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  1. #1
    Totallydude is offline PUA in Training
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    Unhappy Can't get it up, how to not be a wussy about things

    Hi guys,

    For those of you who want the Tl;dr- I haven't had sex with my new GF, and instead we just talk. We've been close, but I couldn't get it up. I'm like a gay guy friend who just talks. How can I not be a pussy about this, and man up so that she doesn't lose her attraction for me?

    Longer description:

    After all this pickup work, I've finally got a girlfriend! I've been through loads of chicks, but none of them have really been as serious as this one.

    Problem is, we haven't had sex yet (we've been "a thing" for two weeks) as I haven't really been able to get it up. I've taken off all her clothes but ended up just having to cuddle and talk.

    I haven't had "the urge" lately, and the problem is:

    every time I spend time with her (whilst we could be having sex) we just talk.

    It's mostly me talking about me, all the time, telling stories about my life, etc., sharing things with her whilst literally sat on my bed. We don't even hold hands, we just sit there.

    David D says that once you get into a relationship, you have to remember to keep on doing those things that attracted her to you in the first place. Flirting, playing hard to get, teasing, etc. Problem is basically there's maybe too much emotional connection, not enough physical connection. Like I said, it's like I'm her gay friend.

    What do you guys think? How can I rectify the situation? Thanks!

    -Totallydude

  2. #2
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't get it up, how to not be a wussy about things

    Be spontaneous and don't spend too much time with her or talk to her. Let her miss you and start to crave your attention . Keep doing the thing that got her attracted to you... Don't smother her! Honestly if she's naked take the lead and be sexual, don't be like " hey can we have sex now? No no it's ok if you don't want to though". You're the guy, you should be in charge
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  3. #3
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
    DirtyOnPurpose is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't get it up, how to not be a wussy about things

    You see that's what happens when you jump to use outer game before working on your inner game.

    This looks like a major confidence problem, you're not sexually confident enough to just get in control and create passion in the bedroom. You need to be enjoying it, not boring her with stories while you secretly beat yourself over it in your head.

    Research all you can that is related to 'inner game, sexual confidence...'.
    And then go more specific in your search and learn about how to be a good mate...

    RELAX and enjoy it boy.

  4. #4
    Totallydude is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Can't get it up, how to not be a wussy about things

    Thanks for the advice guys, about letting her miss me and crave my attention- we are in a college campus and we see each other often. On top of that she asks me "whether she'll be seeing me tonight" every other day. Saying "no, I'm busy" would be incongruent as I'm not really at the moment. Any suggestions?

  5. #5
    Nikee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Can't get it up, how to not be a wussy about things

    My point exactly don't just bluntly say "no, I'm busy", instead if she knows you're not busy and you telling her you are can be a good thing if you reschedule, for example "not tonight gotta finish x project/ got something that came up, but we can see each other x day instead" don't she will start wondering what is that you got to do so important. It can even spark a little jealousy in her.

    Basically don't make yourself too available, and never stop gaming her, keep holding hand and kino. I cannot stress this enough, never stop gaming her if you don't wanna go back to this place of no girlfriend.

    Good luck
    Nikee --Just did it--


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