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  1. #1
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    This happens to me way too much and I need to fix it.

    Say you had a good prospect for an f-close. Wherever the situation lie (still in your favor or far from it because of mistakes since you last saw her) you still haven't had her tell you to never text/call her again, and you've never had her say anything explicitly rude to show disinterest either.

    If you haven't spoke in a few weeks (you're both busy, or you're trying to freeze out, etc.)...how do you go about contacting her?

    Clearly the goal is to get another date. But do you choose to show that in your first opener for a few weeks?

    Some options are:

    "hey you seems like its been ages, lets catch up soon! I'm free this weekend, if youre interested "

    seems too afc. but also insists she either shows interest or not...kind of a final answer type of text.

    "hey punk its been a minute! guessing your phone got nabbed by an angry elf, been there b4! haha get back to me when you're free, lets catch up!"

    this seems too desperate. why mention the lack of contact? but it's also more fun...and what to think of the "get back to me when you're free" part? hmmm

    "hey ____! havent heard from you in a while! I take it a rabid raccoon stole your cell? been there before! lets catch up soon, I'll be free this weekend "

    kind of a mix here. again not sure about mentioning the lack of contact. Also not sure what to think of proposing a date without havent spoken in so long

    "Hey ___! been a minute! How are things with moving out*? We should catch up soon, pizza party/pepperoni fight on Sunday?"

    This one avoids mentioning lack of contact. The moving out thing is just hypothetical, but basically fill in the blank with whatever you know shes busy with and might not be contacting you because of. The date proposal again makes me iffy though. But it does sound fun?



    What do you guys think. These are just hashed out, but in a situation like the one described at the beginning typically this is what I am thinking of for stuff to open up with.

    What do YOU do that WORKS? Can anyone vouch that mentioning lack of contact, or proposing a date right away or whatever is a bad or good thing?

    I feel comfortable sending ANY of these really. But the real question is which one is she going to let slid the most and not think anything like "that seems desperate" or "why's he so needy?"

    Help!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    I'd go with, old faithful here, "Hey, just saw something that reminded me of you." People are naturally curious, so she should respond with something like, "what?" Just reply, "It was really hilarious, I'll tell you about it next time I see you. What's happening ur side?' See if you can start a conversation like that and then arrange a meet up.

    rs096

  3. #3
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    LOL. What if I've already used that before? Things got dry once so I texted her one day like "Hey I just saw *insert outrageous situation*. Reminded me of you." to garner a response. LIke you said. Old faithful. She at least responded.

    Would you say none of the ones I came up with work? Any other suggestions lol.

  4. #4
    rs5096's Avatar
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    Hmmm. Maybe a slight variation. "Funniest thing happened. I thought I saw u today. So I went to say hello. She was like all confused and before I could even say something her mother came out from the shop and gave me this weird look. Haha so embarresing. How u been?"

  5. #5
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    Lol I'll think about it. She's a pretty sharp girl she'll probably know its a lie and I'm just trying to talk to her. Also how to deal with short and blunt responses if I encounter that? Neg her immediately?

  6. #6
    rs5096's Avatar
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    If she's short and blunt I'd just be blunt back. If she's being a bitch I'd say cool, its clear we got different values. Nice talking to you. Bye. But that's just me.

    See I think a girl needs to appreciate our effort. If she doesn't I'd move on to a girl that does. There are so many gorgeous girls out there. Not sure if this helps at all. If she's short then any text might prompt the same response. The one I like the best from your list is the food fight one.

  7. #7
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    I agree with you 100% there. Also, if a girl doesn't respond at all in this situation typically I call it quits but the AFC in me always wants to get a reason out of then as to why things sparked so well and then dropped, so I can improve myself you know. Sometimes I find myself trying to get in touch again just to do that and then when they answer I go AFC and just play like I'm not losing my shit.

    There has to be a good rule for cutting a girl off completely yes? If she doesn't answer two or three texts over two or three weeks and maybe a voicemail? What's your standard?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    I just got home after a 6 month stint away from home with the army so I have been opening a lot of girls I haven't talked to since I left. What I have noticed is that I am far more successful when I just carry on as if I had never left. If you can pull it off it feels seamless. I just go direct with my opener and get right to the point. You want to make it seem like it is nothing out of the ordinary and that you are just looking for a fun way to fill a Friday night.
    That being said, drop the part about catching up. You want to get her thinking you are going to do something fun together, and catching up honestly isn't fun. This might just be a personal quirk of mine but I think catching up is awkward.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    I was thinking to perhaps go vanilla here. Maybe a simple text. "Hey (name). How you? How's the move going?" I think a smartarse funny text has its place but girls pickup on our intentions if we think we're playing it cool. What u think?

  10. #10
    Slybootsucci is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?

    It's difficult to say! I think following the rule of never give up is probably BEST. But also it's a huge waste of time. It depends what you want from the girl really when it comes down to it. If you want to make something long term happen and she's got a lot going on then you're probably going to be tested, passed mostly, then put to the side to be retested later before you get the full credits. And while your on the side you have to play it cool but try and keep her interest.That's what I feel these periods are for me. I get into these girls that have so much going on that if I was only there for a few bangs it turns into a whole charade trying to bed them and is a waste of time relative to my goal. However if it's a girl I really wanted to see where thing went with, I then have to play the most grueling and emotionally draining of games. The ones where you have so much down time that you often find yourself overanalyzing things like crazy. These girls don't understand they're corrupting a good thing in such a way that it never even manifests because quite frankly I think a lot of PUAs are justified enough that they walk away with absolutely no regret.

    I think honestly ANYTHING works with a girl whos still interested as long as it isnt RUDE or blatantly over the line desperate. Something to be said about simplicity you know. Part of being a pua is to be smart, aware and flexible - so in those ways you slowly become more and more analytical because you are always going with the flow but also recognizes where the control in the situation lies, and if played right it usually stays in your hands. As with anything though, it boils over. Eventually you play yourself at some point and have to go back to the basics.


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