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Thread: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

  1. #1
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    I met this girl out at a party one time, and say hi to her around campus, then she stopped me one day asking for my number. I gave it to her and arranged our next meeting.

    I asked if she wanted to go eat with me in the dining hall the next day, then I decided to take her out to a restaurant. I paid for the meal, was that AFC?

    The conversation went okay, it was a little stale but not totally, there were some quiet moments though.

    Anyway, after dinner i invited her to come over and hang out, she went back to her dorm and then came over. She hungout with my roommates/neighbors and I, played cards, listened to music, and drank.

    Then it came time to go to bed and she willingly came to lay down in my room. We layed down and i made a move, we started kissing me but for some reason I felt nervous, couldnt breath, and couldnt get it up. I tried putting on a condom but it just wasnt working, I told her im sorry cause i feel bad.

    So we just went to sleep, i finally fell asleep because her body is like 200 degrees lol

    Anyway, we woke up, it wasnt really awkward, i dropped her off at her room and i went to class, but i didnt kiss her goodbye from my car, is that bad? Should i have?

    And she kind of shoots down some of my texts, like today heres what our convo was:

    Me: grrr i got the sniffles (said that because she was sniffling and coughed a little last night)
    HB: im sorry
    Me: you're lucky you're cute, ill let you off the hook this time
    HB: oooooh i feel so special

    I didnt know how to reply so i just left it.

    Shes a little weird.. like she always tells me random stuff like she has sex a lot, or that shes bisexual, or that shes gotten hickeys from girls....Whats this mean? I dont believe everything she says.

  2. #2
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    1) Yeah that was AFC.

    2) Yes you should have.

    3) She's not weird, not bisexual or anything of the sort. She is horny and wants lots of attention.
    You somehow managed to lead her to bed but then lost control. From this you should learn to work on your inner game and confidence issues, do not feel overwhelmed to have a HB naked in front of you. It's no big deal and it'll happen again.
    Just relax, BREATHE SLOW, and slowly enjoy the process.

  3. #3
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyOnPurpose View Post
    1) Yeah that was AFC.

    2) Yes you should have.

    3) She's not weird, not bisexual or anything of the sort. She is horny and wants lots of attention.
    You somehow managed to lead her to bed but then lost control. From this you should learn to work on your inner game and confidence issues, do not feel overwhelmed to have a HB naked in front of you. It's no big deal and it'll happen again.
    Just relax, BREATHE SLOW, and slowly enjoy the process.

    How can I fix this so i can slay this HB?

  4. #4
    Ice Breaker's Avatar
    Ice Breaker is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    Did you go to the room, kissed and then whipped it out?

    You probably should have done more foreplay. You were probably nervous and didn't really warm up to the situation before you both got naked. You should have went in for the kiss and slowly escalated with your kissing, by kissing her neck and using one hand to cradle her face and pull her into the kiss and the other hand touching her hips and slowly moving this hand under her shirt to touch bare skin. Then tease her with slipping your fingers slightly under her panty line and taking yours and her shirt off and pressing tight, skin to skin, while still making out of course. Keep escalating and drawing it out until you feel hot and ready.

    This would've gave you some time to relax and get comfortable with this whole sexual situation without putting so much stress on thinking about getting a hard on, plus -from what I've been reading- chicks totally dig having foreplay drawn out and anticipation leads to better sex, for both he and she.

    If you drawn out the teasing and foreplay, I'm sure you wouldn't have had to think about getting a hard on.

    I writing this from experience. I had a problem getting it up once and it was embarrassing, but I eventually did after some more making out and foreplay.

    As for salvaging your situation, I wouldn't keep apologizing to her if you see her. It's hard to say what to do, because you didn't really mention how she's been reacting to you lately. If she's still friendly and talks to you, set up another night.

    Quit masturbating often, if you do. Once every two weeks, in my opinion, will keep you from ever worrying about getting it up. Also, don't drink quite as much the night you think you might get laid; people say to much alcohol kills boners.

  5. #5
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    It's happened to me in the past and my guess is that it has happened to the best of us. I'm not really an expert in this department but I'll share my opinion anyway. I'd say it usually happens because you get nervous. I think we get nervous because of a lack of experience and or confidence. Also the more you do it and the more you tell yourself that it's ok to do it and that you don't need to be in love or to be in a relationship to have sex the better you'll be and the less likely this will be to occur. Also, try alcohol. I remember one time drinking didn't really work and I wound up driving the woman back anyway but it's worth a shot especially if she is going to sleep overnight anyway. Don't over do it though you just want to get a buzz not be too drunk otherwise you won't be able to perform.


    Also, as was already mentioned a lot of foreplay is a very good idea. It will prepare you plus it will get her more physically prepared(if you do it right)for sex and make it more likely for her to have an orgasm and for you to get hard.

  6. #6
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    Thanks guys for the replies and opinions!

    Now this happened thursday night, friday we woke up i went to class and then dropped her off. Then after class i drove home and so did she because we have monday/tuesday off, so i wont be seeing her till next week.

    I really dont know what to text her to stay in touch, i dont want to come across as needy but i want a second chance with her.

    What can i do to stay in touch? I thought i read that texting was only for setting up your next meeting?

  7. #7
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    heres a convo from today...

    me: hey dork, ya get home safely? (when she went home from school)
    hb: yeah. im in my bed right now with my baby right now (referring to her dog)
    me: haha your dog?
    hb: yea
    me: im with my 2 dogs right now too! looks like they missed me :P
    hb:nice
    me: when are you going back up to school?
    hb: idk

    i just left it there because she started 1 word answering me. what did i do wrong? what should i be doing?

    i dont get it, i see girls texting guys for hours strait. what are they talking about!? what is there to talk about!?

  8. #8
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
    DirtyOnPurpose is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    It's like you know a few opener lines but the rest is uber boring and completely nonsexual.
    First reply was good from her but it got down to one word replies as you kept on asking silly and typical questions.

    I cannot tell you what to do exactly, if you still don't know how to hold a conversation then you've got a lot to learn.

    In general, there is everything to talk about. Except that it's not about the content, it's about how you deliver it.
    Instead of "haha your dog?" which got you an obvious yes, you could've said it this way "is he/she good in bed?" or anything of the sort. You need to fuck with them not bore them with typical questions that they don't have fun answering. Good luck kid.

  9. #9
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyOnPurpose View Post
    It's like you know a few opener lines but the rest is uber boring and completely nonsexual.
    First reply was good from her but it got down to one word replies as you kept on asking silly and typical questions.

    I cannot tell you what to do exactly, if you still don't know how to hold a conversation then you've got a lot to learn.

    In general, there is everything to talk about. Except that it's not about the content, it's about how you deliver it.
    Instead of "haha your dog?" which got you an obvious yes, you could've said it this way "is he/she good in bed?" or anything of the sort. You need to fark with them not bore them with typical questions that they don't have fun answering. Good luck kid.
    good point, thanks!

    any good reads on what to do to hold a conversation?

  10. #10
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Couldn't get it up, did I ruin it?

    I feel like this girl is avoiding me, i texted her to let me know when shes back on campus, she said ok but never told me. Then this morning when i was driving i saw her look the other way so maybe i wouldnt notice her...

    What can I do? I got whiskey d*ck. It happens...

    She still has my sweatpants, how can i use this to my advantage?


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