I met a HB9 while visiting my buddy at the community theater (he builds sets there) We went to a cafe across the street and I ended up number closing. After that we talked on the phone a couple of times. We agreed to get together again in a week or so once our hectic schedules calmed down (she is acting in a new production that opens soon, and I have a huge project at work) and my buddy says she is super interested. One night we both agreed to continue our conversation via text, as her voice was hoarse from hours of rehearsing/singing on stage, while mine was from talking on the phone 9 hours straight at work. So for about a week we have been having a long text conversation. Sometimes a long time passed due to work or rehearsal, but we always responded to one another.
Today I was looking at the actor biographies on theater website. In her picture she has really short hair, like the girl from Harry Potter after she cut her hair. She was wearing a wig/costume when I met her because it was a rehearsal, but I thought she had long hair under it. She still looks good with short hair, but would look better with it long. So I negged her about her short hair. I knew she was at a rehearsal so I didn't expect a response right away. She responded about 20 minutes ago while I was in the shower: "Your neg about my hair was really unkind. Girls like me who are in remission from cancer and getting used to our new appearance don't always have the greatest self confidence as it is, and backhanded compliments like yours are not helpful at all. It's not nice to make fun of how people look."
I had no idea she had cancer. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. While I didn't insult her but since she is sensitive about it I guess she thinks I did. I have no idea how to respond. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.