Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19
Like Tree2Likes

Thread: She sent me this... Help?

  1. #1
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 90, Level: 1
    Level completed: 80%, Points required for next Level: 10
    Overall activity: 14.3%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    26
    Points
    90
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default She sent me this... Help?

    Didn't see this one coming... Went out on a day 2 and heavy Kino + k-closed during date and she even kissed me a good night.. She seemed interested all night but two days later I text her and ask her if she is busy tomorrow night and she sends me this:

    "Listen your a really nice guy and any girl would be lucky to have you but i don't think we would work out"

    I reply saying basically that its fair, i was just trying to be nice because you've been hurt before so i probably came off as boring and wasnt really myself... i also said how i respected that she was straight up with me... then she sends this:

    "Not to sound like a cliche, but honestly its me. I thought i was ready to move on & i realized it that night that im not. your the first guy i've been on a date with or even talked to since i've been single. Your not boring at all lol, you have everything going for you i really wish i was at that place but im just not. Thank you for understanding. I think your such a nice guy, not the typical douche bag so i needed to be upfront and not lead you on"

    Not sure how she sees me as a nice guy because I laid my game proper, heavy eye contact, kino'd, kissed her during the date and showed a lot of confidence...

    Anyway after that long text she sent, I acted like it wasn't a big deal and said "Oh ok, no hard feelings. It was nice meting you"

    She seems genuine and actually emotionally out of it, I knew she had a bad breakup with her ex and she isn't over him... So for now I am going to man up and move on... But I still want to keep the door open incase she gets her sh1t together, do I just break contact and hit her up in the future or do I stay friendly or what? I don't see this girl outside my usual routine...

    ALSO: the date was first dinner then was suppose to be us two meeting up with her friend and her "bf", apparently the guy bailed on her and her friend third wheeled all night... I knew I was farked because this girl would just get jealous, so i tried to get the friend to like me and i think i failed... I made out with the girl while we were dancing (this was at a lounge/club) and it was basically in front of her friend, i think it was a bad move... she also tried making things awkward between us, then at the end of the night probably said things about me after I dropped my date and her friend off...

    Basically I'm asking, is my chances with her over for sure? How can I keep the door open? I thought she genuinely liked me but I really don't know now. Is she just being nice or is she being genuine and actually can't get over her ex?? I mean I crept on her twitter couple weeks back and she did post something about her having a dream of her ex and how she is still not over him... Mind you this was couple days after our first date in which she tweeted "ahh just went out on a date, kinda like this guy!"

    I decided not to creep on her otherwise i'd get crazy about her so i haven't checked her twitter or anything since.

  2. #2
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,939, Level: 54
    Level completed: 95%, Points required for next Level: 11
    Overall activity: 40.0%
    Achievements:
    Social5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    877
    Points
    6,939
    Level
    54
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    325

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Yeah dude I suppose you forget her. You did your thing and she just missed the boat. I say don't text her unless she gets in touch with you. In the beginning you shouldn't have tried to qualify/explain yourself to her. But honestly I don't think she means it and she's probably sh1t testing you right now using that famous push and pull that women are known for. Now just wait and see if she tries to get in touch with you. Talk to other people and LIVE YOUR LIFE!
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  3. #3
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 90, Level: 1
    Level completed: 80%, Points required for next Level: 10
    Overall activity: 14.3%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    26
    Points
    90
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    Yeah dude I suppose you forget her. You did your thing and she just missed the boat. I say don't text her unless she gets in touch with you. In the beginning you shouldn't have tried to qualify/explain yourself to her. But honestly I don't think she means it and she's probably sh1t testing you right now using that famous push and pull that women are known for. Now just wait and see if she tries to get in touch with you. Talk to other people and LIVE YOUR LIFE!
    I feel like shes damaged goods, stuck on her ex so I just want to keep a door open just in case. Don't want her to be my priority or anything but if she gets her shit together I'd like another date/shot with her...

    And you're right, i shouldn't have justified myself but i felt i caught her off guard with my last text anyway so ill sit back and wait...

    I'm just surprised she threw this at me, i mean this is the second time i "lost" a girl after having a solid day 2 and at least making out with the girl...

  4. #4
    NoctisCaelumPUA's Avatar
    NoctisCaelumPUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,191, Level: 19
    Level completed: 91%, Points required for next Level: 9
    Overall activity: 96.7%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    137
    Points
    1,191
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    60

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Looks like we got a winner, winner winner chicken dinner! Aww dude you're the man! What I mean by saying this is I have rant about how women are predictable and a rant about how women are too complicated. Let's go with the too complicated topic.

    Women are too complicated
    She played you. Strait up no doubt, sh!t testing little wild one this one. That whole "It's not you it's me, You're a really nice guy but..." was just a line dude to test the metal of your inner man and you failed, like epic fail (she was planning on this happening but hoping you would be different). I have been involved with a girl hung up on her ex and never could get her to forget him but that was then this is now. The key here is "She was waiting" for you to show yourself the man. When she sent you that bogus jazz it was a test to see if you were a Nice Guy who would take her slack or if you would stick up for yourself and "show up" so to speak and flip the script on her (happened so many times, girl tries to next me and I prove her wrong with same BS texts like this). Basically you chickened out and believed every word she said. Remember assumptions are the mother of all screw ups with women and while what they say contains SOME truth you absolutely must take it with a grain of salt.

    Pretty much she gave you the Friend Zone yep slapped with the Friend Zone. She is not looking for a relationship but a fun guy to hookup with/friend with benefits. I love being proven wrong because here I thought all women wanted to get married then you get a frisky little fox like this one.

    Essentially? Try sexting with her. Break out of the Nice Guy frame by going Alpha/Bad Boy and go for the hookup. Like she said you two are on different pages and the only way to salvage is to plug away a few more times to flip the script 2-3 more texts of attempts to do sexting, hookup, etc.

    Basically? She wrote you off but you may want to give it one more shot as she is so willing to put hope in old flames and you are technically an old flame. If she sh!t tests you and says it is over remind her she is so patient with past loves she should be with you..the fun guy. Try it and try to break through.

    You can't GET a girl to forget her EX. He will always have more value. But focus on what you CAN do which is replace him. She will always keep bringing it up till you handle it by "hey this is myself, take it or leave it" without being too threatened by it since it is all a game to them and you must play the game by PROVING yourself to her that you will go for what you want and not have your value reduced by the situation but keep escalating the sexual tension which slowly breaks them down. Don't ignore her just don't be AFC due to her behavior. You were threatened by it and played it safe which is why you failed. Don't wait but hit her up again and remember "show up" and go Alpha with your confidence getting up there or she will be right back to shutting you down. Try the fun guy frame and see how she handles that one. Sadly Cocky & Funny is the only way to win with her right now.
    101 Sets, 30 #'s, 4 K-closes, 1 Date, 1 Bar Pull. My next adventure starts Summer 2014 at the Brewfest, Water Park, Bars, Clubs, etc. Getting Hotels now to prevent driving drunk so really only 2-3 times a month doing Night Game June-Oct. Lots of Day Game.

  5. #5
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 634, Level: 12
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Poland
    Posts
    132
    Points
    634
    Level
    12
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    35

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    That reminds of a time when I met a girl that also started the same line to me (although there was no kiss close). I just laughed and told her where in the world did you get the idea from that there would be anything between us. I told her that she is nice and everything, but talking about dating and stuff was not the time. The moment I said she tried to qualify herself back to me. I ignored the friendzone thing and continued gaming her.

    Another time when a girl said the same stuff I told her that I do not want to be friends, but I want more... it did sound kind of AFC... ok, but back then I did not know anything about gaming... she agreed to give it a try.

    Now from this perspective ignore the friendzone thing. There have been girls that I have known for a long time being friends and nevertheless we hooked up.
    If she friendzones you, say ok, back off a bit and continue gaming (Never show neediness and stay Alpha!), but have other girls around you and make sure she knows this.
    Alternatively give them their medicine back to them. Tell them that they are right and actually you are glad that she brought it up, because it is not her fault. That you wanted to talk to her about it because you are not ready for a relationship, but that she will be a cool friend. But when you do this continue treating her like a friend verbally, but kino her (not necessarily at the same moment). Treat her like your bratty sister.

    Whatever happens never go AFC. It is better to have the woman leave you having respect, than for her to leave you with you going AFC and she not having respect to you.
    Make the impossible possible!

  6. #6
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 90, Level: 1
    Level completed: 80%, Points required for next Level: 10
    Overall activity: 14.3%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    26
    Points
    90
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Quote Originally Posted by NoctisCaelumPUA View Post
    Looks like we got a winner, winner winner chicken dinner! Aww dude you're the man! What I mean by saying this is I have rant about how women are predictable and a rant about how women are too complicated. Let's go with the too complicated topic.

    Women are too complicated
    She played you. Strait up no doubt, sh!t testing little wild one this one. That whole "It's not you it's me, You're a really nice guy but..." was just a line dude to test the metal of your inner man and you failed, like epic fail (she was planning on this happening but hoping you would be different). I have been involved with a girl hung up on her ex and never could get her to forget him but that was then this is now. The key here is "She was waiting" for you to show yourself the man. When she sent you that bogus jazz it was a test to see if you were a Nice Guy who would take her slack or if you would stick up for yourself and "show up" so to speak and flip the script on her (happened so many times, girl tries to next me and I prove her wrong with same BS texts like this). Basically you chickened out and believed every word she said. Remember assumptions are the mother of all screw ups with women and while what they say contains SOME truth you absolutely must take it with a grain of salt.

    Pretty much she gave you the Friend Zone yep slapped with the Friend Zone. She is not looking for a relationship but a fun guy to hookup with/friend with benefits. I love being proven wrong because here I thought all women wanted to get married then you get a frisky little fox like this one.

    Essentially? Try sexting with her. Break out of the Nice Guy frame by going Alpha/Bad Boy and go for the hookup. Like she said you two are on different pages and the only way to salvage is to plug away a few more times to flip the script 2-3 more texts of attempts to do sexting, hookup, etc.

    Basically? She wrote you off but you may want to give it one more shot as she is so willing to put hope in old flames and you are technically an old flame. If she sh!t tests you and says it is over remind her she is so patient with past loves she should be with you..the fun guy. Try it and try to break through.

    You can't GET a girl to forget her EX. He will always have more value. But focus on what you CAN do which is replace him. She will always keep bringing it up till you handle it by "hey this is myself, take it or leave it" without being too threatened by it since it is all a game to them and you must play the game by PROVING yourself to her that you will go for what you want and not have your value reduced by the situation but keep escalating the sexual tension which slowly breaks them down. Don't ignore her just don't be AFC due to her behavior. You were threatened by it and played it safe which is why you failed. Don't wait but hit her up again and remember "show up" and go Alpha with your confidence getting up there or she will be right back to shutting you down. Try the fun guy frame and see how she handles that one. Sadly Cocky & Funny is the only way to win with her right now.
    Makes sense, but i don't think I failed epicly... The average joe would be broken about it, would ask her why and try to convince her to not break up with them... I was more reserved and casually accepted her decision and showed i wasn't affected much, i showed it wasnt a big deal, her loss... is that not what you got from my reply??

    Well i believe there is some truth to it, her first text i didnt believe, i really thought it was a joke but wasnt sure... that threw me off... 2nd text just confirmed what i knew, she is damaged goods and she is stuck on another guy so she isnt emotionally available... i mean like you said, she values her ex more, apparently that second date made her realize how much she missed him... probably because that was her first real bf and whatever we did just brought back old feelings... if she feels so strongly about him why would she bother keeping me around? i think she just had a lot of respect for me and didnt want to put me through that knowing it wont end well... i mean that is what ive seen before at least... correct me if im wrong?

    You are 100% right on one thing, I have to change my mentality and approach and break the nice guy act... i admit, i may have been nice to her but i didnt lack the confidence in escalating... maybe if i was more authentic i would have never gotten in this mess... and that isnt a problem, but when i first met this girl she never responded well to any sexual type flirting, i couldnt go to far with that and i can 100% tell you she wont be too happy with sexting, not yet anyway she is too much of a innocent/nice guy, trust me... i can try to crank up the sexual type flirty texts though...

    I played the cocky/funny role early when we talked, she did like that but would that really flip the script through text? if i can land another date i can just keep pushing it sexually, as soon as she reacts well to one of my sexual lines i can play my game proper... it just throws me off when she is cold about it...

    When should i hit her up again? and when i open should i break the gate right away and be the fun guy by acting like nothing happened?

    How much of my intentions do i verbally admit to her if any?
    Do i just be straight up and tell her i know what she wants in a guy and its a man that knows what he wants and how im that guy or do i just flat out play my game and try to make her realize it? because i feel like talking myself up wont work, but she would be hesitant to give me a chance to prove it at this point?

  7. #7
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    I wouldn't say you failed epically either. Definitely not. Being non-reactive Is a good thing. I wouldn't say you were totally non-reactive but good enough. I wouldn't have said the crap about her "being hurt" and what not. I would have went more along the line of "It is what it is. Nice meeting you."

    Don't verbally admit any of your intentions in the situation your in. If you land another date with her act like nothing happened and be the fun guy. You two are out to have a good time. Be genuine and don't try and throw out sexual lines. That's not necessary and won't help you get laid. You DO need to escalate however, just don't do it verbally. Have a good time and kino ALLOT. Make out with her and kino more. Keep pushing the envelope more and more. If she stops your advances but keeps giving you IOI's and kissing you stop for a bit and continue. Allot of LMR is token resistance. If you get her worked up enough she won't say no.

    You can be nice to a woman and still get laid. Nobody likes a d!ck. I haven't gotten the nice guy label in a very long time but I have women I date call me a great guy all the time. I still treat them well but I do what's best for me, not them.

    I would go no-contact for awhile then if she doesn't initiate you can. Whatever you do talking yourself up would be the worst thing you could do.

  8. #8
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 90, Level: 1
    Level completed: 80%, Points required for next Level: 10
    Overall activity: 14.3%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    26
    Points
    90
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I wouldn't say you failed epically either. Definitely not. Being non-reactive Is a good thing. I wouldn't say you were totally non-reactive but good enough. I wouldn't have said the crap about her "being hurt" and what not. I would have went more along the line of "It is what it is. Nice meeting you."

    Don't verbally admit any of your intentions in the situation your in. If you land another date with her act like nothing happened and be the fun guy. You two are out to have a good time. Be genuine and don't try and throw out sexual lines. That's not necessary and won't help you get laid. You DO need to escalate however, just don't do it verbally. Have a good time and kino ALLOT. Make out with her and kino more. Keep pushing the envelope more and more. If she stops your advances but keeps giving you IOI's and kissing you stop for a bit and continue. Allot of LMR is token resistance. If you get her worked up enough she won't say no.

    You can be nice to a woman and still get laid. Nobody likes a d!ck. I haven't gotten the nice guy label in a very long time but I have women I date call me a great guy all the time. I still treat them well but I do what's best for me, not them.

    I would go no-contact for awhile then if she doesn't initiate you can. Whatever you do talking yourself up would be the worst thing you could do.
    Yeah I know that first text I sent wasn't great but it coulda been worse, I was just really caught off guard and didn't know what to say... But yeah, at least I gave somewhat of a similar comment like you mentioned on the second text...

    Everything you mentioned seems to be my approach already... That is what worries me, on our date she was a little hot and cold at times... Maybe I just showed way too much interest and it scared her off? Maybe she was looking for something slower or not too serious? I think I set the couple vibe too much, and it didn't help how her friend kept introducing me to people as her boyfriend and kept bringing up me and the girl being "together"... I couldn't tell if she was jealous or genuinely supported it...

    What do you think?

    and thanks for the reply/help, i won't be contacting her for at least a month since im out of town... when i get back ill see how everything is...

  9. #9
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,939, Level: 54
    Level completed: 95%, Points required for next Level: 11
    Overall activity: 40.0%
    Achievements:
    Social5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    877
    Points
    6,939
    Level
    54
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    325

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Alright update us: has anything changed? Have you tried anything yet?( communication wise)
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  10. #10
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 90, Level: 1
    Level completed: 80%, Points required for next Level: 10
    Overall activity: 14.3%
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    26
    Points
    90
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Quote Originally Posted by marvilo View Post
    Alright update us: has anything changed? Have you tried anything yet?( communication wise)
    Nope, haven't tried anything. I'm out of town for a month and she knows that so I don't expect her to contact me anyway...


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com