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Thread: Need help with a potential one it is at work

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    If I understood you correctly I have to let her do the pursuing? That is not a problem for me not to lead, but can I amplify her pursuing as otherwise I will grow old before I get anywhere with her?
    oftentimes, girls friend zone guys because they are pushing too hard, when they should be patient, developing any real relationship takes time and shared experience. to often guys push for sex when they should be letting the woman do more of the work. if she isn't making more effort than you are towards the relationship then you are working too hard.

  2. #12
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    I had the same situiation recently with an NDR. Pushing and pulling farked her up so I would continue with that but she 'regenerates' very quick because she unlike 99% of people finds her self esteem from inside herself and most likely has a lot of men flirt with her,and i'm serious when i say this, for her personality. So you have to keep a constant alpha frame. NEVER brake, she is as alpha as you are, if you do she will see it and take advantage of it the same second and you'll be back to ground zero and you have to out alpha her. Roll offs work wonders the most she'll be begging you to come back I promise. I'm going to spit some truth at you. What I really recommend you do though is analye her, is she really worth it? Mine had me fooled, she had such a strong frame and such self confidence that i really beleived she was all that + a piece of cake . But in the end she wasn't, she was nice and better than most but not worth all of what i did, that is the main issu she needs to see you are over trying for her. However, this doesn't have to mean go AFC.


    Xavier, am not breaking my alpha status... which did cause the rapport to break... she kind of sees me a bit of an asshole now, but I had to change my attitude to get out of the friendzone. IOIs are still there so no worries J Nevertheless you are right that she is alpha, but fortunately for me I am more alpha than she

    I did analyze her... have known her for over a year now... and yes she is worth it.


    Anyway you mention that roll offs work wonders. What are roll offs?

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    oftentimes, girls friend zone guys because they are pushing too hard, when they should be patient, developing any real relationship takes time and shared experience. to often guys push for sex when they should be letting the woman do more of the work. if she isn't making more effort than you are towards the relationship then you are working too hard.

    Yes I am well aware that guys push too hard. She isn’t making any effort towards a relationship. It is just flirting for now, IOIs and trying to get me to do stuff for her which I say NO to. So yes I am giving her a hard time.

    Xavier and Meteora, it is weird with all the IOIs I would’ve thought that she will be a piece of cake, but she ain't. I received less IOIs mamy times from a girl and still hooked up, but with her it is difficult. With her I am stuck.
    Make the impossible possible!

  3. #13
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    She really is alpha and it seems to me that she is trying to catch up to my level of alphaness. If she is getting more alpha that is very good, as her AFC bf will be even more of a AFC. I have handled very alpha females before so I will manage.
    Also it seems like the interactions are a lot more intense now and I would even say that she is even challenging me.
    E.g.:
    I walk by and she says
    She: Your boots are making hell of a noise
    Me: You’ve got a hole in your pantyhose
    and I walk to a different room

    What I missed out on explaining that she has more to lose than me. If anything would ever mess up in a relation with her she would be the one to lose a job that she loves, so it could be that she is very cautious.
    Make the impossible possible!

  4. #14
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    I've said it in my previous reply she wants to feel like you're going the extra mile for her.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  5. #15
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Ok, and you think I will not get friendzoned this time round? Or the other way round what should I do?
    Make the impossible possible!

  6. #16
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    You will get friendzoned, you can put her in it before she does you but, the NDR never cheats. So you have to use the bfd technique
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  7. #17
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Xavier, you have been spot on with your analysis. When you talk about her you are right with her. You are very correct that she would never cheat. But can you please explain because I am a little confused?
    I guess I misunderstood you when you said that I have to be over trying. I guess you did not mean that I has to be over, from my side, in trying, but that I have to go even further in trying for her and she has to feel this. Is this what you mean by a "roll off"? Yet at the same time I have to stay alpha.

    When you say that I will get friend zoned to mean that it I should get friendzoned? I do not want to get friendzoned!
    Make the impossible possible!

  8. #18
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    1-Friendzone her
    2-Keep building attraction via specific complements + roll offs
    3-Click the hyper link on roll offs
    4-Things that will make her feel that you are doing an effort for her are things like: if she wants to get coffe you say hey i'll walk with you... um if she wants to get a smoke go out with her. Subtle things you do tha make her think you are doing them to get rapport with her.
    5-Rmember she thinks VERY highyly of herself if you are pro negging neg if not show extremly high value and extrem willingness to walk away,
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  9. #19
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    1-Friendzone her
    2-Keep building attraction via specific complements + roll offs
    3-Click the hyper link on roll offs
    4-Things that will make her feel that you are doing an effort for her are things like: if she wants to get coffe you say hey i'll walk with you... um if she wants to get a smoke go out with her. Subtle things you do tha make her think you are doing them to get rapport with her.
    5-Rmember she thinks VERY highyly of herself if you are pro negging neg if not show extremly high value and extrem willingness to walk away,

    So the deal breaker would be:
    1. Friendzone her - ok that is easy
    2. BFD on her - had a mediocre effect on her the one time that I did it, but ok, I will work on this one.
    3. Quit my current relationship to make myself available.
    4. Roll off - Give her the impression that I will not be single for too long? Correct me on this one please.
    5. Neg - I guess I am good at negging. Negs are somewhat similar to Cocky & Funny. She has also started to neg me.
    6. DHV - am doing this anyway and normally I do not need to do more with other girls, but with her it really did not have an impact.
    7. Demonstrate willingness to walk away
    Make the impossible possible!

  10. #20
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    2-Maybe she didn't want to open up about it
    4- Give her the impression that you want her more than the rest. Make sure she knows you have a rest. Get it?
    6-She's used to HVMs that's why
    Here is something for you to work on. She will never open up unless you do first. Talk about yourself and wait for her to do the same, qualify her when she does.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.


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