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Thread: Girls that don't Pay

  1. #1
    The Bartender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Girls that don't Pay

    Okay, it's been a while since I've been in this situation and I'm currently not in it either. However, it will more than likely happen again so why not find the answers now.

    I'm not a cheap guy and without even thinking about it I always assume I'll be paying for the first date and completely fine with it. I've been in situations where the woman has offered to pay and even were sneaky about it and grabbed the bill while I went to the bathroom. This behaviour of a woman financially contributing really sends the message of "long term, good upbringing, not cheap" to me and I love it.

    Here is what I've done in the past. If after 3 dates the woman does not pay for anything or even try then the dates moving forward become free things like walks or a museum etc etc. Still no change, then I make them my booty call because that behaviour is a deal breaker for me and I no longer think of them as potential mates, just good lays.

    A very small part of me is wondering if all it would take is awareness for them to "snap out of it" But it's such a sensitive topic.

    Should I continue to convert to booty calls because they should know better or should I somehow get the message across and if so what's a good example of how to do this?

  2. #2
    easyflow is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    How about this.

    "I'll get the bill, you take care of the tip."

    Or

    "I dated this one girl a few times, the thing is, she never got off her wallet, never opened her purse, didn't even do the fake pretend, 'I'll get this one', even on dates that she arranged"

    Or

    "I'll get the cab, you get the tickets"

    I guess it's called going Dutch. Drop subtle hints.
    Just some thoughts dude.

    BTW, did I read a post somewhere that your in the Vancouver area?

  3. #3
    roland777 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    I just want to say that a few weeks ago i made the decision to stop buying any girls anything on a first date, meet up, hangout, etc. My friends kinda laughed at me when i stated my decision but it's been really positive for me. I was out with this girl one night and she basically gave me the check/expected me to get it. I had to put my foot down and pretty much just laughed at her and told her I wasn't getting her meal. She ended up coming home w/ me that night. I was also out of town and went out w/ this girl. We went dutch and I went home w/ her that night. I don't mind buying someone of drink or something you just get better results IF YOU DON'T DO IT.

  4. #4
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    I never buy anything for girls (unless it would be a pain to manage the split), and they never even ask for it, never hurt my game. It's all in your beliefs.
    Seduction is a martial art. Reading books and talking to experts is important, and helpful. But you won't progress unless you go out there and fight.

  5. #5
    The Bartender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    Okay, I've either been missing out on some great secret or you 3 guys are the only ones getting away with this.

    My God would I ever love to go dutch with woman.

    Okay guys, what age are these girls that you're getting away with this? I could see this working with girls under 25 maybe but man I'm wondering if a professional woman in her late 20's or higher would think I'm cheap for doing that on a first date?

    I might try this on a 2nd or 3rd date but there is something in by gut telling me it would produce more DLV.

  6. #6
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    It is not DLV.

    These girls are used to AFCs fawning over them and trying to buy their affection. You show them you're different. You show them that you're someone used to girls pursuing you who doesn't have to buy them stuff all the time.

    If you really feel obliged to pay, tell her something like, okay I got dinner but you owe me a drink. Then she'll buy the first round.

    But just to re-iterate, all 3 of these guys are right. You will have more success if you don't buy her stuff.

    I went on a first date with a girl, solid 9.5 and was heavily pursued, within 2 minutes she asked me to buy her a shot
    (I laughed) "You are not milking me for drinks already, you first"
    Girl looked at me for a second, "Okay, what would you like?"

    She bought several rounds that night. I did split the cab fare back to her place later however (even though she offered).

    You just gotta make the expectation clear up front. If you buy 2 dates without telling them they're gonna have to pull their weight, they won't even try.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #7
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    And think about it this way: if you go to a bar with a guy friend, do you invite him? Buy him shots every time he starts speaking to someone else? Does it feel weird when you propose to split?

    Nope.

    If you strongly believe that it's normal to split, it won't feel awkward at all. And if she even suggests that I pay for her, my reaction will just be a really genuinely surprised "huh? why? " Same reaction than if a guy friend wanted me to pay for him, I would just wonder wtf he is saying haha
    Seduction is a martial art. Reading books and talking to experts is important, and helpful. But you won't progress unless you go out there and fight.

  8. #8
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    This is my post in another thread on how i get a girl to share the bill.

    I will grab the bill and say, "You know I think I will cover the bill today. You cover the tip.... or we can switch and I'll cover the tip (wink)".

    She will laugh and choose to cover the tip.One exception, I did have a girl who is a pharmacist tell me that she will cover the bill and the tip. I told her that I will do the same on the next date. Now, you have a second date commitment. We still hookup about once a month.

    Basically you can save yourself 20% and come across as an Alpha.

    Here is the link to my original post:

    http://www.puaforums.com/ask-expert/...rt-needed.html

  9. #9
    The Bartender is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    Well this blew up in my face. I might try again with a different girl but this advice costs me a good lay.

    First date went out for wine, cheap night about 35 all in. We were mid conversation when the bill arrived, I ignored it and kept on topic. She didn't even attempt to pay so I did. I think for a first date it is common. K-closed

    Second date was glow bowling. They serve booze. I asked if she was down for having a few drinks while we bowl. She said yes. I said cool I'll take care of the bowling why don't you grab a couple drinks. Bowling was fun, everything went well. Brought her back to my place, finger banged her, went down on her and got good head back. On the way home she got quite and left the car quickly with a half ass kiss.

    I call 3 days later and left a funny message. 2 days later she said she was seeing someone else and it got serious. I called her on it being a lie and I could tell something was wrong at the end of the night. Essentially she tells me via text that she wasn't seeing anyone else and her reason for not wanting to see me was because I hesitated to pay for bowling when there was no after dinner involved and suggested she grab a couple drinks.

    How farked up is that. I had to flip the frame and say I don't associate with gold diggers, I hate burning a bridge but there was no mention of a dinner afterwards.

  10. #10
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls that don't Pay

    See it that way: you kept your ground, you didn't do something that you didn't believed in, and you are not seeing anymore someone who believes in something you're against

    It's a good thing.

    You don't want to date a girl who demands that you do stuff against your convictions. If you had paid everything on that night, you would have had to keep on paying everything for every other night. You would basically sell yourself and your beliefs just to get laid, and that would be lame.

    You lost someone who wants something different than what you want, and she lost someone who wants someone different than what she wants, so overall it's better for the both of you It sucks right now, but be confident that it makes you a better person - and it will get you laid with better girls
    Seduction is a martial art. Reading books and talking to experts is important, and helpful. But you won't progress unless you go out there and fight.


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