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  • 1 Post By BatMan

Thread: Was it me or her?

  1. #1
    benchase22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Was it me or her?

    i was at the bar and me and my buddy were talkin to these 2 girls. i had the cute one and my bud was married but he was keeping her friend, who was bigger, occupied. i didnt run game at all, we just both came to eachother. we all walked back to my place, me and her grab-ass`n and stuff. we make out in my kitchen, and she keeps sayin she cant do anything while her friends here. eventually, she didnt worry about it and we made it to my room, she gets a little crazy and starts biting my neck and leaving hickies and shit. BUT, everytime i made a move, she would say "no i cant do this, im a bad person, blah blah blah. i askd why and she said that she is going through a divorce and she has a FWB that she thinks might be gettin a little serious but she dont know. i kept doin some pushin, as in sayin she dont have to and she can leave or watever, basically acting like im not losing anything. she would walk out of my room, then come back. the thing was, was that she would get all crazy on me but everytime i kissed below her face, she would push me away and give me her "divorce, FWB" excuse. she would act like she didnt know what we were in my room at 3 a.m. alone for. then i just told her basically, if you came here just to be indecisive and play around with me, then you should leave, and she did. so was there something i couldve done to make her stay, or was it just not happenin?

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Was it me or her?

    She may have felt you were angry and decided to leave.its was as if you didnt get what you wanted so you bailed.Next around grind hip to hip whilst making out.lift her shirt stomach on stomach whilst kissing and then go back to grinding whilst doing both.anytime she complains just be non reactive while escalating.for a place like room that should suffice..

  3. #3
    benchase22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Was it me or her?

    i wasnt acting mad at all, although it was the first time i was playin it cool, acting like it was no big deal. we did grind hip to hip, its jus that when i would try to kiss lower, she would back off. i couldnt even kiss her neck without her stopping me. after her denying me bout 20 times, i didnt wana come off as needy and desperate so i basically backed off and she went on her way.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Was it me or her?

    Wow. Yes there are few things you could have done differently. Your first mistake was asking her "Why?" Perhaps you didn't expect her to respond with such a serious answer and figured she might just be role playing when she said she was a bad girl. But still, never ask "why?"

    The other thing was giving her the option to leave. I'm not saying to physically hold her there. That's wrong. But if you are the man then you are the leader and you have LEAD HER. Hide her from her inhibitions. If she is looking to you to make a decision for her then do it. Don't give her an option. She is simply wanting you to make her feel like she is not a slut and you didn't comfort that. Hell go right ahead and say "I want you to stay since we're having a good time." (But generally speaking you want to try and avoid logically convincing a woman why she should sleep with you.)

    The last thing is to WATCH....YOUR....FRA ME. She set the frame that she can't do anything because of her FWB. You have to set another frame such as " You're right. This is wrong. It's just that you are doing something to me and I can't control myself." Then walk away at let her come back to you. DON'T tell her if she wants to leave she can. Just change the frame that she really wants you. Be playful with it. Spread good feelings and lightheartedness on the situation.

    P.S. Oh yea. And the last thing about her being indecisive and playing around just leaves a bad taste on the whole interaction. I wouldn't bang you either if you told me that lol. You responded to her rejection in a negative way instead of reshaping it to your benefit. Next time don't take the rejection so personally and realize that you can change things around.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Was it me or her?

    Quote Originally Posted by benchase22 View Post
    i wasnt acting mad at all, although it was the first time i was playin it cool, acting like it was no big deal. we did grind hip to hip, its jus that when i would try to kiss lower, she would back off. i couldnt even kiss her neck without her stopping me. after her denying me bout 20 times, i didnt wana come off as needy and desperate so i basically backed off and she went on her way.
    If you can't escalate kino then it simply means you did something wrong. Usually means you did it too fast for her.

    Now I'm not saying you can't do it fast. Just saying there's a way to do it. And you have realize that it's not just important to initiate kino, but to end it first. Before her. (Let me know if you were already doing this.)

    You have to move in close like you're going to kiss her, (builds tension) then pull away and talk about something unrelated (massive tension). Rub her leg then take your hand off to check your phone then don't put it back on her leg after you put your phone away. It all creates mystery and tension. It makes her wonder if you are going to have sex or not. And the beautiful thing is that each time you pull away from her, she will actually let you go a bit farther next time you come in. You do this all the way until her clothes are off on your bed. I've done it this way for so long it's not even funny how well it works. It's actually....scary.

    And the one time I didn't do it with a girl (It was shortly after a break up and I was rusty) it took me two weeks of seeing her almost everyday until "she let me" (yes I said she let me) have sex with her. Why? Because I was pushy and didn't pull away. In fact the only reason I closed was that I was the only guy she was talking to right after her break up (we were making out no problem) and she then found out her ex banged someone else leaving room for me to move in.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    benchase22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Was it me or her?

    i initiated pretty fast, come to think of it, nothing really forcefull though

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Was it me or her?

    Quote Originally Posted by benchase22 View Post
    i initiated pretty fast, come to think of it, nothing really forcefull though
    Oh I'm sure it wasn't forceful. I know you're better than that if you got her back to your place lol. It's just important to mix it up to leave her in suspense. Less resistance that way.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Was it me or her?

    It may not have been easy but its best not to have that option or go with it

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Was it me or her?

    Push pull, ignoring the negativity, classic examples of the perfect way to turn this situation in your favor. solid advice from batman here, she was obviously seeking validation from you to ensure her that she wasn't a bad person due to her baggage, whateves ma'am, she was there for a reason and it wasn't for advice on her life choices, unless you left out the part where you told her you was a councillor as part of your game, too bad it didn't end quite the way you wanted it but at least you had fun and a better outlook on future endeavors like this one.
    You can't miss something you've never had, but I can be sure she will regret her opportunity...

    Better known as Debauchivalrious...


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