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Thread: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

  1. #11
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    Amen on what Batman said. I actually like to think about the negatives of my game, because when I think about those I work to improve them. Of course I don't leave other things out of the picture, but the whole point of everything is constant forward momentum. I may be a great pua now, but I still like to believe that I have a lot of room for growth.

    Perfection is a boring concept. Once you get to it, what else is there? You know you are at your peak, you know everything about your game, and there are no more interesting things to learn and grow in. Things become boring, and you lose interest in the game quickly. That is why I hate the concept of perfection and I strive to get near it, but not become it.

    Sometimes, as T-Mal once taught me a long while back, you just have to own up to your mistakes. You can't avoid them or play some sort of PUA trick around them. That just won't get you anywhere, and it may even make her more upset than she would already be. Just being a man, admitting your fault, and then moving on from the issue is probably one of the greatest things any person of true virtue would do.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  2. #12
    jman2468 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    Truth it is then. Just having trouble putting it into words. :/

  3. #13
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    Hey jman you sound a bit off when it comes to this girl as in?you want her and you think you screwed up even though i partially agree with what some of the above people have stated ,jafarftw makes a lot of points the only thing is the twist in the jealousy plot.personally i do not go out of my way to do that but he is right on all others.

    You created attraction in this woman notice how she laughed at you putting it in her face that you are taken.that laughter was the laughter of embarrassment.The best way to move forward with a woman is to follow structures and not deviate.as long as you stay in that domain even if you screw up it may not be as bad.it will be recoverable somewhat.

    its best to take this up and initiate contact and ask her out.if you execute this properly theres no way she won't come out.when she does you should go for the kiss.then you may move form there

    The truth
    I lied about having a girl friend just to get to you

    Simplified attraction charged mindset
    I must call her and run game
    Last edited by HardRock; 08-26-2013 at 10:06 AM. Reason: Additional Info

  4. #14
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    "So about the other day...I realized that my statement may have implied that I still am with my ex. It was a kneejerk reaction to what you said and I'm not entirely sure why I said it. You just have this effect on me that, I guess, throws me off my 'coolness level.' And actually got me a little nervous. Shame on you for preying on a helpless man like me. By the way..."

    Roughly this is what you should say. Calibrate this to your personality, since this is something that I would say myself, and use it.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #15
    JafariFTW's Avatar
    JafariFTW is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Jafari you can't be serious. Don't instigate the idea of covering one lie with more. It'll make things way too complicated than they need to be. And for what? To avoid telling the truth? It's not even a big deal. And we should focus on guys being genuine. Because all the best pickup artists believe what they say and don't say boldface lies.

    Yea call her up and tell her. When learning game don't even try to be perfect and not make a mistake. It's going to happen regardless how prepared you get. I've been doing this for 4 years and still make mistakes. What matters is what you do once it's made. Do you kiss her ass and try to pick up the pieces or shrug your shoulders and say "Yep. I'm human. Let's go grab a bite."

    P.S. Jealousy plots depend on the girl your dealing with, how she normally responds to jealousy, and how invested she is in you. Too much of a risk for this situation and for such a delicate technique.
    I feel like if he can master working his way out of a lie like that it would help his game WAY more than being honest. Atleast by taking my route, which is more difficult, he will realize that its not necessarily worth the extra work. Thus moving him towards a more honest path in the future.

    So yes Batman, I am serious.
    -"Dependence is only a state of mind, Independence is a state of being, because in the end all we really have in the world is ourselves"

  6. #16
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by JafariFTW View Post
    I feel like if he can master working his way out of a lie like that it would help his game WAY more than being honest. Atleast by taking my route, which is more difficult, he will realize that its not necessarily worth the extra work. Thus moving him towards a more honest path in the future.

    So yes Batman, I am serious.
    You're missing the greatest point of all Jafari. Lies snowball, and the more he does it, the harder he's going to fall when the truth comes out. If he has any intention of going into a relationship with this girl, he can't keep lying and playing up a fake girlfriend. Lying also violates the PUA virtue of honesty and sincerity. How would you feel if a girl was lying to you? You probably wouldn't feel great, and I don't think I have ever heard someone say that they love to get lied to.

    His best course of action is to tell her the truth right now after this slip-up and then watch his tongue more closely in the future. If he continues to lie and gets caught later, she's going to feel betrayed, and she won't forgive him.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  7. #17
    JafariFTW's Avatar
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    You're missing the greatest point of all Jafari. Lies snowball, and the more he does it, the harder he's going to fall when the truth comes out. If he has any intention of going into a relationship with this girl, he can't keep lying and playing up a fake girlfriend. Lying also violates the PUA virtue of honesty and sincerity. How would you feel if a girl was lying to you? You probably wouldn't feel great, and I don't think I have ever heard someone say that they love to get lied to.

    His best course of action is to tell her the truth right now after this slip-up and then watch his tongue more closely in the future. If he continues to lie and gets caught later, she's going to feel betrayed, and she won't forgive him.
    Swag I agree with you completely. and im afraid your misunderstanding me. I'm not telling him to always lie. I'm telling him to endure the unnecessary task of lying his way out of this certain situation...so in the future he will have a reason to be honest and will naturally take that route. Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way
    -"Dependence is only a state of mind, Independence is a state of being, because in the end all we really have in the world is ourselves"

  8. #18
    JafariFTW's Avatar
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    I totally realized this is a Mrs.Right thread...I was on the Mrs. Right Now wavelength. Dont take my advice...but remember it for later.
    -"Dependence is only a state of mind, Independence is a state of being, because in the end all we really have in the world is ourselves"

  9. #19
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    Lies can become addictive dudes, especially if they work.

    And at the most dangerous point, it'll blow up in your face just like that. Been there done that. Lost many friends. Ugly.

    Sure you could lie more, add on to this, make this girl yours with an awesomely plotted jealousy scenario and all. But is it worth it, will the conscience be okay with a relationship based on lies? I mean basically, this I see, wasn't even a lie lol. At least it was not intended. So no need to make it worse.

    Perfect advice has already been given, but I just felt like I should state my opinion as well. Cheers.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  10. #20
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I told a girl I'm in a relationship.

    I totally realized this is a Mrs.Right thread...I was on the Mrs. Right Now wavelength. Dont take my advice...but remember it for later.
    Jafaris advice should be taken into consideration in this dynamic because he is being REAL.There is no way round this in this situation apart from framing it properly.Telling the truth is well WHACK.it wont net the results capturing a girl who indirectly showed interest in you.


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