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  • 1 Post By dave_xxx
  • 1 Post By tommymac22

Thread: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

  1. #1
    tommymac22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    Hey guys, want your opinion on this girl I like.

    we met a few weeks ago in a club, we danced and I number closed before I left.
    she text me the next morning and we went from there, I got the feeling there was definately attraction but probably not much comfort.
    Anyway, I ask her out on a date and she says no, but will see me in the club again the weekend. We say hi in the club but I hardly see her and nothing happens.
    so I let a few days pass and we speak again about the weekend coming up and I invite her and her friends to my place she agrees and then on the day she says her friends arnt going out so she isnt going out.
    that night at 3am she messages me sounding upset. We talk for abit and she sounds better after.
    I feel like we had built up comfort so again I ask her out but this time on a double date so she can bring a friend. Again she agrees and says she will bring a friend.
    today is the day we were meant to go on that date but when I confirm with her she says no friends will come. So I say ok ill take you out and she says no she doesnt go on dates because shes too nervous.

    I have no idea how to go from here, any help is much appreciated thanks

  2. #2
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    Sounds less like a flake and more like a girl you haven't built comfort with. Some guys would say freeze out, which may work for a SHORT amount of time (a day or two only) but youd want to make her a normal part of your normal non-creepy life ASAP. This means messaging/joking/teasing daily. If your text game is right (never send last text, neve text twice in a row, keep "pace" by only responding in the same amount of time or longer it took her to text you, etc) you'll know what to do.

    If you think it's because your giving off the player vibe or even making her a bit uncomfortable (one of the other if she said she's nervous) the solution I use is to allow myself to look a tiny bit sensitive for a minute (not like a AFC or like a bitch). Ill do this by telling a story about my kid cousin who I'm overprotective of (she's adorable, and also see the "protector of loved ones"? Still DHV). Or ask advice on something to help your sister, etc. you get the point.

    Make sure you text or talk a few days (3-5) and meet up her no sooner than a week later. And if it helps, make it somewhere very public (mall, somewhere you are going sith OR without her) and (god forbid) consider inviting friends (if you do what I said correctly it shouldn't be nevissarily).
    --theBOB--

  3. #3
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    Quote Originally Posted by tommymac22 View Post
    Hey guys, want your opinion on this girl I like.


    Anyway, I ask her out on a date and she says no, but will see me in the club again the weekend. We say hi in the club but I hardly see her and nothing happens.
    so I let a few days pass and we speak again about the weekend coming up and I invite her and her friends to my place she agrees and then on the day she says her friends arnt going out so she isnt going out.
    that night at 3am she messages me sounding upset. We talk for abit and she sounds better after.
    I feel like we had built up comfort so again I ask her out but this time on a double date so she can bring a friend.
    That's 3 or 4 rejections from this girl. You are coming across as a needy AFC to her. She cancels a date on you and at 3am she is calling you when she is upset. Most likely she got back from a club, some guy f-closed her and she had buyer's remorse. Then she needed to call a guy to comfort her,boost her ego but she isn't going to tell you what she really did.

    I have written about this before. When a girl cancels or flakes out on a date this is what you should do.

    If she cancels or says she can't meet you that day, then you just go to that restaurant/bar anyway with a buddy or alone if necessary.

    Get someone to snap a pic with you and a waitress ( or another girl or group of girls). Then text her the pic saying how much of a great time you are having. Something like, "Hey, dork dork butt you are missing out on a CRAZY time here." Then don't send or respond to her messages for the rest of the night because you are TOO BUSY HAVING FUN.

    She will see you as a fun guy, the pic(s) shows Social Proof and it shows her that if she wants to have a fun time then she needs to be hanging out with you. It also shows her that you do what you want and when you want to. You don't need her for a good time. She will see you as the Alpha male.

    I have used this pic/text approach and the girls will want to re-schedule a date with you. Once they do, you make her work a little for the date by saying your busy or say "I don't know you have to bribe me." Say it in a sarcastic, cocky, funny, playful tone.

    Don't meet her on a Friday or a Saturday. Don't meet her for dinner. Coffee, activity or drinks ONLY. Don't spend very much money on her. My last date 2 nights ago came out $43 including the tip. We were there for about 3.5 to 4 hours.

    I will grab the bill and say, "You know I think I will cover the bill today. You cover the tip.... or we can switch and I'll cover the tip (wink)".

    She will laugh and choose to cover the tip.One exception, I did have a girl who is a pharmacist tell me that she will cover the bill and the tip. I told her that I will do the same on the next date. Now, you have a second date commitment. We still hookup about once a month.

  4. #4
    tommymac22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    Thanks for the feedback guys, not gonna give up hope just yet

    I've decided to not text her for now unless she initiates it and then tomorrow evening (when she would usually be out but isnt) ill send her a message along the lines of what you said about her missing out and a pic with a some girls/group and having fun.

    Is this ok?

    Because on saturday, im going for a meal and then very likely to be at the same club as her afterwards, how should I proceed when I see her?, should I look to work my magic on her like I would any other girl on a night out? or avoid her?

    I feel like I should talk to her atleast because its probably my best opportunity to build comfort, hopefully take down some of her barriers and build on attraction too.

    What do you think guys, again tyia.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    I would say dont ask her out and don't text for a week. Even possibly void that club (do you live somewhere with only one decent place to go?). Let her MISS you being around. Can't happen if you don't go missing lol. Too soon I would make sure I didn't see her
    --theBOB--

  6. #6
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    I've probably shot myself in the foot a few times here, but once someone flakes on me either last minute or without explanation then that's it. I'm done. Even just the one time. Next and move on. They chose to blow off someone they'd be lucky to have in their lives. There's plenty more people out there who won't blow me off. It's also a learning experience. Once you get into the whole recovering from the being stood up thing, you start chasing and it's quickly downhill from there.

  7. #7
    tommymac22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    Ok cool ill refrain from interaction this week. Even if she initiates it though? Or should I just be polite but not extend the conversation more than it needs to be?

    Normally after this many rejections i'd happily move on but there is just something about this girl that inside doesn't want me to give up and tbh i've never really got that feeling about a girl before usually its just about getting a one night stand but not this...

  8. #8
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    Just don't go to the same club. Take it out of your hands
    --theBOB--

  9. #9
    tommymac22 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    We ended up in the same club. Got talking had fun and just f-closed back at my place. Thanks for everyones help hopefully it will lead to a date and beyond now

  10. #10
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    Default Re: she keeps flaking - time to move on?

    ^Thats a better love story then twilight


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