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  • 1 Post By hometownextra
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Thread: need help with this girl im desprate for tips

  1. #1
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default need help with this girl im desprate for tips

    This post isn't about gaming but I was wondering if anyone can help. So before I was gaming this hb8 but after I learned more about her I decided to stop. Now I'm a really good friend of hers and I found out that she started cutting again(she has done it before but she just started again now) and I was wondering if there is anything that we do in the community that we can do to help her out. Here is something about her (feel free to ask more)
    We live in Calgary and she just moved from Nova Scotia this summer and she hates it here. She wants to go back to her dad in nova Scotia and she will later on in the year. Her mom right now loves her I know that but she doesn't know how to express it so HB is literally abused. HB does not know that her mom loves her or wants to deny it. In class she is very quiet and only talks to me. She smokes weed also like two times every three days. She also listens to metal and shit.

    And that's all I can think of right now. The pua community is very important to me but after I found out about this I stopes gaming her. I can't stand just doing nothing I'm worried and I do not want her to hurt herself anymore. Anything I can do? I trust that you guys won't joke around like the other people I asked please.
    I may be a starter but I like to help whatever ways I can

  2. #2
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with this girl im desprate for tips

    Gaming her is only bad if you use it for evil uses. If you game her to keep rapport she may trust you enough to help her. Additionally if she only trusts you and you change your actions abruptly that may cause more damage than good if you are indeed the only one that she really interacts with and trusts.

    So abruptly changing your ways could be very dangerous.

    Any additional clarification or questions do not hesitate to ask
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  3. #3
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with this girl im desprate for tips

    Okay thanks. Of anyone else got any other tips I despreatly need it. Do our English teacher I'm the only guy that I'd keeping her from going suicidal. Please help I won't want to see her hurt herself no more.
    I may be a starter but I like to help whatever ways I can

  4. #4
    hometownextra's Avatar
    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with this girl im desprate for tips

    You need to keep a strong frame that is based on stability. If she happens to need emotional support you can give her that. But I repeat do not loose whatever you where doing before you found all this out. You have to maintain that you are not changing and that then makes you the only constant. People in that state of mind need that constant to lean on to provide them the stability that is lacking in their own life.

    In this instance you may develop a relationship to help her deal with these issues, when it comes to these issues there are no rules so long as it is for a noble or good cause

    So if you have to game her, date her or whatever to prevent her from harming herself fine so long as you are willing to do so with good hearted intentions only
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  5. #5
    afflixion is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with this girl im desprate for tips

    You mean cutting as in herself? Self-harming?

    And what do you mean by abused? In what way?

    Surprisingly, self-harm isn't necessarily an indicator for being suicidal - though that's not to say she isn't, and she's obviously in a bad place either way.

    Abuse (of some kind), using drugs, parents separated and her moving between them, self-harming... That's a nasty black hole right there. Obviously.

    You DO need to stop "gaming" her in the sense of trying to get anything from her for yourself or be in any way manipulative. But I agree you shouldn't go changing how you behave around her. Be a genuine friend (or more, if it comes to that). She would benefit from professional help but might not be receptive to the idea...? Tell her you are worried about her, and ask if she would consider seeing a doctor and/or counselor. Let her know she can talk to you about anything, any time (assuming that's how you feel). And try not to give her too much advice - if she talks, just listen.

  6. #6
    WebDude420 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with this girl im desprate for tips

    (this is just my opinion only).

    #1- Determine why she is cutting herself. Talk to her mom and really figure out if she needs professional help. PUA stuff aside this is a human being and Mental or Physical Health comes first in life.
    If you think she is suicidal, stop game (IMO), get her help.

    #2- If she is more in a "depressed state," and only hangs out with you, and you two are honest, and are ACTUALLY FRIENDS.
    (if hypothetically you knew you had 0% chance of hooking up with her, actual friends means you find qualities and other benefits by being her friend and vice versa.)

    If she is in "depressed state," and your the only dude she talks to, here are questions that will help us help you:

    *How long have you known her?
    *How often to you hang out with her outside of class settings?

    *Define the type of relationship you have, how you communicate, etc.

  7. #7
    BigT is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with this girl im desprate for tips

    So she does have professional help I think paid for by her mom. But she hates it and does not want to to go. I have known her for about a month and a half and I talk to her usually everyday. As she hates Calgary she found a job a McDonalds to earn money to pay for the flight back. And because of the literally full-time job I have never hung out with her after school. I have hung out with her 3 times during lunch but she goes to smoke a lot and that'd the reason why I usually don't hang with her. Also now I have no intention of gaming her for myself I just want to help her. I will do almost anything to try and get her to stop.
    I may be a starter but I like to help whatever ways I can


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