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  1. #1
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Dating Blueprint

    Hi experts,
    I am not sure if this thread is the right place to post this message so apologies if it's not.

    As I said before I am getting better and better in Day Game so that my approach anxiety is zero and I can 2-3 numbers of every 10 approaches. That said my massive sticking point is the first date. I have been on many dates but I have not managed to get a second one.

    I met a guy who has a PUA Training company in Sydney and he said he could fix it for me. Then he told me that on every first date I have to tho these things:

    1- Pick a location that I am comfortable with (e.g. I know the area).

    2- Give a warm welcome such as hugging when I meet the girl and say "good to see you".

    3- Five to 10 minutes small talks about her day and work etc.

    4- 30 minutes talk about various subjects such as travel, passions, hobbies, etc.

    5- 15 minutes romantic talk such as "what type of guy do you like".

    6- Give another hug and good bye!

    Well I think this sounds very boring and is actually what every guy does. If a girl is chased by several guys I need to stand out somehow.

    Yesterday I tried this blueprint on a girl and I just landed in her friend zone very smoothly!! Before this I used to do some palm reading or I played some fun games to create connection with her and the result was slightly better. But the guy told me that I had to keep them for the second date.

    Can you please tell me what do you think of this? Is doing palm reading or playing games good or bad? How can I seduce a girl on the first date? I mean I don't want to take her to bed but I want her to think of me as a potential partner and comes for more dates.

    Please help guys this is a big sticking point for me

  2. #2
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    Im fairly new to pua so don't take this as gospel & happy for feedback on my answer

    I think your relying too much on routine & structure rather than jus rolling with it & having fun.
    for me 1st dates are all about low pressure fun (bowling, driving range, rock climbing etc.)
    the last one I went on I picked her up & drove about 20-30mins to the bowling alley, bowled 2games, drove her home & we sat in the car outside her house talking for another hour or more. I cant even remember half the stuff we talked about & there was enough of a connection I didn't even set up a day 2 or try to k-close..sure enough she sent me a txt the next day n it was on from there

    always make sure there is kino though!! And if you have trouble with conversation try calling a few mates before your date n just talk sh1t for a while to get yourself in a talkative mood, has worked for me a few times.

    hope that helps a bit

    P.S Are you in Sydney? I'm in Canberra & haven't seen too many posts from Aus on here

  3. #3
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    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    This structure is acceptable, but clearly it's not addressing your needs and your own sticking points.

    The point of giving her a hug to begin with is to get kino right off the bat. But that appears to be where this model starts to fall short.

    Ideally if you know what you're doing, this is an appropriate amount of time to move through the phases, however if you do it at the expense of running your palm reading and genuinely having fun, you're going to fall in to friend zone, like you did.

    The model itself is not "wrong", it's just severely lacking. I would scrap this entirely, figure out what trouble you have with pickup, and work on that one point at a time.

    This date structure could work, but really it's not one I follow. I always prefer activity dates (haunted houses, kayaking, rollerblading, etc.), they let you play a bit more and prod and tease them.

    Keep your games if you have enough rapport. Nothing wrong with introducing them on a first date as long as you've calibrated and can introduce them smoothly.

    If there's anything else you're particularly sticking on, let me know and I can try to offer some direction.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  4. #4
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    Hey mate
    Thanks for the reply. Well girls normally are not open to go on activity dates when they do t know the guy. So the first date is normally for having a drink. When I was "myself" and had an interesting convo my rejection was guarranteed! Later that I learned some routines things changed slightly. I'm really wondering whats the issue.

    Yes I live in Sydney. Good on you mate you can approach a lot of politicians in Canberra ;-)

  5. #5
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    Thanks Baron,

    Like I said it's a bit hard to take a girl to an activity date when we don't even know each other. Especially if we meet after work it's hard to find an activity. Maybe I should think and find some activity date ideas.

    Assuming that I have to do a drink/coffee date... how much kino you think will be optimum? I've been on dates in which I've done too much kino thus screwed up the date. I've been also on activity dates but I've been rejected again. I have almost tried everything you can imagine :-(

    So when you say this dating structure is lacking, what is missing ?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    The structure is acceptable on it's own, but it assumes a lot of things, like during the activity questions you need a certain level of rapport before you should go in to screening a girl about wht type of people they like.

    Really, we need to focus on how to build rapport, how to build attraction, how to be confident, how to escalate, etc. Once you really understand those concepts, when / how you set up your dates becomes almost irrelevant.

    I wrote a dedicated post about Kino a while back, could probably be refined now but It should still help.

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ino-guide.html

    Kino itself is awesome, and if you're getting resistance, it's probably because you're either pushing without understanding her responses (not calibrating), or you don't do it early and regularly enough. She really needs to think that touch is just something you do normally, that you're a social affectionate person.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #7
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    Awesome thanks. Actually I am super confident! That's a comment everybody makes about me. I am also good in holding a fun conversation and I also have a good sense of humor so I can tease in a fun way too. My sticking point is creating attraction. Girl usually text me that "You are a very good and interesting person but I see us as friends". Sounds like I cannot transit from interest to attraction.

    I have done a lot of research on the Internet but almost every article about attraction is just about arosing girls in clubs! Nothing about dates could be found really.

    I really need to learn how to create strong attraction. Failing at dates has made dating a very unpleasant experience for me.

  8. #8
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    How to build attraction is a very difficult topic, in essence it's at the core of all the smaller tips we teach in game

    Attraction is built by showing attractive high value qualities. Confidence and selectiveness to name a few

    If you're confident already, my best guess is that you're showing interest too early, and not letting a girl "earn" it.

    When you kino, it's not about showing a girl you're interested in her, it's about subtly showing her you're not afraid of her and you don't put her on a pedestal. If you show a girl interest right off the bat and she hasn't done anything to earn it from you, you're not showing that you are selective. If she doesn't think you're selective (if she thinks you want her no matter what) then she doesn't think you're high value or attractive

    Here's 2 other older posts i wrote about disqualifiers and qualifiers, these are simply 2 tools to try to show selectiveness, see if any of this makes sense or if I'm heading in the right direction

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ier-guide.html

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...html#post61758
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  9. #9
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    Take a look at my thread on attraction. It may help you out. Also I'd like to point out that it's not just about initiating kino with the woman, but also ending it first. It helps build comfort with her more if she knows you won't keep pushing, but can have intermissions with your kino escalating and are willing to focus on other things during your date then constantly giving off a sexual vibe. Best tension builder I swear.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  10. #10
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dating Blueprint

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiearef View Post
    Thanks Baron,

    Like I said it's a bit hard to take a girl to an activity date when we don't even know each other. Especially if we meet after work it's hard to find an activity. Maybe I should think and find some activity ideas
    I don't agree with you on that one, I believe that if you can't take a girl on an activity date "just because you just met each other is not true, it all depend on the frame you have from the first time you meet. I you st a frame that you a very active person, and enjoy outdoors and moving your body, either early on during texts or face to face, she won't have any problems with it, because you subconsciously told her that's who you are.

    Personally I don't do activities date because it cost too much and yes I said it I'm cheap and don't like investing in the unknown. So I mostly do coffe for first date and you damn right I make her pay for her own coffee. The trick I found about my coffee first date is that I always do it the same way with any girl, which suppress the fear of the "what should I do or say next" so I can be more focus on the girl.

    So basically this is what happens, I tell the girl I'll be at B&N at the mall checking books out and having coffee at x time, and I would like for her to join me. When she comes give a good hug (no church hugs allowed) show her where I was sitting at and tell her she can go ahead and order her coffee while I grab the book I'm looking for.
    Get seated. Start fluff talking for about 5 min and introduce a topic or pick our last text conversation off or whatever, then tell a dhv story about my grandma teaching me cold reading and I would like to try it with her but she can't blame me for discovering her deep secrets. (run the cube at this point)
    -time distort: asking her what type of books she likes to read, fluff talk and ask her to show me, get up walk thru the shelves ask her to read me some passages she finds interesting, more kino at this point.
    -time distortion again, more kino, come back to the starting point, say I've got to go by telling another dhv, run mystery kiss routine, hug end the date.

    Because I already know my next move, I can focus more on the date, and take more mental notes for further texting materials, cut non adventagious threads and expand the good ones.

    The idea here is whatever you do, plan in advance so you have control of your environment and you can then focus on her.

    Good luck.
    Nikee --Just did it--


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