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  • 1 Post By marvilo

Thread: Not sure if ive been friend zoned or not

  1. #1
    Shadowcomplex is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Not sure if ive been friend zoned or not

    There's this girl at work that I'm kinda into, I tease her alot about sex all the time and and I am very good at making her laugh. I made my intentions known to her that I'm into her on FB a few weeks ago, shes planning to get braces soon. Her teeth aren't that bad so I told her that even if she didn't get braces she'd still be very kissable. A while back she suggested we should go for drinks sometime so a few weeks later I called her on it and we agreed to a time and a place a few days later she cancelled saying she had to go to a party for her cousin that her mum hadn't told her about but we would do something soon, a few weeks later I asked her again and said so when are we going to go for those drinks , she said she had something planned for the next few weeks but we would do something soon, 2 weeks ago she asked me what I was doing for the weekend, as it happens I had to work, that Friday she asked again before leaving to go home if I was definitely working this weekend, and she asked me with such a girly tone in her voice.I definietly think she was up for something that weekend.
    To be honest with you I think she was interested but I'm after killing the attraction, I've been helping her out a bit too much, giving her drives home from work and helping her with the more physical tasks . I think I need to avoid her for a while and not be there all the time, what ye reckon guys

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Not sure if ive been friend zoned or not

    Well you solved your own problems it seems.. It's alright to help women out sometimes but you also have to switch it up. I'd tell her to be my shofer and drive me home( just to switch up the roles. Tell her to do physical tasks for you too. And live what you preach I.e: you said she has kissable lips but I'm guessing you never actually tried to kiss her yet... ( that's part of the reason most men get friendzoned, they talk the big talk and all that other alpha make stuff but they never actually go in for it.). Instead of avoidin her or when you drive her home ask her how good is she at kissing( be close to her and look at her lips when you say it). When she gives a number or says she doesn't know then you grab her around the waist and pull her in for the kiss.. If she pulls off that's ok. ( you'll always miss 100% of the shots you never take).
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  3. #3
    Shadowcomplex is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Not sure if ive been friend zoned or not

    I actually this good be fcuked forever, I think she went out with another guy from work on Saturday, this guy only started a few weeks ago and he is good looking and very cool and collected

    I may as well forget about her , but I have to ask whats a better way to act around her this girl now. I think the biggest problem is that I've lost that authority and higher value by teasing her alot and making her comfortable in my company, I am 10 years older than her and have much more work experience than her so I have 2 choices

    1.Act like I normally do around her and as if I couldn't care less if shes with another guy and just continue to flirt and tease

    Or

    2. Try to avoid her as much as possible, don't sit near her at lunch, only respond when she asks a question and keep its short and precise, I also asked her to do something the other day which she hasn't done yet.I am actually considering sending her a formal email and tell her to do it.

    For example instead of

    Hey her name

    just reminding you to fill in that form

    Thanks

    My Name

    Do

    Her Name,

    Could you complete that task I requested of you the other day

    Regards

    My Name

    I'm just concerned if I go the whole formal and cold approach that she will know I know about her date with the other guy and that I am being phased by it by my reaction

  4. #4
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Not sure if ive been friend zoned or not

    I would say be very indifferent and very formal when you talk/write to her about the work stuff. But stop giving her hand, stop making her a laugh, stop being nice to her. She will realize what she has missed.

  5. #5
    OG_PlMP is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Not sure if ive been friend zoned or not

    Teasing her at work was good. It's what caused the initial attraction, but you failed to pull through with it. Maybe it was the way you asked her to drinks, or maybe something else. I cant say exactly what you messed up on as you didn't give a lot of info on that. I'm not gonna address what you should do now as the guy above said it (just act indifferent but still flirt) but what you should have done in the past instead.

    Obviously she was showing IOI's to begin with and you asked her out for drinks. After she flaked the first time you tried again saying, "when are we gonna get those drinks". This puts the power in her hands to plan the date, when, where, why, etc. You don't want to be in this situation because you'll be waiting on her forever. Girls don't want to be asked when, they want to be told when. Especially girls from work.

    Since she's from work I would add plausible deniability to everything you do around her, especially when asking her on a date. If you ask her out to drinks, make sure there's a reason other than you like her. This goes against what normal PUA says but its necessary to avoid the awkward work environment (or her excuse of not dating someone from work because she doesn't want things to get awkward). I've never read anything on gaming girls from work so this is all just from my personal experience.

    Basically, you want her to think you guys are just going as friends. One thing I like to do is invite her out with you and your friends, but then at the last minute tell her your friends are lame and flaked out, but it'll just be you two and it'll still be fun (with this you have to be sure she won't come with her friends - maybe offer to pick her up but you only have one spot in your car). Just whatever you do, don't use the word date with girls you work with, EVER. Anyway after she agrees to go out with you then you game her in person like you would any other date. You know, big hug in the beginning, tons of kino, etc.

    Text game is huge too, read up on that if you haven't already. It's a huge part of my game as girls (especially younger ones) prefer to use texting as their main form of communication.

    You say you gave her rides home from work. Assuming you just dropped her off and then left, this was your second big mistake. You shoulda invited yourself inside her place somehow. Maybe you have to use her bathroom. Get her used to being in your apartment. Even if you don't escalate that night (which you should), then it'll make it much easier to get in her place later on when you two do go out.

    Ask for a tour of the place. If things go well and she seems flirty tell her you have to show her some video on her computer or something. Just find an excuse to stay there. Then watch a movie, cuddle, have drinks at her place, etc. This is harder if she lives with her parents still. One thing I've done before with girls that live with their parents is say something like, "do you need to get home right away? there's this one spot in the city that i really wanna show you." Be vague but if she's at all interested she'll play along. Now you have a spontaneous insta-date. Even ask the girl, "How spontaneous are you, on a scale of 1-10". If she says a high number, be like "great! there's this place i need to show you, it'll only take a few minutes". If she says low be like, "That's no fun. Here, I'll help you change that". Take her to a spot with a view (make sure you keep a blanket in your trunk at all times). That way you guys can lay out and enjoy the view/stars. Escalate as usual.

    I'm sure you already know it but I feel obligated to warn you anyway. Be cautious dating girls from work. If/when things go wrong, things will be really awkward. AND she'll talk about it to all the other female coworkers, putting in a bad name for you. I would never date a girl in a permanent career type job, where you see her every single day 9-5pm. But if you're flippin burgers at McDonalds then go for it.

    Good Luck

  6. #6
    Shadowcomplex is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Not sure if ive been friend zoned or not

    I asked her out for drinks on facebook when I probably should have done it face to face

    It looks like shes meeting some other guy in work now so I may as well move on , I dont have confirmation of this yet though but it does look like it

    Yea when I bringing her home its to her parents place so trying invite myself in there is awkward

  7. #7
    Shadowcomplex is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Not sure if ive been friend zoned or not

    The Guy in the last post has a girlfriend from the same town so im fairly sure nothing happened, I definitely think theres some interest there on her part heres why and you can let me know if im imagining things or not

    1. I can make her laugh so easily, im always cocky and flirty around her and always get a good reponse, she laughs at every joke even if its lame
    2.at lunch surrounded by 2 other guys its me and only me she talks to 90% of the time
    3.she flutters her eye lids when im conversation with her on occasion
    4.she asks me for help with something at work and after ive helped her she touches my hand and says thanks for your help
    5.she likes every comment I post on her timeline on facebook
    6. she asked me if I was going to a party event this friday

    I do think shes a little insecure which is why shes is so agreeable and laughs at every little joke, but I definitely think shes there for the taking, what u think guys


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