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Thread: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

  1. #11
    G Force is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    UPDATE:

    I just left it for nearly two weeks then re-established contact just over an hour ago via Facebook.

    Tried the questions game. It was fun, but I think I'm probably chasing a lost cause. Not absolutely sure though.

    See, my plan was to keep it going for a while (we went back and forth for nearly an hour) then go for, "Would you rather go see a movie on tomorrow night, or a concert on Wednesday night?"

    At first she seemed to be taking it as a hypothetical question, but chose concert. Then I sent her a link to the details for the concert she complained that it's expensive.

    Actually, it is a little expensive. I assumed it would be cheaper because it's bands I've never heard of at a small venue, and I didn't bother checking.

    Still, she didn't then say, "So it'll have to be a movie."

    Instead, she got hungry and pretty soon signed off to go get food.

    I do know that she really does have a hell of an appetite and eats very frequently (and had already threatened to go eat when I took a while to take my turn), but still...

    It doesn't look good, right? And even if it's not as bad as it might seem, the ball is in her court, so I should just leave it, right?

    Right?

  2. #12
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    Right! You already know what to do...just do it! The questions game is gold. I used to do that back in the day and it works great. I had my own question game however. I would always do it face to face. It started this way "lets play a game". There's only one rule "I make the rules". She might give you sh!t on this but stay strong...If she wants to play she plays by the rules and that is "I make the rules." You have to be in a place that has a decent amount of traffic. Ask her which guys that are walking by she would date. When she says yes or no ask her why. You get a blueprint to what she likes in a man! She will tell you everything and have a great time doing so. You will be so fun and different. When this goes really well she will ask you if you have a gf (If she doesn't know already...huge IOI). Take it from there.

    From what I read its not going to happen man. Don't worry about it. there's all kinds of women around the corner. Inner game is the key to your success.

  3. #13
    G Force is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    Thanks.

    And I like your questions game too. I'll give it a try some time.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    Good luck! Looks like money was an issue for her. Are there any free concerts?

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    Quote Originally Posted by G Force View Post
    So, about a half hour ago she sent me a link (nothing else) to a Japanese Burger King commercial where a guy eats a triple whopper like a snake. This is somewhat in keeping with one of the main running jokes we have, which is all about just how much she eats (i.e. lots). It's kind of a funny video but not that funny.

    Do I ignore it completely for now, or acknowledge it with a friendly, but abrupt, response?
    This girl is into you and is giving you lots of chances to make it happen. If she is investing in you by sending you funny links, then you need to reward her with a reply. You can even send her a link to a funnier video and make it playful.

    On the date, make it smaller and more casual, so that it's easier her to say yes. suggest getting a drink at a bar (one close to your house, but don't mention that). Then you have an opportunity to bring her back to you place.

  6. #16
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    Dude, ..... If you are planning to take a girl somewhere KNOW all the details including what the tickets cost .... it's not good when you say I didn't bother to check .... Alpha males know everything ....now I don't know your financial situation but you could have responded to her "the tickets are on me" ..... just a thought

  7. #17
    cdharders's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    Quote Originally Posted by G Force View Post
    So, about a half hour ago she sent me a link (nothing else) to a Japanese Burger King commercial where a guy eats a triple whopper like a snake. This is somewhat in keeping with one of the main running jokes we have, which is all about just how much she eats (i.e. lots). It's kind of a funny video but not that funny.

    Do I ignore it completely for now, or acknowledge it with a friendly, but abrupt, response?
    I would just respond "lol"

    I wouldn't get into a battle of setting up and cancelling dates with her. She definitely was not interested enough to see you despite rain. Just hold off communication with here a week or so and re-engage. If she texts, respond, but don't put too much investment in. If she texts a burger video, lol is appropriate. if she texts "Let's see that movie" text "Cool - when are you free ?" Don't tell her your schedule, but be free when she is if you want to meet up.

    Good luck bro! You're on the way!

  8. #18
    G Force is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    ANOTHER UPDATE:

    So, I was thinking DirectIsBest's advice was the best here and that - while I appreciate the optimism and positivity of the other guys - it wasn't gonna happen.

    BUT she has been pretty persistent in trying to re-engage via Facebook, usually just with more funny links and the like. I've responded each time, but I've usually left it a while and I've avoided getting into too much back and forth chat.

    To be honest, I've been thinking, "Leave me alone, I don't wanna be your chat buddy, I just want to forget about you..."

    So yesterday she sent some link to a video of spider's on drugs, then today she was talking about using cake as a measure of success (I don't know either...) and then, about an hour ago when I wasn't on Facebook, she sends this link...

    Louis CK: Dating - Oh My God - YouTube

    If you can't or don't want to click on the link, it's Louis CK talking about dating. Specifically the courage involved on both sides - the courage of men to ask, and the courage of women to say yes (when men are statistically the biggest threat to women).

    I'm a stand-up myself and Louis CK is one of my heroes. She knows I'm a stand-up but I don't think she knows that I'm a big Louis CK fan.

    Now, I guess it COULD be that she sent me this for the same reason she sent the other links - she stumbled upon it, thought it was funny and wanted to share - but...

    Of all the people that might have sent me that specific clip, a girl who I've asked out three times (first time she came alone, but invited friends along later; second time she flaked; third time she declined) - seems like too much of a coincidence.

    It might also be worth noting that the other links she sends me, she also posts on her Timeline. But not this one.

    Trouble is, I know how inclined I can be to clutch at straws, so I'm trying not to read too much into this. It's difficult to get a clear read on the situation though.

    What do you guys think? And how should I respond/proceed?

  9. #19
    hometownextra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    You are in the death wobble, but If I where you personally take it with a grain of salt, time for smoke in mirrors. Alternate between making fun of her, showing very minimal amounts of interest and flat out ignoring her. Push, weak pull and ignored it will put her in prospective that maybe you are thinking that she is less worth your time and that may help you. However, I must stress may. Otherwise only option is to friend zone her yourself and capitulate.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  10. #20
    G Force is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Should I cancel on her before she cancels on me?

    That's what I've been doing and I'm wondering if the Louis CK link is a sign that it's working. If she's trying to say something with it, then it's not exactly subtle.

    I can't decide response-wise between:

    #1
    "One of my heroes." - to show minimal interest (but would in part be pussying out through fear of #2 back-firing).

    and

    #2
    "Is that a hint?" - to be bolder, tease her a bit, call her out on it etc. (but could look a bit too obviously like wishful thinking).


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