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Thread: i broke up

  1. #11
    BigD80 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: i broke up

    The last few days have been really bad. I thought I had it under control but the pain came back full blast. I'm constantly rolling in my headbhow she cheated on me the guy is exactly the opposite of me as far as looks. All the memories came back how she refused to have sex with me. Also she had sex with him without a condom. She never did that with me. I remember one time when she bought some lingerie, put it on and showed it to me. When I told her I like it she replied that this is not for me...

  2. #12
    BigD80 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: i broke up

    I'm on antidepressants to sleep through. On Sunday she called late at night and sent an email adressing to me with my nickname.neither I answered the phone, nor the email.

  3. #13
    BigD80 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: i broke up

    I want to tell her how much she hurt me and talk shit about the guy and how she could do that to me. I would like to cuss her out big time. But the advise that is given on the forum is , that I should do exactly the opposite. Which means, to tell her that I'm doing awesome and congratulate her for her new bf...in the mental state I am right now, this is unimaginable....

  4. #14
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    Default Re: i broke up

    The reason why we say those things is because most of the time these guys want their exes back. Or at the very least, want her chasing after him to try and get him back. Doing these things will accomplish this.

    If you aren't very interested in either then by all means, let her know how hurt you are. I'm all about expressing yourself and I think it could help you to move on. Just understand that if you do that, it could possibly hurt your chances for things being in your favor in the future.

    I think the best thing may be to write a letter. It'll form your words better and after you write it you may feel differently about expressing yourself to her. And you are in more control in what you say rather than ranting off (which is fine anyways if that's how you prefer to express yourself).
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #15
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    Default Re: i broke up

    Also I would like to add that if you do manage to keep yourself in check and not react to her then she will likely chase after you and perhaps even beg for you back. And that would be more satisfying than exploding on her about all the shit she has done to you.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #16
    BigD80 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: i broke up

    my ex is writing again. this time it's about a doctor bill i paid before i left her. she was on vacation at this time.
    how should i reply? just formaly send her a scan of the transaction? ...that's her email below



    Hi ,
    I know when we were in England mama left you money and you paid the bill for her INR . It's 28.27 euro I don't Wana pay again . Can you send me proof you paid it, as you wrote on the note left at the house? Thx.
    How are you? I miss you but it is what it is..

  7. #17
    MajorThird is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: i broke up

    Wow! I was logging in to open a topic that looks A LOT like yours... I really sympathize with the both of us ;->

    Anyway, the only reason I can think of to be nice to her, is your own gain (or loss if you're un-nice). In response to the doctors bill, a neat: "Fuck you, after everything don't expect me to help you out with your mom. Don't you have someone else for that now?" would do too. With or without the FU. Although you don't need to go out of your way to insult her.

    I'm generally the most polite and patient guy, but I did realize that people who have seriously betrayed you once are a waste of time at the very least. And no matter how hard they try or how badly you both want it, the damage can not be undone.

    Thinking about your ex as a waste of time is probably the simplest way to logically reduce the pressure on the entire interaction (although I know logic isn't always there to rely on in our weaker moments). The fact that she broke your trust so badly, she can never erase that (and thank her for fucking up your general attitude towards women and life) and now she put herself in the rare spot where you love her (I guess), care for her, enjoy her company, but can't enjoy any of it. Her to blame if that makes it any easier.

    In that light, her "I miss you, but it is what it is"ses are just pointless ways to get an emotional response from you. You might go out of your way to tell her that she really can keep those things for herself.

    In the long run, you're probably best of saving your dignity. Do so by creating some distance, so she doesn't get too much of your grief or anger... at least, that's what I try. You want her to feel sorry, but which sorry is that: Sorry for you, because she left you a total mess, or sorry for herself because she lost the coolest guy ever?!

    Well, this might be myself projecting, but like I said: Our situations have some similarities.

    Best of luck!

  8. #18
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    Default Re: i broke up

    YOU DON'T WANT HER BACK. You may miss her BUT YOU DO NOT WANT HER BACK? Buy why lilsting? Because I know that you don't look at yourself soooo lowly that you'd actually take back someone that cheated on you for half your relationship. You're not that guy with such a shitty self image. You are a man of worth, and thus should be treated like one. Dig deep inside yourself, and you'll realize you don't want her back at all.

  9. #19
    BigD80 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: i broke up

    @MajorThird: I am still applying the NC method. Or call it the ex back method. I decided not to reply at all to this email either. As i mentioned earlier, i dont want her back but i want her to really regret it and i want her to chase me. i simply want her to be unhappy...

    @lilsting: Yes, i know. Or rather, my logic tells me not to want her back but my ego(heart?) is still very hurt and misses her.
    And if i imagine the money i invested into her and the fucking house...and to imagine she brings another guy in there cooking, catering and fucking him....it drives me crazy...

  10. #20
    MajorThird is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: i broke up

    I hear you man! And I _feel_ the same in the weak moments. But then I try to realize that the only way out (I truly believe this), is to fucking let it go. You don't have to right now, but eventually you will. Perhaps by that time, it'll still freak her out and you get what you wanted, but by that time it truly doesn't matter anymore, because you truly stopped caring.

    Also, in my better moments, I try to focus on the fact that she's proven not to be worthy of my time and trust, but I do care about her (and also, I want to be on speaking terms because we've got a bunch of practicalities and mutual friends and all that - this is just practical self-interest). What's left of my feelings for her (after a lot of years this doesn't just dissapear), can perfectly co-exist with the dissapointment, anger and frustration. Both are true. This limits the amount of attention you should give the whole issue.

    Easier said than done, I know. But I don't see another way out... Ok, you could kill them, but that's beyond the scope of a pick-up forum I think. ;->


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