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Thread: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

  1. #1
    Hawksley is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    I'll make this as simple as I can. Sorry that it is so long. But, it's a good story!

    I was working on a theater show for a few months and this one girl was co-starring with me. Rehearsals for the show lasted about three months on and off but I never had much of chance to talk with her at practice. I had known her previously, but I also know she HAS a bf. She is the sort of girl who seems quality and her facebook photos make her seem like the good girl. A couple days before our last show, some of us went to check out a different show and she sat beside me. We were all drinking and I had to use the washroom 20 mins before the show ended. As I came back, she appears beside me (I think she was using the washroom, too). We sat at the back of the theater and she starts stroking my arm, and tries to grab my hand. I don't let her until after several minutes of trying. I was simply enjoying what was going on. The show ends, we all leave for home. She texted saying 'Sorry, I was getting so flirty. Been hard to hold back." I liked that last bit there.

    A couple days later, we had our last show. I got to the venue early, and when I saw her arriving I kind of wanted to freeze her out just because. So, I noticed a friend I "hadn't seen in a while", I got a call (which was fluke), I set up the props, I had an "important conversation" with the director. Sure enough, she still was flirty. After the show, she and I and a couple others went for drinks. Later, we switch tables and I am positioned further away from her making it hard to talk to her. I texted a woman "pawn" of mine and told her to meet me there. I go outside for about 40 minutes texting the girl I'm into not to leave to the next venue without me. She started texting asking where I was and stuff. But I didn't reply. I met up with this "pawn" and went back to the bar. My pawn sits next to me and we start chatting and getting giggly and I put my hand on her leg. The whole jealousy plot line worked I think because I took a trip to the washroom, and the girl I'm into texts asking "is that your ex?" and jokingly/flirtingly said to me later "you were feeling up her legs!" I came back to the table and this girl is giving me these flirty looks, clearly into me, but I always turned my attention back to my "pawn" friend. The pawn leaves, and so now that the jealousy seed has been planted, we move onto the next venue. A house party. I'm feeling pretty good by this point.

    At the house party, I made sure to talk to all these different, interesting people who I'm getting amazingly useful information from. So, again, I didn't really talk with her much, even though there was roughly 20 other very cool guys in the house, and about 5 women. But as the party winded down, she drove me home and asked if I could show her my place. Haha. So, she comes in, and I save my room for last. As soon as she goes in my room, she flings herself onto my bed. For the next 13 hours we are farking, laughing, telling stories, having a fantastic time. If the bf ever came up, she'd say, "let's not think about that". She had nothing but good things to say about the situation and how much fun it was. And she was nothing but amazing and cute herself, wrapped up in my sheet while eating breakfast on my deck. An image I'll never forget.

    It's been three days since she left my place. I know women can be feel pretty vulnerable after having sex with a new guy, but I bet even more so if you cheated on your long term guy. I texted her later that night simply saying "Hope the show was good. What an ending to a stellar Fringe year. Stay classy. Oh, you owe me drinks". She replied, "I owe you one drink! hahahaha. You just miss me already!" I replied "that's wishful thinkin' if I ever saw it. Have a good night, Hope". Her bf had taken her to see another show that night and did all these lovely things for her so here I am laughing my ass off, knowing she had literally just left my place.

    So, now the question is...what now? I want to fark her more. It's been three days, and I haven't heard anything, but really, I'm not surprised. That's only three days. She is convinced that I'm going to get stuck on her like "other needy guys". But, that's not me.
    Any advice is appreciated!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    Nicely done. Leading her on with a constant push and no pull strategy was incredibly risky, but you did it. I would just say with any normal situation to not tick her off with waiting or jealousy too much, or otherwise she's just going to walk out. However, given her mentality that she thinks she's the best, she's expecting you to chase after her and go into the norm. The only way to break the norm is to just ignore her as you have been doing. Don't text her until she texts you. Keep her in the palm of your hand and playing your game, and she should be all yours.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    Don't date her of course. If she would do that to her bf shell probably do that to you too if you decide to date her
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    I'll admit, I'm not too great with push/pull. I should probably do a bit more research into that.
    I've been told there may be a cast wind up for the show. Not sure if I'll go. Might be weird.
    Thanks for the advice. It's good to have someone assuring me of the steps I'm taking.
    I'll keep this updated if anything changes.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    she probably bored with her bf that's why she done that with you, but after having sex her love for her bf came back that's why she didn't text or called you....... she done all that because she was attracted to you and wanted to experience you, but once she got what she wanted her love came back for her bf.

    women are emotional creatures and that's how they work

    she kind of used you, just how a guy fark a girl but don't want to have a relationship or something serious.

    in this situation all you can do is text her once if she don't reply text her after a day or two if she still don't reply leave her and find someone else but, if she does reply's you know you are in....... it will just take a few steps to make her cheat on her bf completely and become your loyal gf. Women needs to be assured that you care for her more than just sexually.
    Nice guys don't finish last, boring guys does.

  6. #6
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    nik
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    Mark the notch on your belt and move on to the next one.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    Agree with nik plus an added tid bit. She shuts you out for the bf? So what! She had an amazing time, she initiated, and followed through, and she was the one chasing. KEEP HER ON THE HOOK. Keep playing push, add a little pull now that you two are closer, but give her excessive space. If she takes over a week, text and invite her to something daytime, casual. If she replies great, if not, leave her be. She knows you're there just wait for the day that AFC boyfriend says something sideways and she'll remember her amazing getaway.. and may up for another Cheers, and Nice work!

    - Mojo

  8. #8
    Hawksley is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    What do ya know! She texted me this morning. So, I made her sweat it out for another 6 hours because I was at work. Everything seems cool between us. Now, I need to find a way to hint towards keeping things going.

  9. #9
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    Don't date her of course. If she would do that to her bf shell probably do that to you too if you decide to date her
    Yea, I would have to agree with the others. Just because she is cheating on her current boyfriend does not necessarily mean she is going to cheat on you if you go out with her.

    People cheat on their partners for one or both of two reasons. The first is that they are bored with their current relationship. The man/woman that they are currently with is not the kind of person they are looking for. In this situation, one could say that the boyfriend might be a total AFC. He could be a nice guy who showers her with love and affection, who wants to be there for her all the time, and who will do whatever she wants all the time. She might not want any of that, and thus she goes out and searches for a man who is what she is looking for. In this case, it is you. By putting her out on a line, you showed her that she would not be the world for you, thus she chased after you, viewing you as a man of higher value than the boy she was with.

    The second reason, and this is the one that if you find out you should avoid, is that they are thirsty for more. Sure, her guy may be a true man and over the top Alpha, but it isn't enough for her. She desires more love, more affection, she is one of those girls who needs constant attention from everybody in order to feel powerful. She will go around and bang anyone she can imagine in order to get her entire fill.

    Looking at these, you may think "They look very similar. How in the world do I know it is one or the other?" The huge difference between the two is the kind of girl in question. Real women, as in ones without any confidence issues and who know what kind of man they want, will be following situation #1. Women who are insecure, and who need constant reassurance to tell themselves that they are something, will be found in situation #2. Real women will be satisfied with searching for the one partner who is over the top for them, while the insecure girls will be flying all over the place, going for more men in order to reassure herself that she is popular, powerful, etc.

    Reading through this story and judging the two, I would have to say it is the first one and the first one alone. All you have to do is continue doing what you are doing, and maybe even run a little bf destroyer on her.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  10. #10
    Hawksley is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: HB cheated on her bf with me. What's the next step?

    This sounds about right. So, we ended up making plans for the upcoming week. It's on. Everything is golden. Now, since we do more texting than seeing each other, I'll have to keep that in check. She's a lot of fun to text. But, I don't jump at the texts right away and sometimes I'll even let her have the last say and I'll shut up if it's not worthy of a response, she will usually restart the convo.

    Now with the BF destroyer. I should really try and perfect that!

    She is going camping this weekend. So, won't see her for a while. Might not even be able to text.


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