Ok, I will try to make this as short as possible. Met this girl in Feb, we went out a number times then termed it a relationship maybe late March. Cool girl, super hot, super fun, great sex, was satisfying just about everything i want in a relationship at this point in my life.
about 3 weeks ago, she decided to fess up to the fact that she's in a long distance relationship with a guy in another country and was committed to marrying this guy, they had plans to buy a house here, etc. (the guy has a lot of money). Needless to say I wasn't too happy she had been lying all this time, and in hindsight I should have walked away right there, but she told me she was in love with me and she wanted to be with me. in almost 3 years of knowing this other person, they have actually only been together in the same place for the equivalence of less than 3 months. (all very bizarre to me). she finally broke it off with him, we seemed to be well not good as I had made it clear she had to earn back my trust and frankly I was struggling with not being needy and insecure, but we had great make up sex, and we seemed to have turned the corner so to speak. this was last tuesday.
we saw each other again on friday and she was distant. she told me her brother had lost some money and she was upset about it, I told her its not worth it to get upset to the point where its seriously affecting you because of someone else's mistake. she then came out with this story that the other guy had been hospitalized and she didn't feel happy or right with us and she broke it off (pretty coldly after all the events and emotional roller coaster ride of the past several weeks). she later explained that she just felt like the connection wasn't there and there was no point in continuing. I thought that was a little crazy to throw in the towel so quickly after everything that had happened, but it was pretty clear to me that she was done. Real bummer.
ok, now my questions. Yea, I know I should have probably just walked away once she told me she had been dishonest, that probably should have been the deal breaker, but how should I have handled the whole situation? read a little of the bf destroyer stuff and must say I hadn't thought of that reverse psychology stuff. now I made no promises to her and never tried to project myself as better than this other person but I didn't speak highly of him either. after something like this, is there any good way to not be needy? maybe I went overboard with wanting proof of everything being over.
finally and this is probably the most important in terms of applying to the future. one thing that had come up at times in our relationship was that she had never had a boyfriend who hadn't payed for everything up to her taxi to and from wherever we were going. I live in South America where some standards are different, she also has been in and out of work. for me, obviously when we went out i payed for everything, but i usually did not pay for her transportation although there were a few times when i did because she didn't have money, it was too late for the bus. one of the things she brought up in the breakup is all of this again, and how she liked to go shopping and she just didn't see how we could work out. she seems to have an expectation of being showered with gifts and always being taken out to the nicest places (i guess its what to expect when she's basically committed to someone who has only been with her on vacation). what is your take on that in a relationship? now, one of the things that's got me bummed is that I just accepted a job offer for like twice the money. probably some of these things, us being able to go out to expensive places, me not taking her shopping but maybe getting an occasional gift or something, and possibly paying for her taxis would have probably been things that would have happened, given that I would have had the ability to do it all. In terms of this particular girl, its unfortunately over, the way she dropped me so quick after all of that, signified that, its not something im going to beg her to come back to, it was never about me convincing her to be with me. but I would like a take on these dynamics in terms of future relationships?