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  • 1 Post By BatMan
  • 1 Post By johnny_perez420

Thread: When should I re-initiate with a girl who's losing attraction?

  1. #1
    johnny_perez420 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default When should I re-initiate with a girl who's losing attraction?

    There was this girl I was texting for a while who I couldn't meet up with for over a month. Whenever I texted her she always responded flirty and fun. I took the normal cocky/funny approach which worked well.

    We finally met up, made out, felt each other up a bit, but I didn't f close. After we hooked up whenever I texted her she responded very closed ended without being flirty. Then I sent her one more funny message the next day and she didn't respond at all.

    I know I should hold off a bit in texting her and still go out and talk to other girls, but when should I re-initiate with this girl? And what kind of message should I send her? I actually like her and wouldn't mind settling down, so I'm not sure what approach to take. Things were just going so well with this girl and all of the sudden she's no longer interested.

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: When should I re-initiate with a girl who's losing attraction?

    you are at a bridge.when you kissed the dynamics changed sort of you can't just go back to being flirty.don't go afc too.freeze her out and engage if she doesn't comply move on at best.later when you run into each other you can run game.sarge more girls too though.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: When should I re-initiate with a girl who's losing attraction?

    Ah that's a bummer. Can't tell you how many times that's happened with me.

    This is just speculation, but from an experienced perspective. So bear with me.

    You sexually solved yourself to her. Meaning that she knows you want, and are ready, for sex. And that it's up to her now if she wants to take it to the next level. Not such a bad thing if you both want the same thing. But bad if she feels that having sex with you may make her feel slutty or something.

    She may have gotten a bit freaked out by the whole thing and is just nervous about having sex. Your main focus should be comfort more than attraction. Get to know her and let her know that she is special to you and not just another piece of ass. Cliché I know, but true.

    Make sure that you wait for a few conversations before sending out another invite. She can't feel that the only reason you talk to her is to lead the convo into you asking her to meet up (for sex essentially since you solved yourself to her). So be cool and just have normal convos. End them first. And after a couple of them, then suggest that you meet up again somewhere public. Find something fun YOU want to do and invite her along.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
    johnny_perez420 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: When should I re-initiate with a girl who's losing attraction?

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Ah that's a bummer. Can't tell you how many times that's happened with me.

    This is just speculation, but from an experienced perspective. So bear with me.

    You sexually solved yourself to her. Meaning that she knows you want, and are ready, for sex. And that it's up to her now if she wants to take it to the next level. Not such a bad thing if you both want the same thing. But bad if she feels that having sex with you may make her feel slutty or something.

    She may have gotten a bit freaked out by the whole thing and is just nervous about having sex. Your main focus should be comfort more than attraction. Get to know her and let her know that she is special to you and not just another piece of ass. Cliché I know, but true.

    Make sure that you wait for a few conversations before sending out another invite. She can't feel that the only reason you talk to her is to lead the convo into you asking her to meet up (for sex essentially since you solved yourself to her). So be cool and just have normal convos. End them first. And after a couple of them, then suggest that you meet up again somewhere public. Find something fun YOU want to do and invite her along.
    So how can I build comfort via text without coming off as needy/AFC/her emotional tampon? Due to the way things are, I won't be able to see her for a few more weeks now. We both know it but haven't talked about it.

    Everything ive read about PUA tells me no small talk/getting to know each other in text. Save that for the meet up. But due to logistics I cannot meet up just yet, and if things keep going the way they are she won't even want to see me again.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: When should I re-initiate with a girl who's losing attraction?

    Dude, I've actually dated women from online dating sites. And I mean more than just talking. I'm saying that I've f-closed a handful of them. On the first time meeting them!! That means my game was all TEXT BASED up to that point.

    Granted there are some situations where you are better off just texting for a meet up. But that's really when it is super easy for both of you two. Like someone from your neighborhood or class. But never underestimate the power of text game.

    Simply get to know her. There's a little game I like to play. Stupid rules, but the underlying psychology of it is great.

    The Question Game:

    You: Hey let's play a game.

    Her: What?/Ok

    You: It's called the question game. We ask each other personal questions and you HAVE to answer them. If you don't then you have to ask me two questions and vice versa.

    Her: Ok you first

    Start off slow. Things like "what do you want to be when you grow up?" "What one superpower would you have?" or "Where would you live if you could live anywhere?"

    Move to relationship/personal stuff "What's the most romantic thing you've done?" "People are either too proud to stay or too proud to walk away. Which are you?"

    Then get a little sexual WITHOUT going completely sexual. "What is your favorite uniform on a guy?" "What's your favorite position?" "You prefer to give or receive?" Avoid making it about you two or what you would do to her. Keep it mysterious.

    Take the opportunity to avoid some of her questions to build mystery and intrigue. Then just ask her two questions. This has worked for me so many times because women tend to be more open and honest during a game versus normal convo because it's within the context of a game so she feels like it's not her responsibility if she answers questions she wouldn't typically answer. Make sure to leave her wanting more and the sexual tension will guarantee she will make an effort to see you again.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    johnny_perez420 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: When should I re-initiate with a girl who's losing attraction?

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Dude, I've actually dated women from online dating sites. And I mean more than just talking. I'm saying that I've f-closed a handful of them. On the first time meeting them!! That means my game was all TEXT BASED up to that point.

    Granted there are some situations where you are better off just texting for a meet up. But that's really when it is super easy for both of you two. Like someone from your neighborhood or class. But never underestimate the power of text game.

    Simply get to know her. There's a little game I like to play. Stupid rules, but the underlying psychology of it is great.

    The Question Game:

    You: Hey let's play a game.

    Her: What?/Ok

    You: It's called the question game. We ask each other personal questions and you HAVE to answer them. If you don't then you have to ask me two questions and vice versa.

    Her: Ok you first

    Start off slow. Things like "what do you want to be when you grow up?" "What one superpower would you have?" or "Where would you live if you could live anywhere?"

    Move to relationship/personal stuff "What's the most romantic thing you've done?" "People are either too proud to stay or too proud to walk away. Which are you?"

    Then get a little sexual WITHOUT going completely sexual. "What is your favorite uniform on a guy?" "What's your favorite position?" "You prefer to give or receive?" Avoid making it about you two or what you would do to her. Keep it mysterious.

    Take the opportunity to avoid some of her questions to build mystery and intrigue. Then just ask her two questions. This has worked for me so many times because women tend to be more open and honest during a game versus normal convo because it's within the context of a game so she feels like it's not her responsibility if she answers questions she wouldn't typically answer. Make sure to leave her wanting more and the sexual tension will guarantee she will make an effort to see you again.
    Its funny you mention that, before this girl I never really knew much about text game. I met her before and sent maybe 1 or 2 AFC texts in the very initial stages then started upping my game after learning more about text game. Looking back at the texts, I definitely made some mistakes (like getting sexual too early and too often), but I still feel the ONLY reason I actually got a date, made out, and went a little farther with this girl was because of the texts I sent her.

    I've never played that specific questions game, but I did quite a bit of other interesting/unique things in text. Getting a second opinion on where things went wrong would help a lot with other girls in the future. If you wouldn't mind, could I maybe send you some text logs that I've had with this girl in PM (I prefer not to post them). I wouldn't expect a huge essay going into everything I did right/wrong, maybe just some critique as a whole.

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: When should I re-initiate with a girl who's losing attraction?

    By all means my friend. I'll give you my opinion.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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