I need some advice in chasing an NDR girl.
This NDR girl is actually my junior high school friend.
I get in contact with her again through Facebook and I chase her for about 4 months.
Up until now, she has no boyfriend (26 year-old) and so do I.
She lives just 500m from my house but I rarely see her because she's quite a shy girl.
Here is what I said to her through FB
Me: Hi Lin, how are you?
She: I'm fine
Me: What are you doing now?
She: I work as a lecturer now, what about you?
Me: Just silly things, measuring the length of the road everyday hahahaha (I'm a cyclist actually)
She: So, how much measurement do you get already
Me: Do you have Blackberry pin number?
After I get his pin number, I'm exchanging message with her until now but I have quite a problem.
At first, I'm having fun exchanging message with her for the 1st 3 week. But suddenly, she's gone cold and I'm not sure what did I do wrong because the last time I exchanged message with her, I don't have any problem at all.
I tried to send her a message again but she just read it and no reply. I found about banter words through josh pellicier's Tao of Badass and tried it to her. Instantly, she replied again and I started to exchange message with her again. However, after some few weeks. She suddenly gone cold again and I'm not too sure what I did wrong again. This time, I use pandora's box to see what's going on and based on that, I see that she's categorized as either TDR/NDR.
I'm not sure whether she's an Investor/Tester at first. The way she flirts with me made me think that she's a tester (through her pic, almost all her photos are with her male friends)and when I talked to her about my goal in educating youth through sport, suddenly she jumped out like lecturing me not to do it too hard as not so many people worthy of my help and bla bla.
Through this hint, I tried not to focus on her when I start my opening so I use environment/animal as subject for my humorous opening. At first (same like always) she responded to it and we started talking again. However, suddenly she gone cold again and I started going crazy. I tried not to message her for almost 2 weeks because I need to rethink whether I continue chasing her or not.
After 2 weeks, I tried to send her a message because it was a public holiday and I know that she has nothing to do in her holiday. She replied to my message immediately and I started messaging with her again until now.
Things that I noticed during my messaging with her:
1. She never asked me back during our messaging (the only time she asked me back was the first time through FB)
2. She never called my name during our messaging
3. She never started to have conversation with me first
4. When I talked about books/environment/something unrelated to her, she just read my message and never reply. She responded to my message only when I asked simple things about what she's doing, what she's eating, where does she go? With whom she's going etc (She uses smiley and hahaha or hehehe when I asked her about that)
5. I asked my friend who chased her long time ago and he said the response is quite the same.
6. When I talked to her about my sleeping problem, she's quite responded to it and try to help me solve the problem as much as she can. Only during this period, she responded very quick.
I tried to ask her out playing tennis (we both love tennis) but she rejected it and said she already played with his mom and her mom's friends. Looking at her response, I'm not too sure whether to ask her out again. The conversation flow is quite one sided because I'm the one who asked and no feedback from her.
Do you guys have any idea what's going on? I'm quite confused with this situation.
This girl is quite perfect material. She has good family, smart and intellectual (always top 3 during school and master degree in operation management), quite cute, same religion with me, never has any relationship with man.
Usually, when I interact with girls, it's the girls who started asking me out or started talking with me but with this girl, it's the opposite so I kinda attracted to her.
What do I need to do to make her attracted to me?
According to pandora, she likes to be chased and swept off (that's why she's being passive). But what makes me think bad about her is that, her response is quite the same when my friend had a conversation with her (my friend asked everything about her and she used smiley and hahaha/hehehe response) but he stopped chasing her midway because he found someone that fit him.
I have confidence in myself because I'm quite different from anyone else in my place:
1. I already traveled to many countries because of my life as a cyclist
2. I have goals that I want to chase in my life
3. My father has quite a good reputation in my country as one of the top guy in cycling
4. I have my own company
5. I have lots of hobbies (I do all sports and fishing)
6. I have lots of friends in all around the world
But it's all nothing if she never asked about that, she's not even bothered to ask where I'm going to race next, in what country etc.
Any advice or suggestion?