As you can read in my other thread (learning about PUA - one year later...), I have been practicing PUA for one year now. I have to admit that I have improved on several aspects, but I still lack what it takes to successfully attract women. I can approach, number close, get a first or second date, but that's it. They lose interest in the end.
After some inspection and the advice of forum members, I realized I am missing the essence of PUA:
I am an interesting guy and can discuss for hours with women, I love teasing them, my friends love my personality, but I still end up in the friendzone with women I meet. I really do not understand why, while I generally comfortable approaching and talking to women, I cannot simply do the 3 above things.
I will use as an example the lunch date I had today. I met this girl at salsa last Friday and stayed in touch. Turns out we work for the same organisation and that our buildings are close to each other. So, I suggested her that we go for lunch to a nearby park and she immediately accepted.
I was rehearsing the cube routine, prepared mentally for the date (I did not really stress about it as the girl is older and so-so looking) and I mainly stuck with an article I read ("how to talk to women" at sosuave.com)
The date went ok but I was not able to flirt and build attraction. We talked on and on about traveling projects (she implied at some point that she's looking for a bf who can also be a traveling partner), our hobbies, etc. I followed closely the advice from that website, so it was not a disaster in that sense that I didn't bore her to tears. When we parted ways, she asked me to let her know if I ever go to some party (I told her I like going to meet-ups) and we briefly texted later in the afternoon (I forwarded her a funny email I got from a colleague who was suffocating, she agreed with the statement and wished me a nice week-end). So, not all is lost...
I was still frustrated for not being able to use the cube routine and not being able to do some kino at least. I don't know, it somehow did not feel appropriate and did not match the mood of the conversation (it would have come out of the blue).
So, what else could have blocked me? The fact that she is a colleague? The fact she's older than me and cold-reading games probably won't impress her? The fact that I could find any appropriate time to use the routine?
This is a recurrent problem with all of my dates. For the love of God, I cannot bring myself to playfully touch these girls nor make a comment with sexual innuendo. The irony is that I do these things all the time to girls who are simply platonic friends (I do know them better, so I feel comfortable being playful).
Guys, did you ever have such problems? How did you solve them? This is really my main obstacle from being able to further pursue a relationship with all these girls I meet. I need more time than 2-3 dates to be able to act that way. The problem is that they lose patience after the 1st date...
Thanks in advance for the advice, mates!