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Thread: "Taking it slow" problem!

  1. #11
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    As Will Smith says in Hitch, three dates is enough to get you a kiss and on the track towards a great relationship. I don't even doubt in the slightest bit that 1.5 days is enough time to get to know someone. I would agree that this is a defense, but as to the kind of defense can be iffy. It may be out of a protection of her nice girl identity, or it can be because she doesn't feel enough rapport yet. I have no idea what was exactly discussed between you two, but I'm pretty sure it was enough.

    Persistence will end up being everything. As Lancelot said, just keep chugging at her. Flirting, sexual escalation, the works.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  2. #12
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lancelot View Post
    . She likes you
    Lancelot why do you think she likes me? because she spent 20 hours with me or some other indications?

  3. #13
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Update:

    I sent her a text to ask her out again but she said she did not feel the chemistry between us!

  4. #14
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Smells like bunch of sh1t tests in here.

    I don't know if you're a bit late to say this but, I'd just turn the thing on her and imply that she's the one who is actually going too fast and you want to take things slow.

    Reversing such stuff right back at them made wonders for me. Just my personal opinion.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  5. #15
    _Caveman_ is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiearef View Post
    Update:

    I sent her a text to ask her out again but she said she did not feel the chemistry between us!
    I agree with wolf, yet again a little test of hers, what was the text you sent exactly? Did you keep it casual or was it a more formal invitation? On a day 2, there are really two ways to go;
    1; Keep it casual, "We just hanged out and one thing lead to another"
    2; Dating, keep it formal and impress her enough that she let you kiss her on a later date... This is not the way a PUA roll, here you seek approval and compliance from the girl, instead of the other way around.

    There have been really valid posts in this thread already and with them you schould be just fine. As X_Mojo_X said work sexuality in the conversation and as Lancelot said donīt be afraid to push and breaking rapport. With the kino, keep it innocent but work it higher and higher up in the escalation ladder, calibrate every kino attempt, she gave compliance, go a step further, she reacted badly, show an IOD, back off, take one step back and continue kino from a small timeout period. If you keep the kino on a friendly level when will she know that you want her? You need to have solid SOI;s.

    As wolf said, it is a test, but at the same time I get the feeling that she might have something true in the test. You have to state your intention. You donīt necessarily have to do it verbally ("You are soo sexy"), but at least show that you want her in your touch, energy and vibe. What girls call chemistry is the same thing we PUAs call sexual tension. Sexual tension is created when both of you know itīs on, or at least that she is almost sure itīs on (if you have more indirect game), but she donīt know when it will happen.

    I remember what I read once from Juggler on dating, he used to have lip balm and made a show of glossing over his lips and say "not that Iīm presuming anything, but in case thereīs any smooching later.". This would build sexual tension the whole dinner and he would almost guaranteed have a makeout after the date.

    He used a SOI (statement of intent) and then returned to normal talking, he didn't do any overtly excessive flirting or advanced techniques during the dinner, instead his statement of intent built sexual tension during the dinner and made him close.

    Oh, last thing. Mystery says itīs solid game after you have spent 7 hours with her, after that F-closing should be possible without much last minute resistance. You spent over 20 hours with her and you havenīt even kissed her! Time to step up your game bro. Keep it casual, do small, innocent kino but work it higher and higher up in the escalation laddand while constantly calibrating your kino, work sexuality in the conversation, donīt be afraid to push and breaking rapport and make sure to state your intention so she knows itīs on and you are not another LJBF.

    Caveman

  6. #16
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Ay yai yai. What did you text her?
    I don't feel this is a shit test. I feel this is a you fucked up at some point test. Either that or she's a flake.
    So, text her back this: U r totally right lol. I just didn't want you to think I was that type of guy.

    Go cold. This is a big risk, but it's going to freeze her brain in space and time. I don't think you have anything to lose.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lancelot View Post
    Ay yai yai. What did you text her?
    I don't feel this is a sh1t test. I feel this is a you farked up at some point test. Either that or she's a flake.
    So, text her back this: U r totally right lol. I just didn't want you to think I was that type of guy.

    Go cold. This is a big risk, but it's going to freeze her brain in space and time. I don't think you have anything to lose.
    I just sent the text that I got on this thread:

    ME: " Hey <name>, how are you? was your day as glamorous as mine? ;-)".

    HB: "Hey <name> My day was very good how are you?"
    Me

    ME: "I am good thanks. Actually I am going to try a couple of new recipes. Why don't you come over to be my taste tester? I need a victim ;-)"

    HB: "Look, I want to be honest. I don't feel Chemistry between us so I don't want to give you a wrong idea".

    Me: "No worries".

    She was giving me tons of IOIs on Saturday. On Sunday morning she was OK at first but then she started sending and receiving texts with some douche and was always thinking and not talking much. I think she still had a crush on the douche who had dumped her two weeks ago.

    She was kind of damaged and insecure so I decided to go easy on her. I should not have done it and maybe I should have gamed her hard. Sounds like girls like it better when we treat them like rubbish. I was kind and nice to her and see what I got at the end!

  8. #18
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Try sending her the text I mentioned at the end there. I may get nailed for this, but I never leave an interaction being the one rejected. In person, via text, whatever I have to do, I will do it to leave the girl wondering.

    There's just no place for it anymore man. You are the prize; she is a flake. Throw her a curve ball.

  9. #19
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Shoulda, woulda, coulda... Always be careful guys, I hear this a lot everywhere I go, on this thread, at church, On the news, even in the restroom "I think she is relationship material" "I think she's the girlfriend type" guys... Stop all that nonsense, how do you know she's all that, you've just met!!!

    You should have gamed her like she was your last game before you retire, game her harder and better every time, don't let this wrong idea turn you into the nice guy, that's nothing other than a afc. I'm not saying that the game is a one size fit all thing, and sure enough you should calibrate your game, but after she told you the stories of those two douche bags, one giving her a broken camera and the other whatever, you should have seen the pattern that this is the type of guys she's attracted to, and calibrate your game to suit that, not to become kind, nice and generous, thats boring, we all know that.

    And by the way, 20hrs is more than enough to get you anything if you was distracted by this "relationship material" thought. Freeze her out, learn from it, game on.
    Nikee --Just did it--

  10. #20
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: "Taking it slow" problem!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikee View Post
    Shoulda, woulda, coulda... Always be careful guys, I hear this a lot everywhere I go, on this thread, at church, On the news, even in the restroom "I think she is relationship material" "I think she's the girlfriend type" guys... Stop all that nonsense, how do you know she's all that, you've just met!!!

    And by the way, 20hrs is more than enough to get you anything if you was distracted by this "relationship material" thought. Freeze her out, learn from it, game on.
    You are very right Nikee. I should have gamed her hard. The issue was that we realized we had many things in common so I thought maybe she would be a good date in future. I know this is very AFC that I fall back to old AFC patterns but this experience was a good lesson for me and I won't let it happen again.

    But I still don't know how could I k/f close her? She was not a laughing or energetic girl so I could not make her laugh and tease her in between. A few times that I teased her she took them seriously. I took her to a bar to drink (so I could kino better) but there was no proper seat and she decided to eat so she sat somewhere which made it hard to kino. Later at night we went to watch fireworks but she did not let me touch her except for a few seconds that I put my hand on her back. Same at night I tried to grab her hand but she retracted. She was not very responsive really.

    I have had this experience before. When someone is grumpy and does not smile and does not get the jokes, it become so difficult to tease and push-pull.

    Should I have forced a kiss? please give me some tricks for k-close in a situation where there is not a high sexual tension there.

    Thanks


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