Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13
  1. #1
    ms83 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 86, Level: 1
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 88.9%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    27
    Points
    86
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    I already explained the story in other topics, but I'll summarize it here: I have this long time female friend and we ended up kissing one day, while we were drunk. A couple of days after that I went to her place and tried to kiss her again, but got rejected.

    After the rejection we didn't speak to each other for about 2 weeks. Then we've met each other by accident trough another dude who is a common friend of ours, and we all went to a bar. At the bar, this dude wanted to hit on some chicks, and wanted me to be his wingman, so I played along. She got a little bothered and left by herself, making some excuses.

    After that she had some issues with her family and we didn't meet for another 2 weeks. But 2 days ago she texted inviting me to a party. I said yes, but after that she explained me that the plan was to meet her male friend and a group of people at a bar first. I didn't like the idea, and told her I was staying home, but she insisted a lot, and I ended up going.

    When we got there, there were 3 dudes at the table. I stayed there talking to this 2 dudes that I didn't know, while she stayed flirting with her "friend".

    We left there and I had to take her back home. While at the car, she told me she was sorry, so I guess she knew what she did, but I tried to be cool, and told her it wasn't a big deal.

    The thing is I regret having said that big time! It was a big deal! That was the first time she asked me out after she rejected me (wich was only like a month ago), and she insisted me to go to a place where she went to flirt with another dude. WTF was that about? I know her for years now, we've been friends for so long. It's understandable if she doesn't wanna be with me, but why do something like that?? I would never do that to her, ever. And she didn't wanna drive that day, because she was going to drink, so what I'm guessing (of course I might be wrong) is that she insisted me to go so that she would have someone to drive her there.

    So now, after 2 days of being depressed, I'm better.. but now I'm simply pissed off.. not only by what she did, but by my reaction.. I feel like I should have said something completely different.. I simply wanna get it out, and tell her what I think about her and what she did. I can't stop thinking about it.

    So 2 questions:

    1) I explained the story as detailed as possible. By what I wrote, why do you guys think she did that? Just to be mean? To make me jealous? Or to drive her there?

    2) How can I tell her all that I'm thinking without sounding like a needy chump? I don't even wanna be with her after that, I honestly don't. I just wanna get it out and make sure that she knows what I think for the sake of peace of mind. But we haven't been talking very frequently, and I wanna do that as soon as possible. I even thought about sending her a big message, but probably it would be better to tell her face to face. Would that be a bad idea? Any tips on how I could do it?

    Thanks a lot for the help.

  2. #2
    TheDuke's Avatar
    TheDuke is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 18,053, Level: 92
    Level completed: 89%, Points required for next Level: 47
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered10000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    813
    Points
    18,053
    Level
    92
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    772

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    1) She actually cares. She was trying to make you jealous and it looks like it worked. That's the only explanation IMO. She knew what she was doing, so there's no other reason.

    2) Why do you want to tell her? If you don't want to be with her then there is no reason to tell her anything. It won't be as satisfying as you think it will be anyways.

    I think you do want to be with her and you're just not admitting it. You can try to be honest with her about your emotions and she might melt into your arms (but probably not). If you decide you do want her I'd just go alpha on her. I'd try to escalate with her again, and if she rejects you then I'd just put it out there, as calm and emotionlessly as possible, that you're not looking for a friend and that you guys are either romantically involved or you're not involved at all.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  3. #3
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
    DirtyOnPurpose is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,106, Level: 19
    Level completed: 6%, Points required for next Level: 94
    Overall activity: 13.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    139
    Points
    1,106
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    56

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    1) She did that because she can. She knows she can use you. You were being too needy and didn't game her well from the beginning so she took advantage of it.

    2) Actually contacting her just to tell her what you think will make it even worse. And don't even think of writing a long message, leave that to the ladies dude!
    You shouldn't let her know that you got depressed like that, just wait till the next time she initiates contact and blow her off very smoothly, sound very positive but don't over do it and say: "I wish I could babe, I'm super busy [excuse] but have fun okay?"
    And don't you fucking fall for it when she starts insisting and nagging again, she's trying to use you and you won't let her. Play it cool and keep blowing her off till she gets it, it was a lost cause anyway.

    You need to get your shit together and try to take this whole thing as a lesson so that you can move forward to newer and better encounters.

  4. #4
    Lancelot's Avatar
    Lancelot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 721, Level: 14
    Level completed: 43%, Points required for next Level: 29
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    110
    Points
    721
    Level
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    39

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    I agree with TheDuke on this one. And you're response wasn't a big deal- in fact, said in the right tone, it could be perfect. My guess is that you acknowledged what she'd done and offered forgiveness like a puppy. The same words, however, could've been said in a carefree and curious manner- Sorry for what?
    Either way, being angry at someone and then going and telling them off really never ends well bro. You will appear stronger and more alpha by not saying another word. Letting her know that you are angry at this point is telling her than you are obsessed with her and have done nothing but brood for the past three days.

    As a side note, the part I don't agree with TheDuke on is what to do if you are rejected. I just never agreed with that needy clingy business of telling a girl she's either a lover or she's nothing. Keep her around and try a friend zone destroyer, or game her friends.

  5. #5
    ms83 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 86, Level: 1
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 88.9%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    27
    Points
    86
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDuke View Post
    1) She actually cares. She was trying to make you jealous and it looks like it worked. That's the only explanation IMO. She knew what she was doing, so there's no other reason.

    2) Why do you want to tell her? If you don't want to be with her then there is no reason to tell her anything. It won't be as satisfying as you think it will be anyways.

    I think you do want to be with her and you're just not admitting it. You can try to be honest with her about your emotions and she might melt into your arms (but probably not). If you decide you do want her I'd just go alpha on her. I'd try to escalate with her again, and if she rejects you then I'd just put it out there, as calm and emotionlessly as possible, that you're not looking for a friend and that you guys are either romantically involved or you're not involved at all.
    ok, I'll keep dividing the answer in numbers to keep it organized:

    1) If she really cares, why did she reject me? She wanted me to insist? Or she changed her mind?

    2) I just feel like if I tell her, I'll stop thinking about it, and beating myself up for not reacting how I think I should have reacted that day.

    And yes, I do have feelings for her. I know that for a fact, or else I wouldn't have felt so jealous that day. But I'm just so pissed right now that I'm feeling more angry at her than anything. You are right anyways, there's no point on saying anything. The thing is I can't afford to keep stressing over this chick right now, I have so much going on this days, and she just messes with my had every time. I guess your advice is a good one.. just making things clear with her and leaving her no option. Even if she rejects me, at least she would walk away, and even that would be better.

  6. #6
    ms83 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 86, Level: 1
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 88.9%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    27
    Points
    86
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyOnPurpose View Post
    1) She did that because she can. She knows she can use you. You were being too needy and didn't game her well from the beginning so she took advantage of it.

    2) Actually contacting her just to tell her what you think will make it even worse. And don't even think of writing a long message, leave that to the ladies dude!
    You shouldn't let her know that you got depressed like that, just wait till the next time she initiates contact and blow her off very smoothly, sound very positive but don't over do it and say: "I wish I could babe, I'm super busy [excuse] but have fun okay?"
    And don't you farking fall for it when she starts insisting and nagging again, she's trying to use you and you won't let her. Play it cool and keep blowing her off till she gets it, it was a lost cause anyway.

    You need to get your sh1t together and try to take this whole thing as a lesson so that you can move forward to newer and better encounters.
    If she was a random chick I'm sure I would have seen what happened by another perspective. The thing is I have a very long history of friendship with her. We've been friends for more than 10 years now, and we've been trough a lot together. She've always been a real friend, so that's why I got so pissed by what she did.

    I'm not even talking about our relationship as a man and a woman.. I'm talking about our friendship. Is like she hurted me on perpouse, and as it's understandable for a woman doing that to a man who she is flirting with, we were real friends way before that. And that's something she should have taken into consideration, at least I know I would have done that..

  7. #7
    ms83 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 86, Level: 1
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 88.9%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    27
    Points
    86
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    Quote Originally Posted by Lancelot View Post
    I agree with TheDuke on this one. And you're response wasn't a big deal- in fact, said in the right tone, it could be perfect. My guess is that you acknowledged what she'd done and offered forgiveness like a puppy. The same words, however, could've been said in a carefree and curious manner- Sorry for what?
    Either way, being angry at someone and then going and telling them off really never ends well bro. You will appear stronger and more alpha by not saying another word. Letting her know that you are angry at this point is telling her than you are obsessed with her and have done nothing but brood for the past three days.

    As a side note, the part I don't agree with TheDuke on is what to do if you are rejected. I just never agreed with that needy clingy business of telling a girl she's either a lover or she's nothing. Keep her around and try a friend zone destroyer, or game her friends.
    Well, she told me she was sorry twice, and both times I said something like "relax, it happens". But I stayed quiet at the car, all the way home. I didn't really say anything, but was just answering her shortly and not really talking much. And she wanted to stop to eat at the way home, and I refused it.. anyways, I'm pretty sure she got that I was angry, that's probably why she appologized. She also wanted me to go out with them the next day (she was going with that guy she was flirting with at the bar, and envited me as well, wich also pissed me off a lot) and I told her I wouldn't go and made an excuse. She actually texted me yesterday enviting me again, but I didn't answer.

    As on keeping her around, although I understand it could be a good bet as a player, I don't think I'm willing to do that with her anymore. I'm just tired of her games, and had enough of that.

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 11,383, Level: 70
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 267
    Overall activity: 60.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered10000 Experience PointsSocial
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,000
    Points
    11,383
    Level
    70
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    518

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    ms83 your delay on taken action is what is causing you issues.get out of your head!

    remember:when a girl likes a guy and he hasn't shown intent properly and she likes him it may be confusing for her as well.don't go afc.LEAD

    Since she is your friend set up a simple meetup and transition from there the longer you wait the more the situation intensifies.this in your dynamic will set the stage where you guys are one on one.when you went for the kiss second time you framed it as if you just wanted to get some.resist the urge to do that ever.avoid jealousy.you should be talking to other girls as well.

  9. #9
    ms83 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 86, Level: 1
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 88.9%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    27
    Points
    86
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    ms83 your delay on taken action is what is causing you issues.get out of your head!

    remember:when a girl likes a guy and he hasn't shown intent properly and she likes him it may be confusing for her as well.don't go afc.LEAD

    Since she is your friend set up a simple meetup and transition from there the longer you wait the more the situation intensifies.this in your dynamic will set the stage where you guys are one on one.when you went for the kiss second time you framed it as if you just wanted to get some.resist the urge to do that ever.avoid jealousy.you should be talking to other girls as well.
    Hi HardRock. The problem is, since she reected me, she is not really being available for me. When I text or call her, is like she avoids me. And I don't feel like persisting, because I don't wanna come off as needy. The first time she wanted to meet me since she rejected me was last friday, as I explained above. And she went to see another guy she was flirting with.

    I'm actually even having a hard time to believe she likes me, as you guys are telling me here. If I had an opportunity, I would give one more shot, the way you just told me, but I can't even get her to go out with me just the 2 of us.. or should I ask her out again, even after what she did, pretending that nothing happened?

    I'm thinking about doing the following: I'll ask her out one last time. If she refuses, I'll just give up. In case she accepts, I'll meet her and try to escalate.. if she rejects me again, I'll do what TheDuke told me to.. I'll tell her I don't wanna be friends anymore, and that we should either be romantically envolved or nothing at all.

  10. #10
    ms83 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 86, Level: 1
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 14
    Overall activity: 88.9%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    27
    Points
    86
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Advice - She played me and I wanna tell her what I think

    Thanks for everyone who responded to this thread. It was very helpful. I decided to try one last time, but I'm not sure what steps to take. Please, if anyone could help me..

    1) Should I call her or wait for her to call me? And if I call her, where should I take her?
    2) When we meet, should I escalate right away? Flirt with her agressively from the beginning?
    3) Should I tell her that I didn't like what happened last time, or just pretend that nothing happened?


    Thanks again.


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Am I being played?
    By ep3 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 01-28-2013, 12:00 AM
  2. Am I getting played?
    By Bravek in forum General Questions
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 12-24-2012, 12:35 AM
  3. Feel like I'm being played!
    By striker12 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 13
    Last Thread: 11-13-2012, 05:16 PM
  4. Help!!! Im Getting Played
    By GucciNobou in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 10-28-2012, 11:08 PM
  5. Played (need advice from a player)
    By markrichards in forum General Questions
    Replies: 9
    Last Thread: 04-05-2012, 07:59 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com