always highlights the funny to balance it out. Balancing isn't about hard and fast rules: on one hand you don't want to come off as incongruent... on the other hand, juxtapositions are interesting and tend to draw people in. Look at how popular intentional irony has become these days.

    And you're right, after reading cocky-funny, I think it was targeted at a little older crowd, the guy who wrote it was older if I recall. Not that the technique can't work for the younger girls, but not if you just read straight from the book or whatever. I'd focus less on following it exactly and more on putting your own spin on it. You should know your own age group well enough to do that.

    The other school of thought is: wear what you want. Alpha males don't care what other people think. If that's not working for your targets, it may be something other than your appearance that needs attention.

  4. #4
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Good looks, being both a blessing and a curse for me

    I agree with NomdePlume on the being picky thing, that's a good thing. And the contrast thing he's talking about is exactly what I meant by juxtaposition, good call. Just make sure it's real, or at least appears genuine, you don't want to seem fake or incongruent.

    ...and BTW, please take a look at my question on another thread, maybe you or someone you know can give advice, haven't had any replies all day up until one a few minutes ago. Thanks!
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-text-gi...my-number.html


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