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  1. #1
    monoposto is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Expert advice needed with an ex

    Ran into an ex a couple weeks ago in my neighborhood for a local festival. We had a pretty bad breakup last september after a year and half where, she kind of just cut me off when I was trying to get her to communicate and fix things with the relationsihp. I was fairly drunk when she saw me and was talking to a couple different women which I know she saw. Long story short we started talking on facebook a little bit and ended up exchanging numbers again and started texting. She'll text me on and off throughout the day telling me what she's doing etc. etc. Shes been doing this just about every day for a week now.

    One day while I was at work she sends me a text about how she was felt really bad and was sorry for the way she treated me during the break up and sorry her communication sucked and realized I was just trying to fix things. I pretty much said "yeah I didn't want to give up and that I was trying to fix things but ohwell"

    Bear in mind I haven't mentioned anything about our past relationship even made any effort too. I would like to rekindle this to see what could happen. We were really close and I was her first love. Other than the breakup there really isn't anything to complain about from our past relationship.

    So, I could use some of your guys' advice as I'm not sure how to approach this. Should I tell her how I feel and be direct about it? I want the relationship, but know I won't be able to do a friendship if that is all it is going to be. I'd rather not have her in my life if that were the case and then would have to tell her that or just completely ignore her. I am definitely being more emotional about this than I would if there wasn't any past relationship.


    EDIT: I should probably add that through texting and talking I've been trying to ramp up the attraction with some teasing, banter and doing some push/pull by varying my texting reply time etc. Could use some more advice on how to do it in person though
    Last edited by monoposto; 07-21-2013 at 01:25 PM. Reason: added something

  2. #2
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Expert advice needed with an ex

    Hey Monoposto,

    Ask her out for coffee. Talk about something that has changed for you since you guys broke up. Something cool like if you took a new class or are doing a new hobby that your really enjoy.

    Don't talk about any relationships you or her have had since.If she brings it up just change the subject.
    Don't tell her how life's been bloody fantastic since you guys brokeup i.e. don't hurt her feelings.
    don't even talk about your past relationship.

    Just show here that you are a awesome guy to be around. It's also your chance to see how she has grown. After the coffee just say it was awesome to catch up and leave it at that.

    Don't ask her out again.

    then take a couple of days and think if its worth pursuing again. Honestly, it might not be.

    If you decide to pursue, you should calland then the 2nd date could be more intimate.

    hope this helps

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