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  1. #1
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do I get her back??

    Met a girl few months ago and she was REALLY into me. She texted me everyday for about a month and a half and in that span we ended up going on 2 dates that ended up well... First date I k-closed, second date was a heavy makeout session in her car (probably could have f-closed, messed up here). Anyway after the second date she texted me the next day, and I set up another date during the week... She accepts the date but starts to text less, then doesn't reply to one of my texts and ends up not texting on the day we were suppose to meet up... From then on she has been pretty cold and has been ignoring some of my texts so I just give up and stop trying... Any idea on what happen to make her suddenly lose interest? She went from texting me 24/7 to not even/barely replying to me... This all happened about a month ago and I haven't heard from her since, I thought she would contact me but she hasn't. What can I do to fix this!?

    If more details are needed, I can post more

  2. #2
    PUcowboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    Yeah I think more details would help. From what I have heard I would say forget it

  3. #3
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    Ok well... She was REALLY into me, she would literally text me 24/7, drunk texted me a few times and was all lovey dovey.. She seemed extremely clingy but I liked the attention so I didn't push her away... She also really cared about me and even texted me after our dates to make sure I got home safe... She was also initiating 90% of the texting... Sometimes when I would take hours to reply she would send me another text or two... And was very quick to reply when I texted her... She also hinted at a relationship during our FIRST date and showed me pics of her friends/fam and said I would meet them and all... Saying all that above, I find it hard to believe she lost all interest so suddenly...

    Part of the problem was the fact that she lived and hour away and we had conflicting schedules (hence only two meetups)...

    Anyway the turning point,
    So after our second date, she texts me the next day (Sunday) and all is good (seems like nothing went wrong on the second date)... So I set a date for Tuesday and she says she is up for it.. I end up falling asleep on her
    Monday - I text her and she replies hours later (she usually replies quick but rarely she does this) after about an ahour she send another text... I reply to the second text about an hour later and she seemed a little upset and texts for a bit then ignores me... So nothing was solidly set for our date on Tuesday and we end up not talking that day

    Tuesday - No contact

    Wednesday - I text her (didnt bring up the date, just acted like all was good) and she doesnt reply, so i text her again before bed and she replies saying she was busy and all... we text a bit and i was a bit bothered so i ignore her text

    Thursday - I text her right before bed, no reply

    Friday - Text her again, no reply

    Saturday - I send her a funny text, about how our relationship isnt working out and she laughs, plays along but also mentions "you're right our live are too fast paced for eachother" --> I never took that seriously tho
    anyway she plays along but she was more cold by actually taking the playful breakup text like it was real and once i brought up having make up sex she said "too bad that'll never happen" then ignores me for good there...


    From then on I never heard from her since, I don't know if she got mad because I didn't go through with this Tuesday date or what... I mean maybe she got fed up because of the distance and how it was difficult to meet up and all but I have no clue... She never sent me a text saying she wasn't interested in seeing me anymore or anything so I really don't know what to do... I was expecting her to contact me but she hasnt... Do you think she really lost all interest? Anyway to spark this back? I really dig this girl and I've been trying to move on since but I couldn't get over her...

  4. #4
    PUcowboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    Quote Originally Posted by testin View Post
    Ok well... She was REALLY into me, she would literally text me 24/7, drunk texted me a few times and was all lovey dovey.. She seemed extremely clingy but I liked the attention so I didn't push her away... She also really cared about me and even texted me after our dates to make sure I got home safe... She was also initiating 90% of the texting... Sometimes when I would take hours to reply she would send me another text or two... And was very quick to reply when I texted her... She also hinted at a relationship during our FIRST date and showed me pics of her friends/fam and said I would meet them and all... Saying all that above, I find it hard to believe she lost all interest so suddenly...

    Part of the problem was the fact that she lived and hour away and we had conflicting schedules (hence only two meetups)...

    Anyway the turning point,
    So after our second date, she texts me the next day (Sunday) and all is good (seems like nothing went wrong on the second date)... So I set a date for Tuesday and she says she is up for it.. I end up falling asleep on her
    Monday - I text her and she replies hours later (she usually replies quick but rarely she does this) after about an ahour she send another text... I reply to the second text about an hour later and she seemed a little upset and texts for a bit then ignores me... So nothing was solidly set for our date on Tuesday and we end up not talking that day

    Tuesday - No contact

    Wednesday - I text her (didnt bring up the date, just acted like all was good) and she doesnt reply, so i text her again before bed and she replies saying she was busy and all... we text a bit and i was a bit bothered so i ignore her text

    Thursday - I text her right before bed, no reply

    Friday - Text her again, no reply

    Saturday - I send her a funny text, about how our relationship isnt working out and she laughs, plays along but also mentions "you're right our live are too fast paced for eachother" --> I never took that seriously tho
    anyway she plays along but she was more cold by actually taking the playful breakup text like it was real and once i brought up having make up sex she said "too bad that'll never happen" then ignores me for good there...


    From then on I never heard from her since, I don't know if she got mad because I didn't go through with this Tuesday date or what... I mean maybe she got fed up because of the distance and how it was difficult to meet up and all but I have no clue... She never sent me a text saying she wasn't interested in seeing me anymore or anything so I really don't know what to do... I was expecting her to contact me but she hasnt... Do you think she really lost all interest? Anyway to spark this back? I really dig this girl and I've been trying to move on since but I couldn't get over her...
    I see a few things here, 1. maybe a sooner date would have been better cause she might have lost intrest over time, 2. it is possible she is one of those attention who*es that just need to feel wanted, for example I talked to this girl for about a month, she was smoking hot, texted me first everytime, did anything I said, and was totally happy, I played my game right, she was into me way more than I was to her, but turns out she was talking to a dude the whole time so I ditched her. That's a possibility, also, the distance might be an issue but I doubt it

  5. #5
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    Quote Originally Posted by PUcowboy View Post
    I see a few things here, 1. maybe a sooner date would have been better cause she might have lost intrest over time, 2. it is possible she is one of those attention who*es that just need to feel wanted, for example I talked to this girl for about a month, she was smoking hot, texted me first everytime, did anything I said, and was totally happy, I played my game right, she was into me way more than I was to her, but turns out she was talking to a dude the whole time so I ditched her. That's a possibility, also, the distance might be an issue but I doubt it
    1. I was worried about her losing interest over time but it didn't seem to fade, I mean 1st date and 2nd date were a month apart, 3rd date would have been only few days away from the second...

    2. She is constantly being chased by her EX, and she also mentioned another guy chasing her and how she would just simply not reply (DAYS later she did it to me)... She was really open to me and made it clear I was her #1 but then again there COULD have been another guy and she just played me

    I just don't get how she was all over me, saying we mesh and everything then suddenly goes cold... She didn't even say she didn't want to see me again or anything so I don't know if I should contact her or not. Would have really helped me instead of having me guess, I got no closure here

    Edit: she LOVED the attention, I just don't know why she stopped wanting it unless there was another guy
    and mind you she loved how much we connected/had similar interests... I was really hoping this girl would end up my gf because how we meshed... It felt like as soon as I started to like her she started to lose interest...

  6. #6
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    I have learned this by experience but don't ask the reason because I don't know: After a heavy make out you must f-close or the girl will disappear!

  7. #7
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    Girls won't usually tell you that they don't want to see you anymore. I mean, it's not like she's mad at you. In her mind it's better to keep you on her radar for when she does want you again. It's a bitter truth. There is likely another guy, but you'd only be hurting yourself by continuing to chase her when her focus may be on someone else.

    I usually have this scale that I imagine. On one end is a woman who wants absolutely nothing to do with me. And I ask myself "How would she behave?" Then I go to the other side of this mental scale and imagine a woman who's totally nuts over me. How would she behave? Then I put the woman in question somewhere on this scale.

    My guess is that she is interested, but not attracted. You may be losing momentum. You may need to mix things up and put her on an emotional roller coaster. Maybe call her out on it. Or just disappear on her for a week or two. Use your best judgment.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiearef View Post
    I have learned this by experience but don't ask the reason because I don't know: After a heavy make out you must f-close or the girl will disappear!
    I felt like I should have f-closed. It was only the second date but I can tell she wanted it. I know I fucked up there but she still agreed to another date. Once that didn't happen she was GONE.

  9. #9
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Girls won't usually tell you that they don't want to see you anymore. I mean, it's not like she's mad at you. In her mind it's better to keep you on her radar for when she does want you again. It's a bitter truth. There is likely another guy, but you'd only be hurting yourself by continuing to chase her when her focus may be on someone else.

    I usually have this scale that I imagine. On one end is a woman who wants absolutely nothing to do with me. And I ask myself "How would she behave?" Then I go to the other side of this mental scale and imagine a woman who's totally nuts over me. How would she behave? Then I put the woman in question somewhere on this scale.

    My guess is that she is interested, but not attracted. You may be losing momentum. You may need to mix things up and put her on an emotional roller coaster. Maybe call her out on it. Or just disappear on her for a week or two. Use your best judgment.
    I disappeared for a little over a month hoping she would contact me. I failed there, is it time to re-initiate?

    If there is another guy maybe I should back off for now? I don't want to chase her but I need a way to have some contact so I can run some sort of game. I surprised she pulled a 180 on me like that, she was all over me then suddenly got COLD.

  10. #10
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How do I get her back??

    You went a month with no contact?? Wow. You might as well treat it like you're starting from scratch. That's way too long to wait for a woman to contact you. Honestly you may want to cut your losses. Or go all in and tell her you want to see her ASAP. It's high risk/high reward, but if you're going to walk away might as well ya know.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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