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  1. #1
    MattHarpawe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do you respond to negs from girls/criticism?

    Today, as I was wearing clothes a bit more daring and "peacocky" than usual (not for any particular reason), I got a lot of girls judging me (at uni), in the convo, they would bring up "I like blabla", "I really think blabla this color", but also "I really don't like that shirt", some time ago, a girl said my shirt was "horribly ugly" or something along those lines.

    How do you respond to a girl openly JUDGING your style and your taste? It clearly puts her in a position of power - she's screening you, evaluating.
    But if you answer back with a criticism, you look butthurt and affected, don't you?

    I didn't really know how to respond so I just kinda stood there and took it, but I didn't manage to make it look like I was completely unphased.

    Mystery adepts would probably say "punish" her, if you think this is the best approach, what should I say? Should I neg back?

    Should I act as if I don't care? Change the subject ? Give a witty comeback ? Playfully hit her? Act cool and indifferent ? Act as if she is the one with no taste?

    Is it a shit test ? I don't understand this, I really need you guys' insight...

  2. #2
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do you respond to negs from girls/criticism?

    Obviously you're wearing the clothes cause YOU like it... So why should you care. Just tell her " aww this is my ladies man shirt" ( go up to a random girl and say I bet shed date me because of this shirt). Yes I did something like that before and it worked.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  3. #3
    Ice Breaker's Avatar
    Ice Breaker is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you respond to negs from girls/criticism?

    It's good that you were un phased by her criticism/insult. I would go with saying something like:

    "It's ok, not everyone knows good style." (with a I-don't-give-a-sh1t- attitude)

    "Oh, you'd rather see me without out it?" (playfully and teasing)

    Or... I've read this somewhere else, but you'll have to be really confident and cocky to pull this one off. This can also be considered a punishment/NEG.

    "What!? For that, your going to lose your cock sucking privileges for tonight."

    Do this while acting surprised and scolding her like a little kid that did something bad. She'll probably be surprised, because she never got that response from insulting a guy before. It will definitely show that your not an AFC. She'll either laugh at it and you can go from there and play it cool or she'll be offended that you flipped the cards on her and storm off pissed and insulted. Either way, you didn't lose.

  4. #4
    MajorThird is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you respond to negs from girls/criticism?

    First of, I'd say: Don't punish. You don't want to judge, so you don't want to punish.

    Secondly, stick to your frame. Why were you wearing those clothes? To show off? To expand your comfort zone? Then the moment of criticism is the moment to stick to that. I mean... you've looked at yourself in the mirror before you left home, right? You already decided to buy and wear that shirt. Whether the reason be "I think I look awesome in this", or "this is the new me" or "fu@# it, it's comfy and I don't care what others think", don't act all hurt when someone gives them _their_ opinion. I mean: Neg all you want, just not for the sake of retaliation! :-) Also, for all you care, a conversation just opened itself, take it from there!

    Look up a video called "How To Make Her Believe You're Awesome + How To Make Yourself 1000% More Interesting" on YouTube, it tells you about keeping frame (and sticking to fashion choices :-) ).

    However, if she's doing it in public, she's definitely doing more than giving you honest fashion advice. She could be testing you, negging you, or - if she's not that socially adept - trying to just get a conversation going. Anything between picking on you and trying to qualify for you (giving her opinion to you as if you were to give a flying fark).

    The problem is, that you're put on the spot. The safest way would be some kind of response that's a neg and also shows you're not that impressed by the fact that she has an opinion. Here are some things I came up with:

    • Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Or just making terrible conversation?
    • I'm wearing this especially for you! / she: bla bla / you: No, not to please you, to annoy you. (And it seems I got you right where I want you!)
    • You're basically inviting me to go shopping some day, you realize that, don't you? (It's cocky, but I think it's too soon for this big an IOI).
    • [totally relieved] The things a guys must wear to get a girls attention!!! GEEZZZ...!! (Also, funny, but too early for validation I think).
    • Does it take a very specific kind of ugly to make you actively express your opinion? Or do you go around all day telling people you don't like what they wear?


    BTW, Mystery said that peacocking does attract a lot more opinions. People know that when you walk around with goggles on, you get a lot of sh1t all day from guys trying to pick on you, that's as obvious as the goggles. The fact that you do stick to it, gives you value (and opinions). Mystery would probably go with:
    • No, you're attracted to me.

    He might be right too!
    Or you might have bought yourself one UGLY shirt! ;->

  5. #5
    RawNatural's Avatar
    RawNatural is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How do you respond to negs from girls/criticism?

    I didn't read anyone else's response so if I repeat something, sorry.

    I would definitely say do not punish. If you ignore it and act cool about it without a witty reply, you might come off hurt by the comment anyway. I would definitely say it is a sh1t test. She wants to see if you can handle her, take it and dish it back. It's a way of seeing how much confidence you really have. Even if you are wearing an ugly shirt (lol no offense) OWN that. Act like she has no idea what style is and wait until the moment is right and knock her down a peg by insulting her in a way that doesn't look like you're retaliating to her earlier insult. Like "oh, I get it, style isn't really your thing. That's cool" with a smirk of course so it's playful. Then later, say somethin like "You'd look so much better with blonde hair" or whatever different color you can think of that is different from hers. That will get in her head. Hope this helps.


    When we are no longer able to change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.


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