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  1. #1
    Jajo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Lightbulb Attraction lost after I start speaking....

    I will approach a woman I have made good eye contact with. She will almost always turn to me and or greet my approach with a smile. After we say hello and I ask one question or make a statement, on my next question or statement the energy dwindles and so does her smile. This continues until its like pulling teeth to get her to talk to me. Not sure why this is happening. Anybody else have a similar experience, what was the problem? How did you remedy?

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Attraction lost after I start speaking....

    You find better openers to work with. You make sure you're not showing her interest before she earns it. You avoid interview questions. You work on whatever the heck your sticking point is, which this post doesn't actually give us any information about.

    How much game have you read? Do you understand the whole attraction process? Always happy to point you in the right direction, but ya gotta give us more.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Attraction lost after I start speaking....

    How is your body language during the conversation?

    How is the tonality of your voice during the conversation? Do speak the words quickly , slowly ? All of it will affect your delivery, It's just not what you say but HOW you say it.

    To figure out what you're doing wrong have a wingman video your interactions with females. When you don't have a wingman you should voice record your interaction with females. Review the recordings and critique yourself. Make the proper adjustments and then go practice on some more HBs in the field.

  4. #4
    Jajo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Lightbulb Re: Attraction lost after I start speaking....

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    You find better openers to work with. You make sure you're not showing her interest before she earns it. You avoid interview questions. You work on whatever the heck your sticking point is, which this post doesn't actually give us any information about.

    How much game have you read? Do you understand the whole attraction process? Always happy to point you in the right direction, but ya gotta give us more.

    I think the problem is that I've read TOO much and now I feel eternally stuck in my head. My conversations with women are empty and end quickly. Although, I keep trying, it seems I cant get past the first couple exchanges before I don't know what to say or where Im going with the interaction. From that point in the interaction, I seem to resort back to the stuff that doesn't work as if I had never learned anything at all. This type of scenario has happened so much and has been going on sooo long, I almost expect it now. As far as the WHOLE attraction process goes, I understand it but when I'm in the moment I catch amnesia or something.


    How is your body language during the conversation?

    How is the tonality of your voice during the conversation? Do speak the words quickly , slowly ? All of it will affect your delivery, It's just not what you say but HOW you say it.

    To figure out what you're doing wrong have a wingman video your interactions with females. When you don't have a wingman you should voice record your interaction with females. Review the recordings and critique yourself. Make the proper adjustments and then go practice on some more HBs in the field.

    I am working on getting a microphone set and camcorder to do this video thing. Any suggestions on the type of microphone/transmitter/receiver for the best value.

  5. #5
    RockNRollOutlaw is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Attraction lost after I start speaking....

    Quote Originally Posted by Jajo View Post
    I will approach a woman I have made good eye contact with. She will almost always turn to me and or greet my approach with a smile. After we say hello and I ask one question or make a statement, on my next question or statement the energy dwindles and so does her smile. This continues until its like pulling teeth to get her to talk to me. Not sure why this is happening. Anybody else have a similar experience, what was the problem? How did you remedy?
    I have the same problem with high HB's so it's not uncommon.

    Before I came to this site and other PUA sites, although I have heard of the term Alpha male, I didn't equate it with picking up/dating woman but always in terms of violent and aggressive males. This change of perception made me think about it in group dynamics as well. I've noticed this with a colleague in at work. He is nearly 50, married and not really all that physical in presence but he is all confidence and in groups of woman he has them eating out of his hands (he is not a PAU but loves the attention). He also runs rings around senior managers with a mixture of pure front, confidence as well as bluff and bluster. He is an alpha male of the office environment and it's dog eat dog culture. It says to me that if I can master that total front of pure confidence he has then I can have woman eating out of my hand. It's strange but I had seen him as a bit of a spiv but now I see qualities in him that I would like to model myself on. Maybe there is somebody in your work who is the same, observe how he works and see if you can learn anything from him?

  6. #6
    tkc32186 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Attraction lost after I start speaking....

    I've always had the best success just staying high energy, or mirroring the energy of the girl. Quite often if i can get them to smile and laugh its game over. But if i'm in a situation where I can tell its dwindling just tell em you're gonna go find your friends, and it was nice talking. quite often i'll run into them again and continue on the conversation, or she'll give me IOIs and i'll blow em off for awhile then return to her later...

    The things that work best for me are being super energetic, incredibly high self worth, flirting, smiling, teasing... and then knowing alot of people so I can chat with anybody. and then don't take it too seriously, its supposed to be fun. Focus on the process not the outcome


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