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Thread: Should I have been more aggressive

  1. #1
    notarry is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Should I have been more aggressive

    So this girl that I had a crush on a few years back and I started talking one day and I found out she also had a crush on me at that time. So I start making jokes saying we should get together and stuff and she jokes back. So i also start texting her semi-frequently but she responds with few words and doesn't seem like she wants to converse much. then she has a party later and invites me but it doesnt seem like she wants me to particularly or anything. And when I show up at the party, she talks to me a little but nothing much. Then I started talking to this dude and he says that they are dating. so I mentioned something about if she was dating the dude and she said sort, of not really, i dont know. So i was in this dilemma cuz i couldnt tell if she was inferring that she wanted to get with me or if i should not even risk it because i dont want to mess with that stuff. SO, now i feel like i should have cuz she was hinting at it? Should I have asked her to come outside and talk to me and then proceed to try to kiss her or something?

  2. #2
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Should I have been more aggressive

    First of all:
    This post is perfect. I've seen a lot of "complicated situation" bu11sh+t posts that are like a farking two-page essay too-long-that-I-don't-read. But this one is perfect; straight and to the point: he has a chick friend, she invites him to a party, there is another dude she's kinda/not really with, what to do - ?

    Where you stand:
    From this much information, the fact that she messages you when she's having a party and not otherwise, I think you're floating just outside her friendzone. She doesn't know you well enough to put you in the friendzone (that is good) but also, attraction isn't high enough to pull you closer (that is not good)

    What She's Looking for:
    Just from this - it sounds like she doesn't really know what she's looking for. She is kinda-sorta-with this other guy because he excites her (presumably he's kinda douche? Works out at the gym a lot? Correct me if this presumption is wrong because I'll change my assessment) but that he doesn't really click with her personality.

    What to do:
    Be Alpha (is #1 - search 'Alpha' and 'Virgil' on this site). And CLICK with her personality - if you do. I'm not saying deceive her, but I am saying that if you like similar things as she likes then be dominant (Alpha) and steer the conversation into areas of mutual interest. Also do kino (search 'Dicarlo' 'Escalation' and 'Ladder' on this site)

    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
    notarry is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Should I have been more aggressive

    hey autismus,

    The dude was not douche at all! Thats the big thing for me because i met him earlier without knowing she was his "whatever she was", but he's a cool dude. so finding out they were potentially dating i really didnt want to go against a bro. I have a high respect for bros. I think that is a kind of integrity within me that I am not really willing to change even for the hottest women. but if he was bullshitting than i would have been in the green, and thats where im not sure if i did the right read or not...

  4. #4
    NomdePlume is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Should I have been more aggressive

    Just figure out what you want first. Do you want her? Yes? Then be alpha and keep going for her. Don't react to the fact she has a bf. It means nothing to you. You get what you want because you are alpha.

    No? Then there's no point asking.

  5. #5
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I have been more aggressive

    Yea it is a tricky situation. But I always tell myself that I have no obligation to the bf. SHE DOES. And I am not physically forcing her into anything she doesn't want to do. Therefore I don't feel much guilt....sometimes :P

    I get that he is a cool guy and that is a shame. I don't think it was a bad choice to respect this guy since you liked him. In fact, we are taught that if your gf has guy friends, that you are to make friends with them so that they would feel guilty about hitting on her. Maybe he could be a Master PUA Just kidding. However, you have no idea if you will see this guy again or if he will add value to your life that is greater than the prospect of sleeping with her (Ex: Offer you a job, car, access to the playboy mansion, etc.) so don't feel obligated to respect him until he proves to you that he has more value as a friend than her as a sexual prospect.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Should I have been more aggressive

    Oh true. If he's a cool guy I'd say just bro out with him and don't really acknowledge that they're a couple. Keep her around on your friendzone back burner as preselection and game other girls. If things fizzle between him and her then you can think about letting her out of your fz. If not, then bros before h@'s
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR


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