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  • 1 Post By BatMan
  • 2 Post By Suave Kino

Thread: Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

  1. #1
    Hhudson is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

    I met a HB9 while visiting my buddy at the community theater (he builds sets there) We went to a cafe across the street and I ended up number closing. After that we talked on the phone a couple of times. We agreed to get together again in a week or so once our hectic schedules calmed down (she is acting in a new production that opens soon, and I have a huge project at work) and my buddy says she is super interested. One night we both agreed to continue our conversation via text, as her voice was hoarse from hours of rehearsing/singing on stage, while mine was from talking on the phone 9 hours straight at work. So for about a week we have been having a long text conversation. Sometimes a long time passed due to work or rehearsal, but we always responded to one another.

    Today I was looking at the actor biographies on theater website. In her picture she has really short hair, like the girl from Harry Potter after she cut her hair. She was wearing a wig/costume when I met her because it was a rehearsal, but I thought she had long hair under it. She still looks good with short hair, but would look better with it long. So I negged her about her short hair. I knew she was at a rehearsal so I didn't expect a response right away. She responded about 20 minutes ago while I was in the shower: "Your neg about my hair was really unkind. Girls like me who are in remission from cancer and getting used to our new appearance don't always have the greatest self confidence as it is, and backhanded compliments like yours are not helpful at all. It's not nice to make fun of how people look."

    I had no idea she had cancer. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. While I didn't insult her but since she is sensitive about it I guess she thinks I did. I have no idea how to respond. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
    Last edited by Hhudson; 08-11-2013 at 11:14 AM. Reason: spelling

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

    simply reframe
    you came across as a confident girl.i knew you could handle it.you know ur one sexy woman.i have teased sometime back though.

    If she doesn't know ur a pua don't go telling her yet.infact never.she may ask about negs.you don't really need to go too deep

  3. #3
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

    Leave your "Game skin" and act like a gentleman.

    I'd do something along the lines:

    "I apologize for the backhanded compliment. You can now understand that I am an idiot, and as an idiot I tried to find the most peculiar to give you a compliment. I'll stick to the 'I think you're really pretty' from now on."

    I reckon diminishing yourself a bit would actually be a DHV in this case.
    Veni, vidi, vici.

  4. #4
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

    I would say something like this, I apologize for the way I made you feel as it wasn't my intention to hurt you or overstep my boundaries, but to find them. I can be a goofball/asshole/xxxx at times, hang long enough around me and you would learn not to take me seriously all the time.

    It might be a bit long over text but I think it does two things at once, send a sincere apology, and reframe you as a fun playfully person at times.

    Good luck.
    Nikee --Just did it--

  5. #5
    Nitro is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

    Do not text her. Stand up like a man and call her .Apologize like a real gentleman and try to win her back!
    If she does't answer to the phone (you better her schedule what time to call) text her what people above have suggested you

  6. #6
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

    I agree with Nitro , call her and apologize. Plus tell her to compensate your mistake you want to take her to dinner or something.

  7. #7
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

    Yea never use negs through text. You always are suppose to change the subject after a neg so she doesn't blow you out like she just did. Through text is not ideal than a in person convo. In fact, negs are only suppose to create a value gap in order to build interest. You already had interest so no need to neg.

    You should apologize, but that doesn't mean to kiss her ass. You had no idea and that's not your fault. It's really not a big deal.

    "Really? Wow. Wasn't my intention to offend. How long have you been battling cancer?" Change the subject and move on.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
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    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I screw up? How do I respond to this text? URGENT!

    I wish you guys would leave negs alone for the most part. usually, they are just negative toward the outcomes of your sarging. only, ridiculously hot girls need negs, in person, in a very limited quantity.


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