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  1. #1
    Spiderwing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Angry Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    Can I just say that the girl I'm talking about in this post has motivated me to spend upwards of 25+ hours on this site? I've only found out about pua in the last month. Consider me an AFC going the steps to move up in life.

    Onto the situation. Without going into many details (in which there is a good amount, if needed) I have found my carbon copy in a person. Not identical (which is good), but we hold very similar values across the board. We're both in our second year of University, and we met through a volunteer opportunity on campus.

    So, we met, flirted a lot. She reciprocates me, I reciprocate her. And the past month has been fun. Before I go on, I'll clarify that we've only been in direct contact three times, and the most time we spent together was that 10 or so hours we had when we first met.

    The good news is that all of our interaction through text has been fun. She demonstrated to me that she rarely responds to people through text, but has been consistent in our interaction.

    So why haven't I made a direct move? Well 1) Not afraid to admit, I'm an AFC who is affected by my past experiences: a very self conscious overweight guy who got rejected at every advance (in which, I'm actually very fit now! and working to have PUA charm) and more importantly:

    2) She is in a complicated spot, but we haven't really discussed it because we're in "the chase" mode. The short of it though is that, the day we met was the day right after she broke with her long term boyfriend (in which I assume was her high school flame). Not only that, but during our unofficial date, she mentioned she was on a lease with the guy. I'm not really bothered by this, because despite that she still went out with me knowing that it would be just us together.

    I've learned all this because I directly asked her out (through text because most of our interaction was on there) on an official date about 5 days after we met... in which she had a surprising serious confession that she was in this spot (it was something like "... you're a great guy and everything but I'm in a very complicated spot right now. like I just broke up with my bf and am dealing with everything from that". She could have easily just said "No", so I took her response as a good sign.

    After a 3 day freeze out, we recovered, , kept texting and I managed to get her out to see a show and sneak a "food date" in. At this point I learned about the concept of "sh1t tests" on this site.

    So after a great night, she had fun (I didn't go in for a kiss since it wasn't an established date), and we just kept texting from there (obvious breaks in between)

    About 6 days ago, our interaction was right back to when we first met, emoticons, smiley faces, exclamation marks and everything (she's telling me what she likes and such)....

    And then, I invite her out to a local exhibition last minute through text the night before (still 6 days ago, I bumped into her in the same day and was hyped up on caffeine; not thinking straight at the time), and didn't get a reply at all. I even made the mistake of giving a follow up text late in the night because I thought I had to acknowledge it was last minute (I can feel she doesn't seem to like that last minute stuff)

    Anyway, 5 days is the longest we haven't had any interaction. And before you say anything about one-itis, I thought about that too... so I went out of my way to get 8 numbers in the past week. I haven't felt as close to any of them.. so here I am!

    So how do I handle this situation? I 've been the initiator, and will probably send something...

    In general, I'm just not sure how to handle the situation. Her. The best approach would probably be to just keep spending time, but I want to get inside her mind (in which my attraction level is just not where it could be), because we're a really good fit for each other.

    SO Experts, I humbly ask on your advice on how to handle this situation!

    Thanks in advance

    P.S It's her b-day coming up real soon. A friend recommended I get a little something for her that has some thought behind it. But since we haven't talked I'm not really sure if I should go ahead with something before she leaves town for the weekend (her hometown is a couple hours drive away and I never even asked about her plans, she just brought it up a few weeks without a direct invite, but since it's so far wouldn't it be an odd thing? )

  2. #2
    Bimmer's Avatar
    Bimmer is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    I would beware of the friend zone or becoming the rebound. At this point, I would probably become the interesting guy in her life. I commend you for getting 8 numbers, but that didn't seem to help, and it could be because you were thinking about her while doing it. Approching or talking to other women does help distract, but only if you let it!

    As for her birthday, a simple call wishing her a happy birthday would suffice. She's not your girlfriend and it's not like you've known her for a long time, so there's no need to buy her things, regardless of how inexpensive.
    I wish I was little bit taller
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    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

  3. #3
    JafariFTW's Avatar
    JafariFTW is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    Occupy your time with the other 8 numbers you got and send her a text here and there to stay relevant to her. Don't panic if she doesn't respond or if her responses are dry. if she happens to send a plain text do the same and if you find yourself thinking about how to respond to one of her texts chances are shes not investing as much as you are...in this case its better to sometimes not reply back.

    Once you lessen her value it will reciprocate through your actions and she might just start texting you to see why you loss interest.
    -"Dependence is only a state of mind, Independence is a state of being, because in the end all we really have in the world is ourselves"

  4. #4
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
    DirtyOnPurpose is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    5 days isn't long when you've gamed her well enough earlier. The better you game early on in the interaction and the more attraction you create the more you can freeze out, hell she'll even initiate back sometimes if you did a good job before.

    So yeah you're going the AFC way but at least you're aware of it, and as cheesy as it sounds. That is always the first step, being aware of it.

    You spent hours on this website, and that is good for you. But not the solution here. You want good basics? Go research PUA and read some books to improve your attitude in general, cause that's what you need in my opinion. You will have quality problems instead of being stuck on one girl that could probably be so out of it.

  5. #5
    Spiderwing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    @Bimmer "...Interesting guy in her life" In your opinion, what do you specifically mean by that? My interpretation and how I'm handling it, is that I'm very involved on campus, getting involved in many events, sports, and campus PR, as well as studying and classes. Do I casually keep her updated you mean? Not inviting but offering?

    @JafariFTW My concern.with lessening her value (it's a good point btw) is that I haven't built up enough attraction to have her wonder why I'm not acting the same. (I find I'm lacking charm) I will note though that there was a brief period of time where I just stopped caring and gave brief answers, in which I noticed she started asking a lot of questions about me.

    As a side note, thanks for the appraisal of those numbers I got. I was trying out the.spectrum of how far I could take flirting with different girls. One I went pretty hard and she rescinded her friend request too (though she had boyfriend and we probably won't see each other again) I took it a little personally, but that's because I'm new to this whole thing

  6. #6
    Spiderwing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyOnPurpose View Post

    So yeah you're going the AFC way.
    By AFC way, do you mean how I have handled the situation, how I'm going to go about it, or just my mindset?

    And you're right, I do have trouble creating attraction. I'm trying to find that one really good forum on charm

  7. #7
    Spiderwing is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    Quote Originally Posted by Bimmer View Post
    At this point, I would probably become the interesting guy in her life.
    Bimmer, can you elaborate on that? My interpretation and how I'm handling it, is that I'm very involved on campus, getting involved in many events, sports, and campus PR, as well as studying and classes. Do I casually keep her updated you mean? Not inviting but offering?


    Quote Originally Posted by JafariFTW View Post
    in this case its better to sometimes not reply back.

    Once you lessen her value it will reciprocate through your actions and she might just start texting you to see why you loss interest
    JafariFTW, My concern.with lessening her value (it's a good point btw) is that I haven't built up enough attraction to have her wonder why I'm not acting the same. (I find I'm lacking charm) I will note though that there was a brief period of time where I just stopped caring and gave brief answers, in which I noticed she started asking a lot of questions about me. You're right in not replying: Why would I send a text to someone who've I already sent two texts too.

    As a side note, thanks for the appraisal of those numbers I got. I was trying out the.spectrum of how far I could take flirting with different girls. One I went pretty hard and she rescinded her friend request too (though she had boyfriend and we probably won't see each other again) I took it a little personally, but that's because I'm new to this whole thing I find number closing is a good thing, though anything like kiss closing and beyond that is well.... beyond me right now.

    Your Thoughts?

  8. #8
    Bimmer's Avatar
    Bimmer is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    I don't mean interesting as far as your lifestyle, but that's great too! The "Interesting Guy" in a girls life is basically the guy who picks on her, flirts with her, has fun with her, but doesn't invest too much time and doesn't really have a desire to be in a relationship with her... as of now. He keeps her on her toes and makes her wonder, but again, he has no interest in a relationship.... until he's ready.

    Make sense?
    I wish I was little bit taller
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    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

  9. #9
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    my first question is simple, why freeze her out? you have no reason to. the freeze out is supposed to be for girls who don't deserve your affection to begin with. if things are going great, by all means keep talking to her, even if things don't work out you will learn a lot from it.

    it sounds to me like she likes you, though I have to warn you, don't fall into the trap of constantly entertaining her. be sure to get her to tell you jokes and stories too.

    also read this
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...eat-woman.html

  10. #10
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Is 5 days too long to freeze out a girl I've known for a month ??

    P.S It's her b-day coming up real soon. A friend recommended I get a little something for her that has some thought behind it. But since we haven't talked I'm not really sure if I should go ahead with something before she leaves town for the weekend (her hometown is a couple hours drive away and I never even asked about her plans, she just brought it up a few weeks without a direct invite, but since it's so far wouldn't it be an odd thing? )
    take her out to lunch, get her a small cheap gift (nothing too romantic, maybe a stuffed animal or a t-shirt or a ten of cookies) and be sure to get a hilarious card that will make her laugh her a$$ off. have a good little get together and have her open her present at the end, don't stay too long after she opens her gift. you want to leave her that positive state that your card/gift gave her


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