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  • 1 Post By easyflow
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Thread: Flakes are ruining my life

  1. #1
    newbie5432 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Flakes are ruining my life

    I'm a newbie to the game. It's going to take a lot of practice to be a natural like you guys.

    I need some guidance. I have this girl I'm in class with everyday who is flirtatious in person, but very flaky. She initiates dates, but never mentions it again when the time comes to meet up. When I bring up the date she set up, she changes the subject/ignores me/makes up excuses without really confirming plans, to which I don't show reaction to.

    On the phone, when I try to set something up, she responds by indirectly rejecting me (rejecting the event), but continually drops hints that she wants to do something and tries to find out what I'm up to. Still, no reaction from me.

    She shows massive IOIs when I talk to other girls in front of her (even interrupting me). Massive IOIs are also shown when I freeze her out.

    Question is: what would a true PUA do in this situation? What would be your perspective on this?

  2. #2
    Bimmer's Avatar
    Bimmer is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    I would take out a different girl. It's great that shes showing IOI's, it's even better that she plans to go out like you say she does, but you're not getting anywhere because she flakes. Honestly though, I don't tolerate attention seekers, I almost ignore them. So in this case I advise you to move on.
    I wish I was little bit taller
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    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

  3. #3
    EliTurk89 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    Quote Originally Posted by newbie5432 View Post
    I'm a newbie to the game. It's going to take a lot of practice to be a natural like you guys.

    I need some guidance. I have this girl I'm in class with everyday who is flirtatious in person, but very flaky. She initiates dates, but never mentions it again when the time comes to meet up. When I bring up the date she set up, she changes the subject/ignores me/makes up excuses without really confirming plans, to which I don't show reaction to.

    On the phone, when I try to set something up, she responds by indirectly rejecting me (rejecting the event), but continually drops hints that she wants to do something and tries to find out what I'm up to. Still, no reaction from me.

    She shows massive IOIs when I talk to other girls in front of her (even interrupting me). Massive IOIs are also shown when I freeze her out.

    Question is: what would a true PUA do in this situation? What would be your perspective on this?
    I would dominate this situation. Do stuff on your own and tell her she should come with you. Don't let her set her own stuff. Show her you do what you want regardless of her. And make sure you don't let her interrupt you when your talking to other girls.

  4. #4
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    Sleath5 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    If she has those reactions, and you've already asked her a few times, ask her another time and when she says oh I cant go (or however she does it) say something along the lines of (Ok all good, I'll just go with "insert another girls name". Enjoy your night!). She'll get insanely jealous from the sounds of it, dont reply and later on send her a photo of how much fun your having, with something along the lines of "wish you were here!'

  5. #5
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    Oh man oh man, sounds like she has the hots for you but is playing hard to get. Freaking women man. Why is this confusing for you? She is toying with you. Now very typical of most attractive women. She sounds interested in a relationship with you but you haven't proven yourself to her and so far she has the upper hand which is bad for you since it lowers your value and puts her in control. She is trying to see what you are made and you haven't interested her enough to really want you. You have to play her at her own game and become indifferent. Becoming indifferent is one of my new greatest tactics for deployment on getting new women. Indifference is well the most attractive male quality I aim to possess You come off as cool, calm , collective a bit of a slob a little bit of a nice guy and a downright badass which drives chicks nuts. For instance I tried this on my past GF and she was wanting me so bad. So work on becoming indifferent and treat her with class but you got to raise your value with her by being a bit of a challenge. Your answer is simple but the deployment will take some skill. Be completely unphased by her as we always say on here. Learn to be completely unphased by her and dangle the carrot in front of her face when she wants attention but don't sell out to get her attention. She will be chasing you if she likes what you got to say and got some skills son.
    "It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." -Mewtwo

  6. #6
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    Well a true PUA wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. You're putting way too much energy into this with the way too little experience that you have. This is always equal to frustration.

    That's as simple as it gets. Stop talking to her and trying to ask her out for a week, manage to see other girls and enjoy it. If you did it right, she will notice, she will hate it and she will ask you out.

  7. #7
    newbie5432 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    Quote Originally Posted by Bimmer View Post
    I would take out a different girl. It's great that shes showing IOI's, it's even better that she plans to go out like you say she does, but you're not getting anywhere because she flakes. Honestly though, I don't tolerate attention seekers, I almost ignore them. So in this case I advise you to move on.
    Thanks Bimmer. I'm already going out with two other girls to prevent the dreaded oneitis situation that I potentially see this developing into.

    Quote Originally Posted by EliTurk89 View Post
    I would dominate this situation. Do stuff on your own and tell her she should come with you. Don't let her set her own stuff. Show her you do what you want regardless of her. And make sure you don't let her interrupt you when your talking to other girls.
    Thanks Eli, I've been setting up stuff also, but the problem is she flakes on her plans and my plans. I go through with my plans regardless though.

    Quote Originally Posted by mackdaddyjacK View Post
    Oh man oh man, sounds like she has the hots for you but is playing hard to get. Freaking women man. Why is this confusing for you? She is toying with you. Now very typical of most attractive women. She sounds interested in a relationship with you but you haven't proven yourself to her and so far she has the upper hand which is bad for you since it lowers your value and puts her in control. She is trying to see what you are made and you haven't interested her enough to really want you. You have to play her at her own game and become indifferent. Becoming indifferent is one of my new greatest tactics for deployment on getting new women. Indifference is well the most attractive male quality I aim to possess You come off as cool, calm , collective a bit of a slob a little bit of a nice guy and a downright badass which drives chicks nuts. For instance I tried this on my past GF and she was wanting me so bad. So work on becoming indifferent and treat her with class but you got to raise your value with her by being a bit of a challenge. Your answer is simple but the deployment will take some skill. Be completely unphased by her as we always say on here. Learn to be completely unphased by her and dangle the carrot in front of her face when she wants attention but don't sell out to get her attention. She will be chasing you if she likes what you got to say and got some skills son.
    Thanks Mack! Your advice really made sense to me. Regarding the concept of being more challenging, the last time I asked her out, she flaked, but calls me back later wanting to go to the thing she flaked on. I told her I've already gone and now I'm back home. She then asked me what else I was doing, but I said I was busy now to which she gave me a sh!t test I completely ignored. I didn't want to be AFC or DLV by letting her hang out with me when she flaked earlier that day. Good challenge technique? Also, how do you be indifferent? Is it not caring if she flakes? Cause I am unphased when she flakes. I just use negative reinforcement (you know the concept of rewarding her for positives and punishing her for negatives) I'm kinda disappointed when she flakes, but it isn't directly shown to her. Can you give me an example of indifferent?

  8. #8
    easyflow is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    I remember when I was in college, there would be girls that would do this to me. They would say "We should go out some time, why don't you ever call me?" So I'm thinking "sweet!". Then when I would call, one time I got "What do you want? I'm watching the hockey game." But in a very cold, "Your bothering me" type tone.

    I think girls like that, first all, are young, she at the time was like 19-20. Chicks like attention, she was probably telling a few guys to call her, which is OK, girls like to have a guy close, and a few on the back burner. So when her main guy farks up, she already has a few replacements lined up.

    I never called her again, I would stay friendly with her when I seen her, but never pursued her.

    To answer your question. If I was interested in the girl, I would call her on it the next time she says "We should go out sometime", be like "Why? Your a flake, I'm a busy guy, I can't make pretend plans with people like you, eat corn FLAKES for breakfast". Do it in a joking/teasing way, but also let her know you are serious.

    You "So you like Kellog's hey?"
    Girl "What?"
    You "For breakfast."
    Girl "What are you talking about?"
    You "Kellog's CORN FLAKES, I figure you must eat them, that is why you are so flaky when we make planes. You should try eating Shredded wheat, that is what I eat, that's what adults eat"

    Don't text it, say it face to face. Open with it.

    This is calling her on her sh1t, it is showing that you actually have balls and are confident, and it will let you know if she is actually into you are not. You also have to let her know, that if she wants to see you outside of class, she needs to call you. Reverse it on her.

    If she calls/texts, make plans, with a day and time and place to meet. If she is flakey, like "Call me the day of, just to confirm", you be, "Hey I'm a busy guy, with a lot going on, if that day doesn't work, we can reschedule, maybe another time". This is a take away, she will either, say "No, that works, see you then", or she will be, "I might have ballet lesson that night" (or some other weak ass excuse), if she has some excuse, tell her "That's too bad, call me when you have an evening free."

    If she says "OK I'll call you when I have free time." Don't call her, she is not interested, chat up other girls in front of her, ice her out. When she is interested she will call or text. When she does, lather rinse repeat - Ask her out, nail down day, time and place.

    But, 100% call her on her flakiness Bro. It will raise your value in her eyes, she will see you as a "Man", compared to the other AFC guys, that keep calling her, and chasing her.

    PS - Always make night time plans, or at least a day and time, where if the date is going awesome, you can get her back to your/her place to get intimate. Generally day time plans are for friends, like jogging, studying etc. Movies are a bad idea, you just sit there and don't get a chance to communicate. I always like bowling or pool, it is cheap, casual, fun, and a lot of opportunities for teasing, banter and kino. Plus if you drink, you can always have a few drinks, if your of age. But keep in mind, if your gonna go to a place like that, don't go to one where you will run into guys she knows from class, you will up your chances of getting cock blocked.

    Call her out on her flakiness.

    Keep us updated my friend.

  9. #9
    newbie5432 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    Quote Originally Posted by easyflow View Post
    I remember when I was in college, there would be girls that would do this to me. They would say "We should go out some time, why don't you ever call me?" So I'm thinking "sweet!". Then when I would call, one time I got "What do you want? I'm watching the hockey game." But in a very cold, "Your bothering me" type tone.

    I think girls like that, first all, are young, she at the time was like 19-20. Chicks like attention, she was probably telling a few guys to call her, which is OK, girls like to have a guy close, and a few on the back burner. So when her main guy farks up, she already has a few replacements lined up.

    I never called her again, I would stay friendly with her when I seen her, but never pursued her.

    To answer your question. If I was interested in the girl, I would call her on it the next time she says "We should go out sometime", be like "Why? Your a flake, I'm a busy guy, I can't make pretend plans with people like you, eat corn FLAKES for breakfast". Do it in a joking/teasing way, but also let her know you are serious.

    You "So you like Kellog's hey?"
    Girl "What?"
    You "For breakfast."
    Girl "What are you talking about?"
    You "Kellog's CORN FLAKES, I figure you must eat them, that is why you are so flaky when we make planes. You should try eating Shredded wheat, that is what I eat, that's what adults eat"

    Don't text it, say it face to face. Open with it.

    This is calling her on her sh1t, it is showing that you actually have balls and are confident, and it will let you know if she is actually into you are not. You also have to let her know, that if she wants to see you outside of class, she needs to call you. Reverse it on her.

    If she calls/texts, make plans, with a day and time and place to meet. If she is flakey, like "Call me the day of, just to confirm", you be, "Hey I'm a busy guy, with a lot going on, if that day doesn't work, we can reschedule, maybe another time". This is a take away, she will either, say "No, that works, see you then", or she will be, "I might have ballet lesson that night" (or some other weak ass excuse), if she has some excuse, tell her "That's too bad, call me when you have an evening free."

    If she says "OK I'll call you when I have free time." Don't call her, she is not interested, chat up other girls in front of her, ice her out. When she is interested she will call or text. When she does, lather rinse repeat - Ask her out, nail down day, time and place.

    But, 100% call her on her flakiness Bro. It will raise your value in her eyes, she will see you as a "Man", compared to the other AFC guys, that keep calling her, and chasing her.

    PS - Always make night time plans, or at least a day and time, where if the date is going awesome, you can get her back to your/her place to get intimate. Generally day time plans are for friends, like jogging, studying etc. Movies are a bad idea, you just sit there and don't get a chance to communicate. I always like bowling or pool, it is cheap, casual, fun, and a lot of opportunities for teasing, banter and kino. Plus if you drink, you can always have a few drinks, if your of age. But keep in mind, if your gonna go to a place like that, don't go to one where you will run into guys she knows from class, you will up your chances of getting cock blocked.

    Call her out on her flakiness.

    Keep us updated my friend.

    Thanks for the answer Easyflow. I froze her out for her flaky behavior, and now she is just cold to me. There's a cockblock involved that's telling her what to do. The cockblock (a girl that's my backstabbing friend) is trying to get my social circle to freeze me out, which is happening. Suggestions anyone?

  10. #10
    easyflow is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Flakes are ruining my life

    Are you in high school or college? The group is icing you out? I would suggest that the cock blocking gf is jealous. She probably is into you, or never gets guys cuz she may not be considered attractive.

    If you wanna get back into the group, although they sound like a bunch of back stabbers. Divide and conquer. Talk to the flaky chic, just you and her. Call her on her flakiness.

    Also talk to the cockblocker in front of the flake.

    If the group ice out bothers you, you have to put up a front that it rolls off your back. Show strength. Don't stoop to their level, your better and above that.

    Try to talk to the flaky chic, if your into her. If she doesn't want anything to do with you, her loss, your the prize dude, not her.

    Bail that crew too, they sound like jealous children. Meet some cool active happy people.

    You'll meet a girl that won't flake and will end up chasing you.


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