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Thread: She Texts Back... a WEEK LATER

  1. #1
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    Default She Texts Back... a WEEK LATER

    Long story short, met this girl at a party. She's smart and totally a player. Said how interested she is in me. Typed in her name as "Ann... you're intrigued by me.".

    I left the party at 4am.

    Texted her a few days later, asked to meet over wine.

    She said she "likes my style, but is very busy with a (list of like 3 specific things.)" Then added "Text me when youre back from your trip and lets see how we feel"

    Week later I texted "Feel like wine."

    And now today (5 days later) she tests "Just read this again. How was your trip chickadee?"

    What's my next move? Wait a day? 2? Such a weird case.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She Texts Back... a WEEK LATER

    Well, you shot the gun too quick on that wine invite, and you really blew it with literally waiting a whole week until you were home from your trip to ask her again, without any conversation in-between. The reason she texted you back a week latter was because she was bored. She was expecting you to actually try and flirt with her and build up attraction.

    Right now, she's continuously prodding you to try and play with her. Judging by the response and the fact that she even did send that kind of message with a nickname, I would say to just play along with her right now, and when I say right now I mean text her right now. And please, wait a while before asking her to do something again.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
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    Default Re: She Texts Back... a WEEK LATER

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    Well, you shot the gun too quick on that wine invite, and you really blew it with literally waiting a whole week until you were home from your trip to ask her again, without any conversation in-between. The reason she texted you back a week latter was because she was bored. She was expecting you to actually try and flirt with her and build up attraction.

    Right now, she's continuously prodding you to try and play with her. Judging by the response and the fact that she even did send that kind of message with a nickname, I would say to just play along with her right now, and when I say right now I mean text her right now. And please, wait a while before asking her to do something again.
    Hmm.. Good food for thought. I haven't texted her back yet because I didnt get a response from you guys until late. She texted at 8. Ill text her back early tomorrow afternoon. Is there a limit on how late I should text her back?

    On asking her out too early, probably. I did build a little comfort prior. I figured that since I hung out with her for 3-4 hours at a party, I wouldn't need to jump through hoops, but you're right.

    How would you respond to her Chickadee line?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: She Texts Back... a WEEK LATER

    I'd follow Swagman's advice, definitely playful and flirty. I don't think the wine invite was too soon if it was discussed at the party. Pushing right back to the wine on the second text was definitely too much though. Do as Swagman advises and take your time before pushing for a meetup. She wants to play, so give her what she wants. Be creative, think of it as fore-fore-play. But do escalate slowly and steadily. You are going to take your time and have fun while doing it, but remember at the same time as you appear lost in the enjoyment of the moment, you are working towards a goal. Don't just become a text-only buddy, don't be some trashy romance novel she can turn on with her phone and throw away after she gets her kicks. Make her work for it, little by little.

    Anyway, she sounds like she thinks she's a player alright. Two ways of dealing with those:

    1) Play her back. She wants some competition. Play her jokingly like the over the top player she's pretending to be. Honestly, it's a sh1t test to see if you can handle a girl who's competitive without getting all huffy or pu$$y or angry about it.

    2) Personally, I'd work the opposite. Jokingly play the part of the hapless victim. Call her out on being a player and trying to seduce you (emphasis on jokingly), like you're such an innocent and you're wary she's going to talk you into coming over, lock you in her apartment and take advantage of you. Obviously not all that all at once, that's just the style of the interaction. It does take some finesse, but it pays off because it gets her in the character of chasing you, and she's clearly too invested in playing a part to break character. (Warning: Never underestimate the power of unlocking a woman's untamed fantasy imagination. And believe me, the fantasies they keep locked up inside can be pretty darn imaginative if you can put them on the spot while feeling comfortable enough with you to let them loose. Recent example: new girl, called her out on interrogating me with too many questions, very early after getting her number, very playfully, and within a handful of messages, where I mostly just found more and more creative ways to say "you'll never get me to talk", it had escalated to HER vividly describing every detail of every little dirty sexy kinky f*cked-up thing she'd do to me handcuffed to an interrogation room chair, so be VERY careful with this technique!!)

    As for the chickadee, it is a term of endearment, but with diminutive connotations. She's playing at dominant. Either she's got a control thing and she just wants to see if you will roll over for her like a good little man pet (yes, some women have been messed up in the past and prefer a fling with a dumb obedient pretty boy because she feels safer not giving up any control), or it's a sh1t test and she wants to see if you're man enough to be your own man, not let her own you, and even turn it around on her. Based on what little you've told us, I'm siding towards the second one, but you talked to her for 3-4 hours, which do you think it is?

    BTW, either way I'd tailor a joke to it. Look up whoever that guy was that said "my little chickadee" in all the old movies or cartoons or whatever. W.C. Fields maybe? Or was that other guy? I don't know, the internet is your friend on this one.

    I'm curious, do come back and let us know how this one turns out.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: She Texts Back... a WEEK LATER

    Quote Originally Posted by Magnum View Post
    I'd follow Swagman's advice, definitely playful and flirty. I don't think the wine invite was too soon if it was discussed at the party. Pushing right back to the wine on the second text was definitely too much though. Do as Swagman advises and take your time before pushing for a meetup. She wants to play, so give her what she wants. Be creative, think of it as fore-fore-play. But do escalate slowly and steadily. You are going to take your time and have fun while doing it, but remember at the same time as you appear lost in the enjoyment of the moment, you are working towards a goal. Don't just become a text-only buddy, don't be some trashy romance novel she can turn on with her phone and throw away after she gets her kicks. Make her work for it, little by little.

    Anyway, she sounds like she thinks she's a player alright. Two ways of dealing with those:

    1) Play her back. She wants some competition. Play her jokingly like the over the top player she's pretending to be. Honestly, it's a sh1t test to see if you can handle a girl who's competitive without getting all huffy or pu$$y or angry about it.

    2) Personally, I'd work the opposite. Jokingly play the part of the hapless victim. Call her out on being a player and trying to seduce you (emphasis on jokingly), like you're such an innocent and you're wary she's going to talk you into coming over, lock you in her apartment and take advantage of you. Obviously not all that all at once, that's just the style of the interaction. It does take some finesse, but it pays off because it gets her in the character of chasing you, and she's clearly too invested in playing a part to break character. (Warning: Never underestimate the power of unlocking a woman's untamed fantasy imagination. And believe me, the fantasies they keep locked up inside can be pretty darn imaginative if you can put them on the spot while feeling comfortable enough with you to let them loose. Recent example: new girl, called her out on interrogating me with too many questions, very early after getting her number, very playfully, and within a handful of messages, where I mostly just found more and more creative ways to say "you'll never get me to talk", it had escalated to HER vividly describing every detail of every little dirty sexy kinky f*cked-up thing she'd do to me handcuffed to an interrogation room chair, so be VERY careful with this technique!!)

    As for the chickadee, it is a term of endearment, but with diminutive connotations. She's playing at dominant. Either she's got a control thing and she just wants to see if you will roll over for her like a good little man pet (yes, some women have been messed up in the past and prefer a fling with a dumb obedient pretty boy because she feels safer not giving up any control), or it's a sh1t test and she wants to see if you're man enough to be your own man, not let her own you, and even turn it around on her. Based on what little you've told us, I'm siding towards the second one, but you talked to her for 3-4 hours, which do you think it is?

    BTW, either way I'd tailor a joke to it. Look up whoever that guy was that said "my little chickadee" in all the old movies or cartoons or whatever. W.C. Fields maybe? Or was that other guy? I don't know, the internet is your friend on this one.

    I'm curious, do come back and let us know how this one turns out.
    I believe that she has a dominatrix fetish, and is intrigued by guys that don't take her sh1t, which is how I intrigued her in person - I didnt take her shit.

    Chickadee, as yousuggested, is by WC Fields..... You are spot on. Have to think of the right flirty response.. Mae West is in that one. She has a sexy quote "When I'm good, I'm great, when I'm bad, I'm better."

    So she asked me about the trip. Was thinking about saying "When it was good, it was great. When it was bad, it was better." Sexualize it a bit, and call back to her quote without being obvious. Thoughts?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: She Texts Back... a WEEK LATER

    Actually, I went for it. What do you guys think?

    My reply:

    "Are you my Mae West already? Well when it was good, it was very good. but when it was bad, it was better....trip that is."


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