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  • 2 Post By The Red Baron

Thread: has anyone gone from mid 20's no success to pua?

  1. #1
    hensp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default has anyone gone from mid 20's no success to pua?

    I am interested in the case where someone has gone from little to no success with women early on in life to fixing this issue in their mid 20s. How do you deal with the inevitable conversation of relationships with a girl you are seeing who asks you about previous relationships ? Lie, be honest? I am thinking of saying something like " actually the past few years I have been totally focused on my school and now work and am really looking to meet people at this point so I havent had much time in the past" Perhaps turn it into a little joke or something about how they wont have to worry about staliking old girlfriends or whatever...

    BTW I am such a person due to personality and body type that people are generally very shocked to hear that I have not had much success with women.

    Help here would be very appreciated!

  2. #2
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: has anyone gone from mid 20's no success to pua?

    I didn't have sex or a girlfriend until I was 25. In just the 3 years since then, I've learned very quickly and some friends even say I'm sleeping with too many women (hey, I'm just catching up on lost time!)

    But with all of those girls I've been honest about my past. I never said I was unsuccessful with women, because that isn't really true… as I'm sure it isn't really true with you either. You just focused on other priorities and it takes you a while to find someone you consider unique and interesting enough to spend your time with.

  3. #3
    hensp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: has anyone gone from mid 20's no success to pua?

    Quote Originally Posted by Essential17 View Post
    I didn't have sex or a girlfriend until I was 25. In just the 3 years since then, I've learned very quickly and some friends even say I'm sleeping with too many women (hey, I'm just catching up on lost time!)

    But with all of those girls I've been honest about my past. I never said I was unsuccessful with women, because that isn't really true… as I'm sure it isn't really true with you either. You just focused on other priorities and it takes you a while to find someone you consider unique and interesting enough to spend your time with.
    Thanks !

    Ok your the kind of person I need to mentor me here in the early stages since we are sort of coming from the same background. I have done a fair bit of reading, some approaches, got a number but later rejected (came across as to deperate maybe "can I take you out for coffee vs lets grab a drink or coffee sometime")

    What would you say for someone in my position are the most valuable starting points and words of advice? Any areas to focus more on or avoid (ie day game vs night game, girls same age or younger, indirect vs direct) Im quite motivated here and will do what it takes.

  4. #4
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: has anyone gone from mid 20's no success to pua?

    Ok, so I started off really shy. I used to be Raj from The Big Bang Theory — whenever a pretty girl was around I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even make eye-contact. Now I'm able to flirt, touch, and give the appropriate amount of attention to a girl, nowadays making them into the shy one.

    If that sounds similar to you — or even if it doesn't — I'd highly recommend opening an online dating profile. It lets you practice on girls with a lot less inhibitions than face-to-face, while at the same time getting the occasional ego-boosting messages from other girls (assuming you are prepared to put the time into writing a decent, funny profile.)

    Another great place to find girls is taking some night classes — cooking, dancing, learning a new language, etc. It's a great place to meet and start out as friends.

    Any time I'd ask a girl out, I'd have what I'm about to say planned, including what her possible responses will be, and what my answer to her response should be. I even pre-planned date questions and interactions. This may be excessive for you but I didn't do well on the spur of the moment due to my history of clamming up, so knowing in advance what to say helped me immensely. Now I'm more comfortable it just comes to me naturally.

    Very early on I faced my biggest fear. I made a cold approach to a girl on the street. I noticed a girl make extended eye contact with me but I kept walking. Eventually I realized I would regret it more if I let her walk away, so I ran back down the street to find her and ask her on a date. I was out of breath and shaking but she actually said yes. I've done it several times since then, sometimes I get a no, sometimes a yes, but each time I noticed myself get a little bit better and more comfortable at it. After facing this extreme, nothing else seems that daunting anymore.

    I started out on the same understanding as you— that I was a beginner and success required a lot of patience. So start out like I did and consider any girl you talk to, or anything you say, just a practice run. It's a way to develop your skills for when you truly need them, and a way to become more familiar with those situations. Ultimately, the key about being a PUA is nothing to do with following rules and techniques, it's about being comfortable around women. Better yourself at that and you'll have the keys to the castle.

    If you ever need any more help or advice, I've found everyone on these forums are a great help, and you can also private message me personally.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: has anyone gone from mid 20's no success to pua?

    I slept with maybe 3 girls by the time I was like 22 (6 years ago) now I'm confident, social, and have my pick of girls (with an awesome one now for about 8 months)

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying you were insecure or shy before.

    Saying you were too busy or focused on other things is a cheap cover up and it's worse than just admitting the truth.

    I used to be a chump afraid to open girls, ask for a number, or make a move, and if they ask, that's exactly what I tell em. I never really figured out confidence and social dynamics until the last few years. That's ok. Owning what youve been shows you accept yourself and where you are, it's confident and alpha.

    People are more concerned with who you are, than who you've been.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  6. #6
    hensp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: has anyone gone from mid 20's no success to pua?

    Quote Originally Posted by Essential17 View Post
    Ok, so I started off really shy. I used to be Raj from The Big Bang Theory — whenever a pretty girl was around I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even make eye-contact. Now I'm able to flirt, touch, and give the appropriate amount of attention to a girl, nowadays making them into the shy one.

    If that sounds similar to you — or even if it doesn't — I'd highly recommend opening an online dating profile. It lets you practice on girls with a lot less inhibitions than face-to-face, while at the same time getting the occasional ego-boosting messages from other girls (assuming you are prepared to put the time into writing a decent, funny profile.)

    Another great place to find girls is taking some night classes — cooking, dancing, learning a new language, etc. It's a great place to meet and start out as friends.

    Any time I'd ask a girl out, I'd have what I'm about to say planned, including what her possible responses will be, and what my answer to her response should be. I even pre-planned date questions and interactions. This may be excessive for you but I didn't do well on the spur of the moment due to my history of clamming up, so knowing in advance what to say helped me immensely. Now I'm more comfortable it just comes to me naturally.

    Very early on I faced my biggest fear. I made a cold approach to a girl on the street. I noticed a girl make extended eye contact with me but I kept walking. Eventually I realized I would regret it more if I let her walk away, so I ran back down the street to find her and ask her on a date. I was out of breath and shaking but she actually said yes. I've done it several times since then, sometimes I get a no, sometimes a yes, but each time I noticed myself get a little bit better and more comfortable at it. After facing this extreme, nothing else seems that daunting anymore.

    I started out on the same understanding as you— that I was a beginner and success required a lot of patience. So start out like I did and consider any girl you talk to, or anything you say, just a practice run. It's a way to develop your skills for when you truly need them, and a way to become more familiar with those situations. Ultimately, the key about being a PUA is nothing to do with following rules and techniques, it's about being comfortable around women. Better yourself at that and you'll have the keys to the castle.

    If you ever need any more help or advice, I've found everyone on these forums are a great help, and you can also private message me personally.

    Thanks a bunch. Out of curiosity, what online site did you use, just pof?

  7. #7
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: has anyone gone from mid 20's no success to pua?

    Quote Originally Posted by hensp View Post
    Thanks a bunch. Out of curiosity, what online site did you use, just pof?
    POF tends to have more attractive but dumb girls, OKCupid tends to have smarter girls but harder to find the prettier ones. Other than that, both are pretty good!


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