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Thread: How long do you think attraction lasts ?

  1. #1
    MattHarpawe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How long do you think attraction lasts ?

    Attraction is not a choice...but how fast can it be killed?

    As an example, there is this girl in my class who seems interested in me, from the day I started doing kino on her (worked awesome, she immediately kino'ed back, jumping on my back and stuff). I was relaxed etc. But I have this problem, where as soon as a girl shows an interest in me, I sabotage it by becoming stuck in my head, needy, worried etc.

    So I'm wondering, if a girl IOIs you one day, could the attraction be dead the next? How long does the attraction last in her mind?

    Same thing goes for #closes. What causes a flake, is usually that since you are not there anymore, arousing and attracting, the attraction just somehow dies away. Therefore it is important to leave a strong impression in the mind of a woman.

    So attraction has a lifespan ? it's like a candle which slowly burns out ?
    What are you theories and/or experiences on the subject of attraction in relation to time ?

  2. #2
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    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How long do you think attraction lasts ?

    That's a tricky question and can change from one women to the next. I haven't found attraction to die in a day. As long as you keep your cool, act alpha, and continue to escalate, the attraction should grow. I ran into this recently with an HB 8 that I started seeing. She was SUPER into me. The last time we hung out she had that "hopelessly attracted" look the whole time. Now we live far away from each other so a month later she tells me she doesn't think she can stay committed. She lost attraction because she hadn't seen me in awhile and everything happened so fast an emotional connection wasn't made. I'm not too worried though because I will see this girl again and I will act alpha. Her attraction will come back as soon as I see her. You can read about it in the thread: Got a HB 8 and possibly lost her: a cautionary tale.

    Sometimes it seems like a girl was into you and the next day she's not. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Maybe she's having a bad day, or something is on her mind. I wouldn't worry about it man. Your over thinking it. Do your thing and talk to lots of women and it will work out for you.

  3. #3
    TomInVegas's Avatar
    TomInVegas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How long do you think attraction lasts ?

    Quote Originally Posted by MattHarpawe View Post
    Attraction is not a choice...but how fast can it be killed?

    As an example, there is this girl in my class who seems interested in me, from the day I started doing kino on her (worked awesome, she immediately kino'ed back, jumping on my back and stuff). I was relaxed etc. But I have this problem, where as soon as a girl shows an interest in me, I sabotage it by becoming stuck in my head, needy, worried etc.

    So I'm wondering, if a girl IOIs you one day, could the attraction be dead the next? How long does the attraction last in her mind?

    Same thing goes for #closes. What causes a flake, is usually that since you are not there anymore, arousing and attracting, the attraction just somehow dies away. Therefore it is important to leave a strong impression in the mind of a woman.

    So attraction has a lifespan ? it's like a candle which slowly burns out ?
    What are you theories and/or experiences on the subject of attraction in relation to time ?
    Attraction can be created in an instant and it can be gone just as fast. The fastest and most effective way to kill attraction is to be needy. It doesn't even need to be over the top neediness. It can just be very subtle neediness and she will be done with you. Learn game, have as many interactions with women as you can and it will start making more sense of what to do and not do.
    Hit me up if you're thinking about coming to Vegas. It's the Best City for Game in the World.

  4. #4
    Vere is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How long do you think attraction lasts ?

    Attraction is a process and yes it does expires but I am not sure when..Attraction is what you experience when you are in the presence of someone you like and it can die out without proper fuelling thats why when you are building comfort..you are advised to go back and fuel attraction a bit so as to maintain it..otherwise you will be on a fast track to friendzone
    Whether you think you can or you can't either way, you are right-To believe in the heroic makes heroes

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How long do you think attraction lasts ?

    Attraction doesn't have a timeline. If you're attractive from the start, then don't change your formula for ANYONE.

    As for your psychological sabotage problem, remember, you're the prize. There's no need for you to turn needy because you don't need her. Get that in your head! It takes time, and might harden you a little, but it helps your game.
    I wish I was little bit taller
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    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

  6. #6
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    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How long do you think attraction lasts ?

    Agreed attraction lasts only as long as you are willing to cultivate, irrigate and feed it or it dies off and has to be plowed under.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  7. #7
    msa173's Avatar
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    Default Re: How long do you think attraction lasts ?

    Quote Originally Posted by TomInVegas View Post
    Attraction can be created in an instant and it can be gone just as fast. The fastest and most effective way to kill attraction is to be needy. It doesn't even need to be over the top neediness. It can just be very subtle neediness and she will be done with you. Learn game, have as many interactions with women as you can and it will start making more sense of what to do and not do.

    I agree with tom on this neediness kills atraction quickly. You can lock in some of the attraction you have gained by escalatjng and going for the makeout. After that attraction falls everyday after you meet her until you have sex.
    Looking for new wings in LA let me know if you want to sarge together.

  8. #8
    cdharders's Avatar
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    Default Re: How long do you think attraction lasts ?

    Attraction can be made or killed in a second. It can be started the second a girl sees a guy that is the right build walk into a bar, then killed the second she sees him pick his nose or treat someone rudely. In my experience, it's incredibly easy to kill attraction and you must be very attentive to build it. Very easily, a girl can lose attraction for you for not going for her soon enough.


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