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Thread: Need help with a potential one it is at work

  1. #71
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Shes already gone far enough.At a huge bridge

  2. #72
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    I stand by what I said earlier the BFD should be a huge part of your game but not the core of it. The core of your game for this girl and any girl is the same: You are an alpha male. You are the prize. I think the interest you are showing is good enough. I wouldn't do more but what I do recommend you do is to kino when she shows interest. The system tells you to set a frame where your touch is a reward to her investment in you and that is right. Normally, I would have advised you to be cautious because she is a bit of a prude but since you already are kinoing you should be okay. I should not tell you this for it is bad reputation but, I will, hoping you don't get to this point. Before I K-closed my NDR and we had known each other for 6 months back then and we were full of "fight and fun cycles", we were in a big fight cycle she was disrespectful, I wanted to next her but, the AFC in me took over. Then finally after 2 months of constant disrespect from her part and me doing nothing about it. I decided to stop. One month after that, she started to stare again. I then went AFC again and went to talk to her, she said she doesn't want to and never will want to speak with me ever again, I couldn't turn my back to her and walk away. It was too hard. I waited for her to do so. One month of no NC and she started staring again, I'd decided I won't talk to her again. She kept staring for a month then finally I went over her grabbed her and kissed her. I told her I'm spitting on my pride my principles, morals and beliefs. She smiled and said: "Okay".
    What you should take from this is the fact that no interest will be shown in times of fighting. God knows she won't be the one to reconcile you but, it's because you know her and you know that she's had enough that you will go to her.
    As for the advice of Hardrock, I like you but, no. Don't initiate more.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  3. #73
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    I stand by what I said earlier the BFD should be a huge part of your game but not the core of it. The core of your game for this girl and any girl is the same: You are an alpha male. You are the prize.
    Yes I am sticking to being alpha and of course I am the prize

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    I think the interest you are showing is good enough. I wouldn't do more but what I do recommend you do is to kino when she shows interest. The system tells you to set a frame where your touch is a reward to her investment in you and that is right. Normally, I would have advised you to be cautious because she is a bit of a prude but since you already are kinoing you should be okay.
    There is this part of her where she is not used to being touched, but with my kinoing I am already ahead of that.

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    I should not tell you this for it is bad reputation but, I will, hoping you don't get to this point. Before I K-closed my NDR and we had known each other for 6 months back then and we were full of "fight and fun cycles", we were in a big fight cycle she was disrespectful, I wanted to next her but, the AFC in me took over. Then finally after 2 months of constant disrespect from her part and me doing nothing about it. I decided to stop. One month after that, she started to stare again. I then went AFC again and went to talk to her, she said she doesn't want to and never will want to speak with me ever again, I couldn't turn my back to her and walk away. It was too hard. I waited for her to do so. One month of no NC and she started staring again, I'd decided I won't talk to her again. She kept staring for a month then finally I went over her grabbed her and kissed her. I told her I'm spitting on my pride my principles, morals and beliefs. She smiled and said: "Okay".
    What you should take from this is the fact that no interest will be shown in times of fighting.
    It is alpha to be able to admit to one's weaknesses! Have not gone AFC so far, so I should be able to keep it.
    NC for me is not possible, as we do work together, but if needed I can minimize it.
    3 weeks so far that I have been gaming her, and possibly it will take a long time. If it was in your case 6 months... did she have a bf?... in my case with the bf around it might take longer.


    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    God knows she won't be the one to reconcile you but, it's because you know her and you know that she's had enough that you will go to her.
    As for the advice of Hardrock, I like you but, no. Don't initiate more.
    I am not sure that I will be the one going to her to reconcile. She will also have to reconcile. After all I am the prize and behavior will be punished.



    So continue with what I am doing currently.
    Make the impossible possible!

  4. #74
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Yes, and I had hurt her many times before.
    You won't be the one to always reconcile
    Great! I couldn't stick to that frame I hope you do!
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  5. #75
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    I had hurt her many times before.
    So the push pull you were talking about. And the fractionation thing Meteora was talking about!
    Make the impossible possible!

  6. #76
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    There are other ways.Never creep a woman like that.you didn't hurt her you may have handled intent differently.

    That could happen to the other due to the huge tension thats building and going no where.here the girl may go back to her man
    leaving everything in the dark.


    Body language as intent after one year of knowing her and secretly admiring doesn't cut it.Men may lead.

  7. #77
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by Xmrider View Post
    So the push pull you were talking about. And the fractionation thing Meteora was talking about!
    There is a big difference between pushing her away like an amog and hurting her like an a-hole.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  8. #78
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    There are other ways.Never creep a woman like that.you didn't hurt her you may have handled intent differently.

    That could happen to the other due to the huge tension thats building and going no where.here the girl may go back to her man
    leaving everything in the dark.


    Body language as intent after one year of knowing her and secretly admiring doesn't cut it.Men may lead.
    HardRock, sorry do not agree with you. Of course men must lead, but I did not secretly admire her for one year. Just the last couple of weeks there is some interest from my side. And actually the tension is getting me somewhere. I do agree that there will be a point where I will have to take the big step forward, but no it is not yet the time with her to move forward! So please be patient, ok?

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    There is a big difference between pushing her away like an amog and hurting her like an a-hole.
    There must have been quite a bit of tension. Sounds like a rough time you had.

    Update:
    Anyway she was quite upset throughout the weekend and admitted to thinking about me a lot. Did what I posted earlier. Push Pull with BFD mixed in, and it seems to me that the BFD is slowly working again. After we reconciled she is kinoing me more than usual, is off her pedestal, even seeking my attention. My gut feeling is that everything is going in the right direction. Thank you Meteora and Xavier!
    Make the impossible possible!

  9. #79
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    So please be patient, ok?
    Woah man yur outta line!
    Either ways may engage..

  10. #80
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with a potential one it is at work

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    So please be patient, ok?
    Woah man yur outta line!
    Either ways may engage..
    HardRock do not feel offended and I appreciate you trying to help me. But trust me that I need to take it one step at a time. Firstly her and I are working together so there is really no change to escalate. When we are alone of course, outside of work, then I have a change to engage her, but I cannot do too much, because this will destroy us working in the same company.
    When the time is right I will go for it. If you read my earlier posts and although there were IOIs she has pushed me away twice. I was nearly close to K-close, but she moved away. So anymore going on to her directly will just get me rejected. Remember I still have a gf (my gf is away so I do not have the possibility to talk to her) and she knows this.
    Make the impossible possible!


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