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Thread: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

  1. #1
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Cool She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    Hi guys,

    For some unknown reasons and strangely all the girls that I approached (around 10) were extremely nice to me yesterday! That was weird! However, none gave me their numbers!

    Many of them said "We don't know you" and many said "I don't want to give you my number"! The guy who coaches me said that I did not make deep connection with them and that's why they did not give me their numbers so at least I know it's my sticking point and I have to work on it. Any advice in this regard is highly appreciated.

    However, when I approached a woman and gave her an opener (including a mild compliment) she said "You are a kind man but I don't believe you" and she left! And I was WTF! I am still surprised and confused that what was it. What did not she believe and what could be a mistake in my approach and what would be the fix. Can anyone help me with this please?

    Thanks

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    Lazarus is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    What did you say that she didn't believe? You need to give us a little bit more of the story.

  3. #3
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    Hey mate,
    I just stopped her and said "excuse me I saw you from over there. You are so pretty so I had to come and talk to you".

    She said "I don't believe you" and left

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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    She walked off just like that? Maybe she was just having a bad day.

    I usually use "I don't believe you." or "No, you don't." kind of phrases to make girls validate themselves. For example:

    HB: I missed you.
    Me: No you don't.
    HB: Oh yeah? There is this and that blabla...

    HB: I'm so blabla.
    Me: I don't believe you.
    HB: Well I'll show you then...

    Of course, I wouldn't use these until further phases of interaction because if she isn't interested in you she could just say something like: "I don't care if you don't believe, it's the truth."

    Implementing to your case, maybe she wanted you to validate yourself, maybe wanted you to go after her. I think it was a quick test and if you wanted to take the challenge you could have given a quick response like: "You say that to every person that just wants to talk to you?"

    This little tease will indicate that she didn't need to make a big deal out of your approach and possibly calm her down. On the other hand she could say something like: "No, only your kind." which introduces the next challenge. Either way it's now a convo and it should be fun.

    Good luck next time.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  5. #5
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    Thanks mate.
    Why do you think other girls did not want to give me their numbers even though they were super nice to me. One of them put her hand on my chest and said "You are a top man and you will find a top girl soon" but she refused to give me her number. Similar thing happened for at least two or three other girls but again they said "no number for you!". One of them said "I don't know you". How can I diffuse them when they say "I don't know you" ?

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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    It sounds like your problem isn't about making a "connection," but calibrating. If girls are all being nice to you and calling you a "nice man," you're not creating enough sexual tension. You have to start being more aggressive and less of that stereotypical "nice guy."

    My guess is that you come into a set, open, then dive into a conversation right away. You likely rarely kino or touch the woman at all. It probably feels very comfortable for you, unless there is a lull in the conversation. You're likely skipping the attraction stage all together. You likely make eye contact, but it's not an uncomfortable eye contact. In fact, if she maintains eye contact with you I imagine you have a tendency to look away.

    Does any of this sound familiar? If so, your problem is that you need to create more tension. You need to tease your targets more, you need to maintain a dominant position, you need to be light hearted. Don't skip the attraction phase. If you don't know what I'm talking about, look at any PUA book--I'd recommend grabbing mystery method. I made a post about this a while back, on how to create, use, and calibrate tension, it's worth a look for you.

    Once you figure this out, things will come more naturally. Right now you're going for numbers too early in the interaction. By too early, what I mean isn't in sense of "time," but in sense of where the relationship is.

    Let me give you an example of what I mean by creating tension. Last night at the bar I went up to a three set at a table that had their backs turned to the crowd in a very noisy and crowded bar (i.e., they were the only people sitting down). I went in and opened by instantly making fun of their closed off body language and the lack of guys approaching them because of it. One girl acted really insulted and gave me a face that sort of said, "No you didn't." So to get through that, I just held eye contact very strongly and started mimicking her facial expressions. I did that for like 5-10 seconds, and it was uncomfortable. But I held my frame and she eventually broke into laughter. BOOM, she was mine. I bumbled through a conversation, often stumbling over my words, sounding like an idiot, etc. (it was my first set of the night). But every time she had a problem with what I said, I locked eyes with her again until she couldn't stand the tension anymore and would look away with a smile. There were several instances that I was certain I had botched the interaction, but the ability to control the flow of tension and status has amazing power.

    My point is, until you stop playing Mr. Safe, and get to the point where things feel uncomfortable, you're not going to create the attraction you need to create.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    Thanks man.

    When I approach I give them the opener and transit to a conversation. I never look away if people make eye contact with me really. I have no shyness or anxiety whatsoever.

    But you are right, I am not aggressive. However how on earth a girl would give me her number if she could not feel comfortable with me?!

    The second thing is that a lot of times girls are in a rush during the day game and soon they say "Sorry I have to catch the bus" or "I am running late" etc. So I have to tell them "Sure, actually I have to run to work too .. but I am going to get your number to have a chat with you later". Something along those lines. Therefore I don't have time to build that tension or connection. Can you please advise me with this?

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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    Like I said, it's not that you don't build comfort. You should, it's just, you can't skip the attraction phase in the process. The attraction phase is the most important part of the pickup.

    If you've read the mystery method, then you may recall a term called the "fool's mate." It's a chess term that refers to the shortest possible mate. In PUA it refers to f-closing while skipping the comfort stage.

    Trying for a fool's mate isn't advisable because your results will be inconsistent, but it will work on occasion. On the other hand, if you try a fool's mate by building comfort but not attraction, you will never close.

    In day game, you have to work quickly because people are often in the middle of something. But don't kid yourself, if a girl finds you intriguing she'll find time for you in her day. This is the main reason people find direct game very well suited for day game. You cut the bullshit and get to the point. The key to being direct is to express your interest upfront, but to do so in a way that doesn't make the target overly uncomfortable. Complimenting a girl on her looks by telling her she's cute, beautiful, adorable, etc., tends to make them uncomfortable. Try something else, like their smile or their general aura, sense of fashion, or whatever.

    The next thing is the transition. With direct game you can't throw your intentions out there and leave them hanging in the air. You have to transition smoothly and instantly. This is where general conversational skills are important. Try and use an observational topic and move onto instantly. It also helps if that thing is teasing her a little bit. For instance, if you approach a girl sitting at a bus stop, you could say something like, "Hi there. I have to tell you that you have a great sense of fashion, but it's wasted on the bus stop. Where are you headed?"

    Make sure you're multi-threading the conversation right from the start and make sure you're keeping them engaged. It's also good to throw in a false time constraint right at the beginning by saying something like, "Hey, I'm late meeting a friend, but I had to come tell you how great your smile is." This way the target isn't as worried that you're going to sit there and bother her forever.

    There are great sources on this site for direct daygame and I suggest you take a look at some of them.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  9. #9
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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    Yeah it's your openers. Very poorly executed. Just saying you are opening half-hearted. Rather than that "Hey I just noticed you look exceptionally well today so I didn't want to lose the chance to talk to you." Would have gone alot better because I have tried that opener and it worked extremely well. This is covered in the "How to Talk to Women" section under Project Iceshield about proper openers. I have retrieved 30 numbers out of 98 sets lifetime so my success rate is right around 30% when I close. That's not counting the 20 some sets I didn't close to being auto-rejected due to not passing my qualification. I have only closed 78 of those Sets so more like a 50% success rate. You are doing something wrong mate girls never say that stuff to me. Sure I have been rejected before by girls literally walking away after my opening line but instant rejection is pretty rare for me. Keep in mind I get sh!t tested all the time. You are just being sh!t tested on your openers and closers due to lack of experience. You need to follow my stuff and work on having better Inner Game. Remember it's not how "they" are responding it's "your" Inner Game. Regardless of the Cold Shoulder, Iceshield, Sh!t test, Rejection, etc you can always break through with "good" Inner Game. You are not trying hard enough and letting them walk all over you which further proves their point of "We don't know you" by you just walking away defeated. A girl reject me 3 times, 3 times! Before she finally came around. Another one? 4 times and I almost closed her! Another one? She rejected me twice! She said "I am with my Girlfriend!" when I asked for her number! I told her "I see you are just playing hard to get!" and we started grinding! She started following me around! Said "Okay last chance! Number!" She gave me her number! Told her GF it was okay even though she had a BF because she wanted me! Almost broke up with him for me! Stop giving up man plug away never back down until you get the "Fvck off, I have a BF you A-hole! I'll call the cops!" etc takes calibration but you can push it past the rejection 2-3 more times depending on the venue.
    "It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." -Mewtwo

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    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She said "I don't believe you". WTF?!

    Thank you.

    I am not sure if the opener is really that important. I have tried many different openers and the result has been the same. I have picked this simple one because it's short an easy. I used to use this one but I was getting less attention even though this canned opener sounds strong:

    "Hey I saw you from over there. I would have kicking myself all day long if I did not come over here to talk to you. You are very attractive...".

    Also I would never say "I did not want to lose the chance of talking to you". It's DLV. It's her chance to talk to me not the other way around.

    I agree with you on that I give up too early. It's something I have to work on. When they say "I don't know you" I have to find some ways to go around it. I guess the attraction phase is not executed properly so that sounds like the sticking point.

    p.s. In Sydney it's very unlikely to get "F.k off I will call the cops". People are normally too polite to do so. Plus, cops don't care!


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