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  1. #1
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default No matter how hard I try... any advice?

    Hey guys,

    As you can read in my other thread (learning about PUA - one year later...), I have been practicing PUA for one year now. I have to admit that I have improved on several aspects, but I still lack what it takes to successfully attract women. I can approach, number close, get a first or second date, but that's it. They lose interest in the end.

    After some inspection and the advice of forum members, I realized I am missing the essence of PUA:

    *Flirting
    *Sexual escalation
    *Kino

    I am an interesting guy and can discuss for hours with women, I love teasing them, my friends love my personality, but I still end up in the friendzone with women I meet. I really do not understand why, while I generally comfortable approaching and talking to women, I cannot simply do the 3 above things.

    I will use as an example the lunch date I had today. I met this girl at salsa last Friday and stayed in touch. Turns out we work for the same organisation and that our buildings are close to each other. So, I suggested her that we go for lunch to a nearby park and she immediately accepted.

    I was rehearsing the cube routine, prepared mentally for the date (I did not really stress about it as the girl is older and so-so looking) and I mainly stuck with an article I read ("how to talk to women" at sosuave.com)

    The date went ok but I was not able to flirt and build attraction. We talked on and on about traveling projects (she implied at some point that she's looking for a bf who can also be a traveling partner), our hobbies, etc. I followed closely the advice from that website, so it was not a disaster in that sense that I didn't bore her to tears. When we parted ways, she asked me to let her know if I ever go to some party (I told her I like going to meet-ups) and we briefly texted later in the afternoon (I forwarded her a funny email I got from a colleague who was suffocating, she agreed with the statement and wished me a nice week-end). So, not all is lost...

    I was still frustrated for not being able to use the cube routine and not being able to do some kino at least. I don't know, it somehow did not feel appropriate and did not match the mood of the conversation (it would have come out of the blue).

    So, what else could have blocked me? The fact that she is a colleague? The fact she's older than me and cold-reading games probably won't impress her? The fact that I could find any appropriate time to use the routine?

    This is a recurrent problem with all of my dates. For the love of God, I cannot bring myself to playfully touch these girls nor make a comment with sexual innuendo. The irony is that I do these things all the time to girls who are simply platonic friends (I do know them better, so I feel comfortable being playful).

    Guys, did you ever have such problems? How did you solve them? This is really my main obstacle from being able to further pursue a relationship with all these girls I meet. I need more time than 2-3 dates to be able to act that way. The problem is that they lose patience after the 1st date...

    Thanks in advance for the advice, mates!

  2. #2
    VelocityGrave is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: No matter how hard I try... any advice?

    You are one interesting person... I mean when you meet a new girl you can always do a handshake-> thats the start for kino, now if you want to do the right handshake you can find it in google/youtube pua+handshake or smtng similar, now all the other parts are in my opinion similar .

    stupid thing doesn't allow me to post a full answer fuk

    You are the PRIZE! not her believe it! you don't care what she thinks of you do the cube and do kino with it(calibrating kino shoulders,hands,legs ... if the girls likes it if not she will let you know). But the problem is not in the cube it is in your head->
    you think : oh she wont like something... you should think : she will love something
    now if thinking this way might be hard then try to think that she will not only like you you but love you and do everything you want

    just do it

  3. #3
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: No matter how hard I try... any advice?

    Your hang ups are all in your head. You aren't comfortable with kino so you don't do it. you aren't comfortable escalating so it never happens. At some point what ever interest she had in you will fade away. My goal in sarging is to make a woman want to fark in 30 to 60 minutes. I'm not saying that she will, but the point is that she wants too.

    You really need to focus on conquering these roadblocks that are in your head. Once you do, your life will be a lot easier with women.

    Btw, women love sex. They love to talk about it, do it, read about it, tell their girlfriends about it, so give it to them.

  4. #4
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: No matter how hard I try... any advice?

    It does seem that most of the issues are in your head. No technique will help you until you get out of your own head.

    You have to own up to your sexual desire and not apologize for it. Imagine her without clothes on and doing stuff to you. Take care of logistics so they come back to your place. And kino as soon as you meet them.

    I think you're just too afraid the women won't like you touching them in that kind of way. You fear rejection or that if you show that kind of interest the "cats out of the bag." Not sure how you grew up, but women like sex just as much or more than men. They WANT you to touch them. And there is a point where you have to come out from under the radar in order to progress things.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: No matter how hard I try... any advice?

    "I need more time than 2-3 dates to be able to act that way."
    You don't have 2-3 dates my friend remember that, the day 1 always determine if you get another shot. Please stop holding yourself back.

    This is what I do to initiate kino, as soon as we meet for day 1, I make sure we hug (and I ain't talking about church hugs, I make it a bit longer), so to hint her that I'm not about that FZ life lol. Then when we sit, I make sure I steer the discussion in the direction I want so I can incorporate the cube I any given moment without it coming out of the blue, and before I start the cube I tell her I need to first run up some warm up question to make sure she is relaxed (that's when I tell her to give me both her hand so I can help her relax) then run the cube. And the rest is history lol.

    But one last advice, I think your fear is coming from the "unknown", by that I mean that you're scared because you don't know what's "next", you don't know how she is going to react to your current and next move. I used to have the same problem until I found this fix:
    "Run your dates the same way all the time, so it helps eliminate the unknown variable."
    Nikee --Just did it--

  6. #6
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: No matter how hard I try... any advice?

    Thanks for all the replies, guys! This is very helpful!

    I need to work more on myself to mentally get over these obstacles. Nevertheless, I find it a pain to date girls that way. With my previous girlfriend, we took our time and took things slowly. We got to know each other first (but it was also easier since we were studying together) and then we started dating. Now, I have to do everything in one single date and I really hate to rush things. This is completely opposite from my personality and I get the impression of being fake. I kinda feel forced to flirt when I am not ready for it. What has dating become so complicated nowadays? sigh....

    Anyway, I met this chick again today (invited her over to the park to play frisbee and badminton). I mustered all my courage and used the ring routine on her. I took her hand and stared at her eyes while explaining. Man, she was mesmerized, staring back into my eyes! This is my first time I ever tried one of those tricks and I did not imagine that they worked so well!

    I didn't do anything more with her though, but I am not sure I really wanted to. After examining her features a bit more, I realized that she must be 10 years older than me or so. She also works at the HR department of my company, so I don't really want to mess with her feelings and get a nasty surprise someday, lol. Nevertheless, this was still good for practice

    I will definitely use the cube, strawberry field and ring routines whenever I get the chance just for kicks. I am not so desperate for sex anyway, so I would like to experiment some more.


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