In summary i ask a girl out, she says yes but only as friends, things get cold, a few months later she asks me to join her for drinks, i stupidly say no, then about 2 months later from this in a chat about her with our mutual friend L i get a bit drunk and slightly slate the girl R to L which L no doubt told the girl i liked. (R)

My question is when i saw this girl R last weekend, i didn't feel anything towards her (attraction or hostility)which was good i suppose as internally i haven't felt any attraction due to the gap in time of seeing each other. Weirdly though i literally felt, if we were to get involved in a conversation with one another, that i would revert back to being the AFC chump that one night that completely killed her interest in me.

Is this normal? never felt like this before in terms of my default response to seeing someone i used to like as being turning into a AFC when i know for a fact she liked me a whole lot more when i relaxed being myself.

Chances with 'R' are all gone which i completely accept. I currently have a FWB with a HB8 with awesome sex which suits me fine.

All 'R' said to me when she came over to me in the bar last weekend was " Hi, i like your beard ( i was clean shaven before), how long you had it?" I answered her, then she gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek and left..

So basically i want things to be like they never happened but why in my head won't it let me? It's weird!