I'm not sure how often I'll post, but the idea is to write every so often on things that I've learnt and like. So the first post is going to have 2 components. Firstly just want to introduce you guys to 1 presupposition of NLP and then I'll post a really cool exercise which can be used anywhere but more specific to the community can help overcome approach anxiety.
Just a short intro to NLP: In essence it is the study of excellence. It's basis is to model - model someone that is doing something excellent and then copy them.
A pre-supposition in NLP is a valuable way of looking at the world, and whilst not scientifically proven there is evidence to support them.
The pre-supposition that we will look at here is: the map is not the territory. It means that our experience of the world is subjective. The "map" refers to our mind and the "territory" is reality.
So what we think is not necessarily the truth. We tend to react to reactions themselves. Our 5 senses take in so much data that it actually overwhelms the brain and the brains copes with all the data by filtering it and discarding what doesn't resonate with our being. The filtering process is largely determined by our values, environment, beliefs, behaviour , identity, capability and the like.
Having this awareness will help us in terms of our reactions because our reactions may be appropriate or inappropriate to reality. If a girl shoots us down, it may be for a variety of her subjective reasons e.g. she had a bad day at work or a close friend was involved in a terrible incident, but we may interpret it subjectively as we're not good enough or that she's a stuck up. Our perception is not the reality.
The exercise that I want to introduce is called the "circle of excellence." It will boost your confidence tremendously and help with approach anxiety and all situations where confidence is required:
- Stand, close your eyes and take a deep breathe. Recall a time when you were super confident. Remember the sounds, the smell, and visualise it.
- Feel the confidence building. Now imagine a circle around your feet. Give the circle a colour. Give it a sound. Now make the colour brighter and the sound stronger and amplify your confidence.
- Now step out of the circle and leave the confidence behind in the circle.
- Now think of a situation where you will need that confidence.
- When that situation is clear in your mind step back into the circle and feel the energy of confidence you left there. Feel it fully. Take a few moments to really rev it up if needed. Now imagine the situation again, but this time the confidence is oozing from you.
- Now step out of the circle again.
- Think of the situation again. The confidence will come crashing back. You've programmed yourself for the situation and when it comes, you will have the confidence for it.
- Now imagine that the circle is like a shadow. It follows you wherever you go. Whenever you need a recharge you simply step back inside of it and rev it and reprogram.