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Thread: rs5096's series

  1. #11
    lilsting's Avatar
    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: rs5096's series

    "Because" is a magic word BECAUSE it implies reasoning. We all have a series of "practices" that have been instilled into us from our environment since birth. Let's face the reality of the situation, we have been taught not to converse with strangers. Think of "because" and words of similar use as a means to bypass this situation. This may be a little extreme, but "because" is almost a small form of DHV. I'll help you to better understand with a demonstration.

    Conversation 1 *awkward*:

    *Approach girl you don't know*

    You: Hi

    Her: Hi

    You: How are you?

    Her: *slightly weird* good

    You: Can I shake your hand?

    Her: *might laugh, but thinking to herself "Okkkk"* Ummmmm. sure

    *shake hands*

    Conversation 2 *Regular*:

    You: Hi

    Her: Hi

    You: How are you?

    Her: *slightly weird* good

    You: Can I shake your hand BECAUSE I'm walking around shaking random people's hands today.

    Her: *laugh* Ok. Sure

    --------------------

    What happened? Using the word "because" in the second conversation built comfort. It bypassed the naive mindset implemented into us that talking to strangers is "bad" or "wrong." This comfort that is built can, on the smallest scale, DHV. How? It's in a sense taking you out of random stranger mode, building comfort, and setting you in a higher place because you're slightly less random then when you first met her. This is done by making it seem like you have a life going on. This is the beauty of DHV stories. It combats the social stigmas that "strangers are bad" by building comfort, and making it seem like you're an actual person with a life, and not just a stranger. It is extreme, but using words like "because" will only benefit you in your quest for total world domination. Or in this case, cold approaching. Don't expect because to be the magic word that get's you sex, but it'll only nudge you in the right direction.

    Note: You don't have to use the word "because" necessarily, all you have to do is imply reasoning. "I saw you, and thought you were cute, and had to come over here and say hi" is accomplishing the same thing as "I saw you, and came over here to say hi BECAUSE I thought you were cute."

  2. #12
    rs5096's Avatar
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    Default Re: rs5096's series

    Nice one lilsting


    Plus 30 characters

  3. #13
    rs5096's Avatar
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    Default Re: rs5096's series

    AA cont.

    Anxiety is caused by visions and thoughts of the future. With Approach Anxiety we are anxious about being rejected. The anomaly is that we haven't even approached yet so the possibility exits that we will be rejected but the possibility exits that we won't be rejected.

    We are anxious and people are motivated by pleasure or pain and pain is usually the stronger of the 2. So the imagined pain keeps us from approaching or more correctly the imagined future pain keeps us from approaching.

    Ok a little esoteric strategy to combat AA, actually not so esoteric it's backed by research...

    Mindfulness can be traced back to a teaching of Buddha and there is even evidence that an earlier sect of Hindu's used mindfulness.

    More recently extensive testing has been conducted by UMass Medical Center and other notable institutions which indicate mindfulness and associated exercises to be incredibly effective.

    I'm not talking about zen meditation or anything like that. Mindfulness is all about living in the moment.living in the exact moment by moment.

    As an extreme example and using something as mundane as brushing your teeth. A mindful meditation will go something like this:
    - take the toothbrush with toothpaste and look at it as if you were looking at it for the first time. Feel it's shape in your hand. Take the time to really look at the toothbrush. Explore the texture of the toothbrush. Smell the toothpaste and take the scent right up to the top of the nostrils. How does it smell? Minty? Concentrate on the scent etc etc.

    It's a lame example but I promise you that it would be the best experience you've had when it comes to brushing your teeth.

    You took the whole experience in, moment by moment and the important thing is that you were completely in the present. you weren't thinking of anything else, the self-talk had finally shut up. Obviously we don't need to go to this extreme.

    Now when you're out sarging and you see a set your mind starts talking at a warp speed. you play the scenario over and over and the doubts fill your head and then the fear of approaching comes.

    so the idea is to stop the self-talk and the anxiety by just focusing on the present moment by moment. listen to the music, but really hear it. Feel the floor beneath your feet. Take everything moment by moment. Start walking towards the set, but keep in the present, the noise, the people. what are you seeing, what are you hearing, what are you tasting, what are you smelling and what are you feeling in the moment. I hear the music, I can hear the guitar in the song. I see 3 people dancing and laughing, my chewing gum tastes really fruity, I feel my feet moving and i can feel the floor beneath them with every step etc.

    OK so it is a bit esoteric but the idea is to live in the present. I'm not sure if I've done the subject any justice here so I'd encourage you to Google it and see what it can offer.

    rs5096

  4. #14
    rs5096's Avatar
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    Default Re: rs5096's series

    AA cont.

    Just a recap:

    • AA is caused by our flight or fight instinct stemming from our reptilian complex because approaching is unfamiliar;
    • As it become more familiar the anxiety will subside;
    • We have a fear of rejection;
    • Adding the word “because” to your opener will tend towards a positive response from the girl;
    • Being present in the moment using mindfulness will stop your inner self-talk from trying to induce the flight response.

    Now I want to address what Batman alluded to in a previous post. Keeping the conversation going once you have made the approach. Awkward silences will kill the interaction and the thought of this may fuel the flight instinct causing you not to approach

    A good model was introduced by Kezia Noble called the Nine-Hook Lead System (I think she’s added a 10th since developing the model):

    She defines low calibre hooks as words that make it difficult to carry on a conversation e.g. one word answers, and you should avoid these.

    A high calibre hook develops a conversation.

    So the following list starts from a lower calibre topic to a higher calibre topic:

    • Yes/No/Fine
    • Names
    • Colours
    • Animals
    • Cuisine
    • Genres
    • Celebrities
    • Countries, Books, Films, Hobbies, Jobs, Interests, Cities

    If you ask a girl with an accent where she is from or if you ask a girl what film she recommends this will be a high caliber hook. The idea is to be genuinely curious about her answers which will have themes and threads which you can follow up on.

    For example:

    You: “so, what movie would you recommend?”
    HB: “Well I just saw World War Z, which was really cool. You should go see it some time.”
    You: “Yeah I heard it’s good. It’s about the zombie apocalypse. It reminds me of all the George Romero zombie movies when I was younger. I used to scare my sister after. Haha. Was Brad Pitt any good in it?” So now you’ve moved on to celebrities, which is another high caliber hook, and you can potentially move the conversation about Angelina Jolie and how she’s adopted kids and had a baby in Namibia, which will lead to other threads.”

    More on hook leads when I have a moment.

    rs5096

  5. #15
    rs5096's Avatar
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    Default Re: rs5096's series

    so we want to try and keep our conversation steered towards the higher calibre topics as per previous post, but what are the actual hooks of the system.

    The first hook of Kezia's 9 hook system is the open ended question. She does say there is no particular order. the open question is a topic that we see again and again but it's importance obviously must be stressed. to keep a conversation going we need to steer away from the lowest calibre topics yes/no/maybe.

    An open ended question will flow into a conversation. Typical question words of what, when how are open ended as they push for a longer answer.

    And the answer will contain other threads to maintain the conversation. So if guys are fearful that they won't have anything to say, aim for the higher calibre topics and use hook 1 to get there.

    rs5096

  6. #16
    rs5096's Avatar
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    Default Re: rs5096's series

    One of the flow over effects of being a PUA is that it develops confidence not only in pick-up but in all areas of life. It's almost as if pick-up is a microcosm of life in general because we generally interact.

    Humans are social by nature, hierarchical, Darwinian, and the confidence to interact well means that we can train ourselves to be less emotional and more practical almost battling our way to the top - although battling is not the right word. It's not the right word because the battle is not outside, it's inside and it's inside every one of us.

    Man, during high school I was one big chump. My first kiss was at 15 and the girl said my tongue whirled around like a washing machine and she told other people. Hahaha

    It's not easy because, as pick-up artists we actually subject ourselves to emotion constantly. The true pick-up artists anyway. In "The Game", Mystery goes mad: the opening chapter is when Style is bringing Mystery to the clinic for meds. I don't think anyone can deny that as we meet, date and fuck girls, there is always that one that "get's under our skin." Oneitis sets in and we know how to act intellectually but are usually driven by our emotion - doing all the wrong things, trying desperately to climb back up to our logical levels. But game helps like no other therapy in the world can help.

    I'll let you guys in on a little secret - i'm an emotional guy. I laugh hard and sometimes I cry hard.

    PUA for me started with a goal to master my interactions with girls, but the best thing about it is that it made me look at my beliefs in a totally new and refreshing manner.

    Moreover, the camaraderie that has developed from a largely underground community to a largely transparent (not always) and productive community (as well as entrepreneurial although most products are plain crap, regurgitative or cons) just shows how many guys were and are in my position as that poor 15 year old.(although, it some aspects it's still underground. I delivered a seminar to single ladies on how to meet men and when I told them that I'm a pick-up artist most of them wanted to know more about us then what i had to tell them).

    Pick-up starts with girls but it doesn't end with girls. IMO going in with the mindset that game is actually a life coaching course in of itself, will pay huge dividends. For the newbies, if you take on the challenges that game offers you will succeed and you will survive; because the fittest always survive.


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