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Thread: Need help with a potential one it is at work

  1. #61
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    some girls (especially girls like the ndr) (though I hate categorizing woman like that) will show interest in guys to get the things they want, when they can't manipulate you by just showing interest it scares them so they try to use even more interest to break you, the trick is stay cool and ride things out, eventually the girl will realize how poorly her "common tactic" is working on you and that will cause her to realize you're not like the rest (she probably has already realized that with you, but she's in denial because of her bf)

    it may be a long battle for you. its important to replenish your inner game by seeing other girls (girls like the ndr can sometimes effect your self esteem badly, because they never give you any satisfaction/victory, despite the appearance of it.)
    You and Xavier are right again about how NDRs can fark us over! Gave her the could shoulder today. Couldn't deal with it today. Would've otherwise gone AFC. Me friendzoning her and being cold did have an effect on her. She asked whether everything was alright. I just said yes and ignored her.
    Spot on Meteora.... need to game someone else to get the "NDR-it-is" out of my head and to get that inner strength back up.

    Don't really know if she does realize that I am different, but honestly need to recharge myself. It really is incredible that after break from gaming it is hard to get back.
    What is not making it any easier is the break up ahead of me with my current girlfriend, but it needs to be done.
    Make the impossible possible!

  2. #62
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Short update... we talked today to clean the air between us and we are kind of in the friendzone... why only kind of because I still got IOIs from her, but she keeps on denying them. E.g. dropped her off home and kissed her on the cheek. She blushed and said that it is the first time that I kissed her. Which girl blushes from a simple goodbye kiss, on the cheek, from a friend? It wasn't the first time I kissed her on her cheek, but somehow it did do it differently. Like my body language was that of an alpha male moving in confidence and naturality.
    Told her that we shouldn't talk about it now as her possessive bf is just round the corner. We parted laughing!

    I also told her to kino me more ....she said that she will work on it and I have to tell her when I want a hug or to be close to her Did the handhold compliance test and yes there was compliance.

    However I think that I pushed it too much in the friendzone, but as there are IOIs and jealousy from her side I should be able to remedy that once she is single. Did it before, so it can be undone!

    The best thing: THE BFD seems to be having an effect. Seems to me that it is not a question of whether she will break up with him, but a question of when! She did admit that she does see his faults, possessiveness and neediness now. She said that she nearly broke up with him this weekend.

    Nevertheless I still need to game other girls in order not to loose the progress!
    Make the impossible possible!

  3. #63
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    The best thing: THE BFD seems to be having an effect. Seems to me that it is not a question of whether she will break up with him, but a question of when! She did admit that she does see his faults, possessiveness and neediness now. She said that she nearly broke up with him this weekend.
    You're welcome brother just one more thing. DON'T BREAK YOUR FRAME !!!!!! She is strong and independent wants male attention but doesn't need it that's the mystery behind her appeal
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  4. #64
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    You're welcome brother just one more thing. DON'T BREAK YOUR FRAME !!!!!! She is strong and independent wants male attention but doesn't need it that's the mystery behind her appeal
    Thanks Xavier, but her second thoughts about him only lasted a couple of days. Today again she seemed keen on continuing her relationship.

    Did some push pull today, but it really did not seem to have an effect on her. As she wants the attention should I freeze out for a while?
    Make the impossible possible!

  5. #65
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    don't freeze her out. even though it may seem like the logical thing to do, it usually hurts any progress you've made. (and it seems to me that you are progressing with her) I must warn you though about the boyfriend, they are going through what I like to call "fight and fun cycles", that is that this dis-interest followed by interest in her bf is caused by a push pull he is probably using on her (wether or not its intentional) every time they get into a fight and then make up to each other, fractionation increases their bond. what you want to wait for is a longer cycle of fight so that you can use the bf destroyer more times in between cycles. during this time, you should also be using push pull to create your own "fight and fun cycles" so you can use fractionation to your advantage.
    the stronger the fractionation, the stronger your emotional connection will be.

  6. #66
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    don't freeze her out. even though it may seem like the logical thing to do, it usually hurts any progress you've made. (and it seems to me that you are progressing with her)
    Don't know if I am progressing with her. The moment I think I have made progress she goes back a step. If I were to call say being at level from 0 to 10 (10 being in a relationship) then I would say I am at level 4. Got already up to level 7 with her and then down to level 2 after the scene that she made described in my previous post. So it really is hard (Xavier I think it is the best game I have played so far!). It really is incredible that throughout the whole time I manage to remain alpha (do not really think that I had real beta behaviour) and to deny any intentional interest in her (body language is showing the opposite).

    Correct about the fractionation thing. Couple of months ago I should have used my window of opportunity, before they made up. But there is no point to look at past. Got to work on the future
    Make the impossible possible!

  7. #67
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Don't know if I am progressing with her. The moment I think I have made progress she goes back a step.
    this is what can be so depressing about gaming an ndr (even though I don't like typing women like this) victory can feel like defeat, its very demotivating when a woman won't show much interest despite being interested.

    like I said previously, you have to be detached from the outcome with this "type" of woman, game other girls to keep from falling into the trap of "over-gaming" sometimes you have to back off a little bit and pursue other girls as well as this one.

  8. #68
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Now I am trying to use some extreme push pull and plotted in with some BFD. Blamed her for not behaving like a real friend. She wants to know what she did wrong. I will not give her the answer, but will tell her to start to distinguish between good and bad behavior. And that this she can only do when she will see the bad behaviour in her bf. His behavior is needy, possessive, AFC.... . So she will have to find the answer out herself.
    Some fractionation on my behalf should be happening here. Will update the outcome.
    Make the impossible possible!

  9. #69
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    You seem to be structuring your game around the boyfriend which is not best.you are scared of showing intent and lossing value.men must lead.you may have gotten enough iois.she even seems to care about your opinion
    of her.u have no excuse.
    Attraction game more may have her questioning about him.thats why she seems on and off sort of.
    Even told girls i love them and they still hanged..

  10. #70
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    You seem to be structuring your game around the boyfriend which is not best.you are scared of showing intent and lossing value.men must lead.you may have gotten enough iois.she even seems to care about your opinion
    of her.u have no excuse.
    Attraction game more may have her questioning about him.thats why she seems on and off sort of.
    Even told girls i love them and they still hanged..
    HardRock, yes because I am listening to Meteoras and Xaviers advice. Xavier said that such girls would never cheat and I agree with him, so I need to BFD her, if I want to get any further. In order to build on the fractionation I need push pull.
    I am not scared of showing intent, because I am showing it (body language only). Verbally I am denying it.
    Meteora and Xavier, what is your thought on HardRocks advice?
    Make the impossible possible!


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